PS  I love you
by Rienne224
Summary: Hermione leaves England for Canada's east coast after the final battle with a broken spirit and a secret. Moving to a small Muggle community, she locks away her wand. Will the return of a sexy wizard be what it takes to come clean and reclaim her wand?
1. Chapter 1

It had been hours since night had fallen. The crickets could now be heard over the dying embers of the cackling fire that did little to heat the den. The East Coast summer was slowly fading into autumn, leaving in its shallow wake a collage of serenity. Russet, saffron, and amber emerged from the foliage, clashing beautifully with the mountbatten pink sky. It was no wonder, to any who had visited this place, that she decided to settle in here. There truly was no place on Earth like it. Although England had its charms, and would always be home to her, there was a sense of self that accompanied her new life.

He once told her 'You can smell the sunshine, and taste the forest'.

She had laughed at him. Called him a hopeless romantic. He gave her one of 'her' smiles, tilted his head back ever-so-slightly and looked far away for a moment.

"Perhaps, one day, when the war is over, I'll go back. I could buy that little house, get a job in the town, get a muggle degree and teach. Or I could rent out a room, and spend my days fishing and sailing."

"That sounds lovely." she beamed. "I didn't know you could fish."

"I can't."

They both laughed this time.

_Yes_, she thought, _on nights like tonight, it's not difficult to understand why he held this place so dear. _ She tipped a glass to her lips, allowing the smell and taste of rum to soothe her.

She was quickly snapped back to reality when the shutters began to rattle against a gust of wind. Standing up from her perch on the floor by the fire, she made her way over to the window. Reaching out, she unclasped the rusted hooks that held the shutters against the outside paneling. The midnight air chilled her fire-warmed face. Pulling the shutters in, she stopped and looked out to the moon reflected on the still river waters. How beautiful it looked, swaying slightly on the surface of the river, as if talking in whispers to the forest that lined its shores. The trees sashayed in response, lapping up the gossip of romance and intrigue. She leaned on the windowsill, watching nature's private dance for a few moments, a smile ghosting its way to her lips. _That man will be my undoing_, she murmured.

Yes, there was a sense of self that came with the lands. The forests were so vast that you could stand at the edge and never see the other side. There were no magical creatures that haunted them. No strange beasts that roamed under the canopy. Just trees, and brooks, and forest creatures that scattered when you approached. Villages and towns were swallowed by their majesty. From her very own window, all she could see of the adjoining village was the ballpark and tennis courts on the opposite river front, and a steeple of one of the many muggle churches that towered over the tree tops farther up the hill to the right. If the three thousand inhabitants of the village didn't stand a chance against the forest, united as they were, what chance did she have? The forest humbled her, made her feel insignificant. Here she felt as if she would pass on tomorrow, the world wouldn't even notice. She liked that feeling. Here, she was not a member of the golden trio. Under this sky she was not a headstrong intellect. Surrounded by these trees, she was not Hermione Granger, survivor and hero to the wizarding world. This land knew her only as Hermione, the copper haired, guitar playing chef for a local restaurant.

With a gentle sigh, she stepped back from her window, pulling the shutters closed behind her with a 'click'. Instead of returning to her perch by the fire, she stood to the side, rubbing her arms to create some warmth as she looked upon the mantle at the pictures. The unmoving portraits were usually calming, but tonight they just mocked her. Sighing to herself, she waved her hand in front of them, and they sprang to life.

The picture on the far left showed her eleven year old, bushy haired self trotting across the grass with several books in tow. Then she tripped, spilling her books around her, causing her to shake her head and blush in frustration. The picture shivered, as if the person behind the magical lens was laughing gaily. The next one showed her beaming as Harry hugged Hagrid in the meal hall. Ron was wearing his usual smirk. Hagrid wiped a rather large tear from his eye, and the picture replayed itself again. To the right of that one, Harry was making a face at the camera, all snuggled up in his blankets laying on the floor of the meal hall in their third year while Ron made bunny-ears appear from behind his head. She couldn't help but let out a small giggle as she thought of how muggle it was for Ron to do this with his own fingers instead of magically conjuring some up. She figured he was still a little wary of the slug incident despite the fact that he had his wand replaced from the previous year's fiasco. Hermione fingered the wooden frame as she thought of how easy it was for Harry to smile, despite the fact that he thought Sirius Black was on his way into the castle to murder him in his sleep.

With a sigh, she moved onto the next picture, trying not to dwell on the fact that Sirius was gone. Picking up the next framed picture, she laughed out loud as she remembered the night this was taken. It was the night of the ball in their fourth year. At the time, she thought she looked beautiful all dressed up. Now as she gazed upon her dress, she couldn't remember what possessed her to buy that god-awful dress in the first place. But she did look quite lovely none-the-less. After the ball, all of Gryffindor tower got together for a group portrait. Everyone looked horribly tired. The boys had long since discarded their ties and outer dress robes, and most stood with untucked shirts and open collars; hair messed up from hours of dancing. Viktor snuck into the picture, for he did not belong to a house, but was Hermione's date. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, and looked as snarly as always, but was actually quite happy at the time. Hermione couldn't help but think that if Ron looked any more sour at Viktor's presence, he would have puckered into himself and disappeared completely like a tiny little black hole. Shaking that image from her head, she replaced the picture and moved onto the next one, which showed Sirius and Harry play-wrestling in Grimmauld Place. Harry and Sirius were rolling around on the floor, when Harry finally pinned Sirius. Harry jumped up, threw his arms into the air in triumph and did a small victory lap around the room. While he wasn't paying attention, Sirius threw a sly wink at the camera, changed into Snuffles and pounced on Harry, knocking him to the floor, and proceeded to lick the back of Harry's neck, causing tears to stream down Harry's face from the tickles.

The next one was taken in the Burrow. Remus and Molly were in the kitchen cleaning up after a large dinner. Remus was waltzing Molly around the kitchen with a large smile on his face, singing along to some muggle song that was playing on the muggle radio that Arthur had received as a Christmas gift from Hermione. Molly was blushing profusely, and got distracted from her cleaning charm. Suddenly, the scrubber left the plate in the background and attacked the camera, as Molly was trying to swat George – or was it Fred? – away so they wouldn't catch her on camera blushing. Hermione remembered as Molly later scolded the boys for trying to catch her on film without her knowledge, and telling them they deserved the soap in their eyes they got from the haywire charm. The boys thought it best not to keep that particular picture for fear of future scolding from their mother, and gave it to Remus. Remus later gave it to Hermione when they were reminiscing about the fun times had at the Burrow that summer. Remus told Hermione he had plenty reason to smile lately, more-so than she had, so it was only fair that she get to keep that picture.

Hermione wiped the hot tears away from her cold cheeks as she thought about Remus. Life had not been kind to him, and just when he had a little bit of happiness, he died to protect those he loved, those he had never met, and those who deserved a better life than he had been dealt. _He was a brilliant wizard_, she thought, _and an even more spectacular man_.

She stepped away from the pictures; hoping distance would ease the dull thud that had developed behind her eyes. With a wave of her hand, the pictures returned to their stationary positions. Reaching down, Hermione grabbed some kindling and a fresh log to throw on the fire, noticing now that the glow was fading. Just as she got the gate closed, the grandfather clock chimed three times.

3 am. Is it really that late? Gee time flies when you are having fun… she thought as she picked up the blanket from the floor and moved to the old leather couch. She tossed the blanket over her curled up legs and picked up the mail that was sitting on the end table next to her.

_Bill. Bill. Statement. Credit Card offer. Home security offer. Bill. Letter from…Ginny!_

Throwing the rest of the mail aside, Hermione opened the wax sealed letter from Ginny. Since leaving England for Canada's east coast, she and Ginny have been corresponding through muggle mail. Hermione did not want her home set up with a floo. Although it was apparition safe, the only person who knew where she lived was Ginny. Hermione had given up using magic, having seen enough curses, hexes and unforgivable's in the final battle to last her 50 lifetimes. She spent the first 11 years of her life as a muggle, so she knew it wouldn't be too hard to adapt to a muggle lifestyle once again. So she locked her wand away, to keep it away from prying eyes and curious visitors. She traced her finger down the opened parchment, revealing Ginny's letter. It was better for the contents to be hidden, in case some muggle decided to open it. Picking up her glass of rum and coke, she let the words sink in.

_Dear Hermione,_

_How is life? Things here are fantastic. Just two weeks ago I went into Diagon Alley to buy a new set of quidditch gloves for Harry, when the salesman told me that the Firebolt X50 is set to go on the market in 2 months. He told me that because Harry is his best customer (I'm sure you are as shocked as I am – ha!) he would give me a discount on it, and would throw in the sticky grip accessory for free! I was beginning to wonder how I was going to be able to get one for Harry before Christmas, as they sell like hotcakes! But he assured me that he would put one aside for me so that Harry would get his gift. Isn't that wonderful? Oh! Harry will be so excited! He has been looking forward to this broom for ages! I will claim ownership of his Firebolt when he gets his new one…hahaha._

_But enough quidditch talk, no need to bore you more than usual..haha. The family is good; friends are good, blah blah blah. Harry still hasn't proposed, but I assure you if he did I wouldn't be including it in a letter, I would be popping into your bedroom in the middle of the night to shake you awake and make you celebrate with me. Come hell or high water Hermione, I swear one of these days I will drag your sorry little carcass back to England and there won't be a damn thing you can say about it! Hahaha. I know. High hopes._

_Merlin, Hermione. Everybody misses you so much. And while they are still pissed off that you only correspond with them through ME, they are starting to get rather suspicious. I can't say I blame them. But sooner or later you will have to confront them you know. Telling them you needed to get away and be on your own for a while is starting to wear thin. You know how my mother gets. I don't even live at home anymore and she is STILL calling on me all the time trying to get you to come home. Even Percy is trying to figure out a way to trick you into coming back._

_Don't worry; I won't try to trick you. I respect that you needed this time away, and will keep my promise. Even without keeping up your wand practice I'm sure you could kick my sorry ass any day. But I think that this quill is going to kick it so I will talk to you later._

_Much love,_

_Gin_

Hermione folded up the letter and put it back into the mail holder. She figured it wouldn't be too long before the Weasleys became suspicious. They are not the type of people to let go of someone. If they thought someone needed their space, they would back away, but not for long. She couldn't believe that they waited over 2 years to start considering hunting her down. Although in the back of her mind she was slightly miffed they would go on with life without her, she was thankful for the time away, and the peace and secrecy that she had found.

The final battle had really done a number on all the survivors. Too many times she had gone through the list of casualties of this war, only to end up feeling as if she wished she were amongst them.

Harry had to grow up without his parents. Cedric and Fred never even had the chance to grow up. Severus never got the chance to love someone and be loved in return. Sirius spent years of his life locked away and tortured by Dementors for crimes he did not commit, knowing the murderer ran free, only to get a small amount of hope for a loving family, and to have it taken away by the wand of his own deranged cousin. Remus never got to see his boy grow up.

_Oh Remus. I miss our chats so much. Even when I was still a child, you never treated me like one. You always knew what to do to cheer me up. Give me a photograph, make me a cup of tea, and discuss muggle news with me. I don't have anyone like that in my life anymore. I don't think I would want anyone in my life like that anymore to be honest. That place is reserved for you._

"I know you wouldn't want me to be miserable, and would tell me to let someone else be there for me, but I can't do it. I just can't." she mumbled, running her slender fingers through her long chestnut hair. Hermione bent forward resting her elbows on her knees, and dropped her face into the palms of her hands.

"Merlin help me, I just can't do it!" she growled through her sadness. Hot tears began to swim across the palms of her hands, pooling there and moving down to trail her jaw and neck. She fell forward onto the cold wooden floor, propping herself up by her hands and knees before falling to her elbows. Manic sobs overtook her, and she felt the lump in her chest move up to her throat, making it difficult to breathe. Blinded by tears and anguish, she did not see her wards flash, alerting her that someone had stepped onto her property.

"FUCK!" She slammed her fist onto the floor and let out a primal scream, filled with pain, loss and suffering. Her muscles twitched, and hiccups overtook her as she tried to inhale a breath. Finding even seeing clearly had become difficult; she rocked back onto her calves and leaned her back against the couch.

_Oh for fuck sakes Hermione! How many times are you going to do this to yourself before you LET. IT. GO?_ She mused.

Angry at herself for letting her emotions overtake her, she picked up the glass she was drinking from earlier and threw it into the fireplace, smashing the crystal on the concrete back and littering the floor in shards and dust. The alcoholic contents of the glass caused the fire to momentarily rise and fall. At that very moment, her front door busted open, revealing a very disheveled looking Ginny. Her wild red hair and glittering brown eyes rushed to Hermione's side, grabbing her by the forearms and lifting her up onto the old leather couch.

"What in Merlin's name is going on in here?!" she squealed "I come to give you good news and I find you half in the bag, screaming and crying with glass shattered all over your den. Gracious Hermione, what have you done to yourself?"

Hermione looked up into Ginny's brown eyes. _What HAVE I done to myself? _"I just miss them," she sobbed. "I miss, him…" Hermione dropped her head into her hands once more and let the sobs overcome her. Ginny wrapped Hermione up in her blanket that had fallen on the floor, and then coiled her own arms around her friend's shoulders.

"Merlin Hermione. I know it's hard. Trust me, I lost a brother. But it's been over 2 years now. You've got to get yourself together. Maybe you have done as much healing as you can do on your own? Maybe it's time to come home?" Ginny asked, while rubbing Hermione's arms through the blanket, trying to soothe her best friend with all of her ability.

"I just…I can't…I…he will never know! I can't tell him. I can't explain to them what happened. They would never understand. It would ruin him…." She gasped out between sniffing and wiping furiously at her leaking eyes.

"Shush, shush. I know darling. I know…but you could always make something up. Why don't you consider coming home now. Wallowing in a memory, especially someone else's, will do nothing but cause you pain. Come home, Hermione, for Merlin's sake." Ginny quipped, running a hand through Hermione's tear-dampened hair.

"I don't know." She hiccoughed. "I'm not sure I'm ready to face everyone yet."

"You've got to come home soon, even if it's just for a visit. Mum is going to pull out all her hair if she doesn't see you soon, and you know she will blame it all on you. The baldness, that is." She joked.

Hermione let out a small laugh and wiped at her eyes. "Good lord that's a horrible visual!"

Ginny giggled and hugged Hermione. "So good to hear you laugh, 'Mione."

"Sorry for tossing a fit, Gin. Just having a pity-party I guess. Everyone needs a good cry now and again." She said, "Didn't you say you had good news?"

Ginny's eyes sparkled, "Oh! Merlin I can't believe I almost forgot! You were such a sight I completely forgot what I came here for, mum's probably roaming Mungo's ready to lay an egg!"

Hermione stiffened, " Mungo's? As in the hospital? What happened Ginny? How is anything to do with a hospital good news?" Hermione gasped.

Ginny straightened her back and gave Hermione a lopsided grin that made her nervous. "What's black, loud, smelly, and leaves a trail of broken hearts in its wake?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow at her smirking friend, "Ginerva…" she interrupted.

"Oh yes, 'Mione. He's back!"


	2. Chapter 2

Ginny straightened her back and gave Hermione a lopsided grin that made her nervous. "What's black, loud, smelly, and leaves a trail of broken hearts in its wake?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow at her smirking friend, "Ginerva…" she interrupted.

"Oh yes, 'Mione. He's back!"

The last time Hermione had stepped foot into St. Mungo's was a day she would never forget. It was right after the final battle, and amidst the celebrations, she couldn't get the injured faces out of her head. She felt out of place amongst those the mourned loved ones, and those that felt the need to celebrate the new freedom. Hermione's family was safe, and she didn't feel she had the right to mourn another family's loss, or celebrate when so many who she held dear would never grace her day again. So she left the festivities and headed to the magical hospital to check and see what was going on. Most of the survivors had minor injuries, most not even worth getting medical attention for. A simple potion, dreamless sleep draught, or wave of a wand would heal for the time being. Others made their way to the hospital for further inspection.

Hermione had roamed the halls, searching out familiar voices, listening in on the conversations that weren't concealed by silencing charms.

_He will need to stay overnight for observations._

_The test should be back momentarily._

_I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Keirstead, but I'm afraid your daughter was hit with a rather nasty severing hex. We haven't stabilized her yet, but there is plenty hope she will recover with minimal superficial injuries at the very least._

_I can't believe he walked off that field alive, let alone without an arm!_

_We will have the flesh-bond between Mr. Colier and Mr. Wormworth reversed within the hour._

_Please, we don't have any more information at the present time; the healers are still with your brother._

_We did all we could…_

Moving from door to door, she listened, anxious to hear the name of a classmate or wizard from Hogsmead that would give her some solace. Her mind was swimming, or perhaps it was the room? Partial memories of the battlefield attacked her vision, preventing her from seeing the doors and halls in front of her.

She staggered, grasping to catch a wall or bench around her to prevent her from falling. Her eyes filled with stinging tears, and the anxiety that was kept at bay while hexes and unforgivable's whizzed past her head earlier began to move up her spine, stabbing at each vertebrae as if warning her that it was coming out. Her foot caught the leg of a bench and she tripped forward, slamming into the cold, lemon and death scented floor. Hermione shakily propped herself up on one arm, still being bombarded by flashes of color.

"Oh my goodness! Clara! Come quickly, this girl needs help!" came a voice from her left. Hermione lifted her other arm to start getting up, but was quickly grabbed on both sides by two young medi-witches.

"Thanks. I'm ok. Really. I'm fine, I just tripped. But thank you." Hermione choked out, trying to steady herself on her feet. Just as she managed to find some relative footing, the death count reeled in her mind.

_Nymphadora Tonks._

_Severus Snape._

_Remus Lupin…_

Hermione felt the anxiety stab at the back of her throat. Before the count could continue on, she clasped her hand over her throat and dry heaved. Dropping to her knees, she let the spasm painfully overcome her. Her head felt like lead. Fire and ice attacked her senses, and tears streamed down her face to her neck and she continued to spasm. Through her tears, she could see little silver stars moving in around her, coming to take her away. Her eyes drifted, and she thought for a moment that she had melted through the cold floor.

Hermione could smell lemons and strawberry jello. It was a strange scent. There was something else lingering, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. It smelled familiar, like her parents perhaps. Slowly opening her eyes, she realized that it indeed did smell like her parents. She was in a hospital room, lying on an uncomfortable hospital bed, with hospital blankets draped over her hospital gown.

_Hospital gown? Who in bloody Merlin's name put me in this cursed thing?_

"You're awake? Oh wonderful! Here," said the medi-witch she assumed was the aforementioned Clara, "take this potion, it tastes as bad as it smells, I'm afraid. But we have some jello for you to wash the taste away with." She gave Hermione an apologetic smile.

_Bloody hell, she wasn't kidding; it tastes like hairspray and black licorice._

Hermione made a gagging sound, and smacked her lips a few times for good measure. The medi-witch laughed and patted her arm. "Here, eat up. It helps, I promise."

Just then, red hair popped through the door across from her. "Ginny!"

"Oh Merlin! Hermione! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I would ask the same of you, Ginny." Hermione retorted.

Ginny quickly made her way across the room and stood next to Hermione's bed. "May I?" Hermione nodded her approval, and Ginny climbed up to sit next to her. Ginny took her dear friends hand in her own and continued.

"Well when you disappeared, I figured you came to….well…" Ginny's eyes filled up with tears "see who survived." she swallowed hard and closed her eyes tightly to fight back the tears. "I've been frantic. Mum nearly lost it when she saw you were gone, thought maybe you were hurt too, but I told her you were fine. But then I come in here and see you laying in this bed and…oh Hermione! What happened?" Ginny squeezed her friends hand tightly, and Hermione felt as if it might break in two.

"No, Ginny. I'm fine. Really. I came here to see who was injured, but I tripped over a bench and surprised myself. That's all. Please don't worry about me. Go back to your family, I will return soon."

"Oh no you won't, Ms. Granger," quipped the medi-witch they had forgotten was present, "you are in no condition to be leaving here so soon. You need to keep your feet up, let the potion settle, and when the results are back, we will see when you are safe to leave."

"Results? RESULTS FOR WHAT? There is nothing wrong with me!" she cried. Hermione slapped her arms on the sides of the mattress and let out an exasperated sigh. She turned to Ginny, "Really Gin, I'm fine, go back to your family, I will be there in a few minutes, I just need to get dressed."

"Oh no 'Mione! She," Ginny said, pointing at the stern looking medi-witch, "said you need to wait for results and you are not leaving until you get them! I will not have you coming back only to drop dead at….." Ginny grasped at her mouth and tried to choke back her sob, to no avail.

"Oh Ginny." Hermione's heart went out to Ginny. She lost a brother today, her own blood. And here she was worrying about Hermione. She didn't mean to upset her. Hermione wrapped her arms around Ginny and pulled her close. Slowly stroking her hair she let Ginny cry through her stiff hospital gown. The small redhead shivered and shook in her arms and she couldn't help but think that whatever was wrong with her, it better be life threatening or she would have that medi-witch's head on a platter before she left this room.

Hermione felt a chill rush through her. Suddenly, she saw a blue glow from under her blanket, right above her stomach. "What the hell?!" she cried. Ginny squeaked and jumped from Hermione's arms, wiping her eyes and staring at the soft blue light.

"Oh great! The test is done!" exclaimed the medi-witch, who appeared to have lightened up in mere moments. Clara walked over and patted Hermione's hand. "You are free to leave whenever you choose, although I would suggest finishing that jello, and letting yourself rest here for a few minutes. You can take a potion to control the dry-heaves, or you can find a muggle remedy. I recommend mint tea. It's very relaxing, although most would say it's just a psychological thing." Clara giggled. "In any event, you're fine, just take it easy and stop by on your way out at the desk to make an appointment. I would say you should come back in about 3 weeks."

Hermione stared blankly at the medi-witch, and then shook the cobwebs from her mind. "Appointment? What for? You said I was fine. I am fine, right?" Hermione suddenly felt nervous. _What could I possibly need to return here for if I am fine! I feel fine! Nothing is wrong with me!_

As if reading her mind, Clara continued. "My dear, there is no need to worry. You and your child are both fine. Picture of health!" Clara beamed at Hermione and excused herself from the room to fetch her clothes.

Ginny and Hermione stayed in complete silence for what felt like an hour, although it was likely only 10 minutes.

Ginny turned to her fear stricken friend. "'Mione?"

"It's not Ronald's."

_As if my life isn't complicated enough…_


	3. Chapter 3

Ginny and Hermione stayed in complete silence for what felt like an hour, although it was likely only 10 minutes.

Ginny turned to her fear stricken friend. "'Mione?"

"It's not Ronald's."

_As if my life isn't complicated enough…_

"Accio teapot"

Ginny bustled around Hermione's kitchen, trying to find all she needed to brew Hermione a cup of tea to relax her nerves. With a tap of her wand, the water was boiled and a dull hiss came from the spout. She placed the teapot on the tray along with 2 cups and saucers, black tea leaves, milk, honey and sugar, and carefully levitated it back into the living room.

Hermione was still settled into the couch; one hand was holding the blanket to her throat with a death-grip, and the other was occupied in between her teeth as she chewed away at what was left of her nails.

"Oh for heavens sakes 'Mione! Will you ever stop chewing those nails of yours? Men like women with well maintained nails, you know." She added, dipping her wand to show the tray where to pop its legs open and settle gently onto the floor, creating a small tea table.

"Yeah, well, those men can just suck it." She snapped back, letting her forest green eyes tear away from the fireplace and settling down on her empty cup.

Ginny was confused, "Suck what, 'Mione?" she asked, her eyebrow rose slightly in a quizzical manner.

Hermione thought for a moment, and then looked to Ginny. "You know, I don't know." She let out a small giggle, and Ginny joined in. "I never really thought about it to be perfectly honest. Local muggle slang, means they can bugger off." She sniffed away the last remnants of her tears and dipped her spoon into the loose black tea leaves.

Ginny nodded and smiled. "I couldn't find a diffuser, you must keep it well hidden."

Hermione poured the hot water over the leaves slowly, watching as they expanded and danced around in swirls in the rising liquid that was taking on an orange peel shade. "Don't use one. I prefer loose leaves."

"Really?" asked Ginny. "I always thought you used bagged of diffused. Some sort of aversion to divination." She giggled and poured some hot water over her own leaves.

"Yes, well, I've come to appreciate the loose leaves. Makes my last sips stronger." She smiled into her cup as she sipped at the scalding liquid.

Ginny placed her cup back on it saucer. "Listen," she began "you should come back. Even if it's just for a visit." Ginny shifted on the leather armchair, causing it to squeak under her slight weight. "Sirius is going to start asking questions when he wakes up, and I know you have wanted to apologize for years for the way things were between you two. Here is your chance. How many times in your life will you have this opportunity?"

Hermione placed her cup back on its saucer and looked up to meet Ginny's concerned gaze. _Bloody hell, she isn't going to give up, is she?_ "Gin, it's just not that easy. I don't have floo access, and I haven't used magic in over 2 years. It's the middle of the night, and…"

Ginny held up her hand to stop Hermione's impending rant. "Yes. I know all of these things. I come here all the time without a floo. You can side along with me, as you well know I have my license. I know it's the middle of the night, and I am not expecting you to rush to Mungo's right now. I came so that you could have time to prepare to be away for a few days. You can call work and take a week off. I know you haven't used any of that vacation time, and you're the boss there, so it's not like you can't leave when you want to. Your staff will be alright. You will have time to find someone to take care of things here at home while you are away, find someone to cover your shifts. You will need about a week, I'd say, at least. If it were just Sirius, it wouldn't be so bad, but you've been gone for over 2 years, people are going to want to see you. They will ask you questions and if you manage to dislodge my mothers lips from your cheek within the first couple days it will be a miracle."

Hermione laughed at that image. Ginny really had thought about this, it would be difficult to wiggle out of it.

"You can come tomorrow evening. I will come and pick you up. We will go directly to my apartment, you won't have to stay at mum and dads. That will give you some time to…umm….sort out your story, right?" Ginny looked at Hermione with a questioning expression.

Hermione picked up her tea and took another sip. "Yes, that is a definite must." Hermione stared out the window at the darkness. Then it struck her.

"Why is it so important that I be there when he wakes up? Harry is the one he is going to want to see."_ It's my last hope._

"That's not true, not entirely." Ginny scolded her. Hermione grimaced behind her cup, knowing that pissing off the redhead was a bad idea. "You know as well as I do what happened when he fell."

Hermione blanched at the memory. Although she hadn't seen it herself, many of the order who had been there emptied their minds of the memory into a large pensive, designed to take multiple memories of a single action, and mould them into one strong memory. Sometimes the mind makes its own images, but the pensive takes all of the memories, and builds them together to make a strong memory using multiple points that match up between all of them. Much like muggle fingerprinting, she thought at the time. The order intended to use this memory to try and figure out a way to bring him back. Everyone agreed that when he was hit by the killing curse, he didn't immediately die, he merely glazed over and stumbled. It was the veil that took him, and being the mystery that it is, they figured they would give it a shot.

Hermione, in her curiosity one night, dipped her head into the pensive to see if there was something she might be able to research to help. If she couldn't be a part of the order in body, at least she could offer what she had, a mind for research and a talent for thinking abstractly. What she saw, however, shook her so badly that she never told anyone besides Ginny that she snuck a peek. Ginny, being the 'good friend' she was, decided to take a peek as well.

When she pulled back from the memory, she had a look of awe on her face.

"Bloody hell! What was that all about?" she said, her brown eyes sparkling with intrigue.

"How should I know? I wasn't even THERE!" Hermione snapped back.

"We should definitely try and figure it out…" Ginny said, staring at the swirling silvery strands in the bowl

"NO! We can't! Sirius is Harry's godfather…what if…he knows something, what if he knows Ginny?"

Hermione took a long look at Ginny

"There was something very weird about that memory." She continued.

"I agree."

Bellatrix had Sirius in a duel right beside the veil. Everyone was so involved in their own little battles that no one seemed to really notice what was happening. She threw the death curse at him, but for some reason, it didn't immediately kill him.

Sirius' eyes glazed over and he stumbled back, lightly touching the veil. As it began to pull him through, he tried to speak, his eyes swept the room once after he passed through the veil, and his lips ghosted a familiar shape, letting a soft sound escape before he disappeared;

_"'Mione…"_


	4. Chapter 4

Bellatrix had Sirius in a duel right beside the veil. Everyone was so involved in their own little battles that no one seemed to really notice what was happening. She threw the death curse at him, but for some reason, it didn't immediately kill him.

Sirius' eyes glazed over and he stumbled back, lightly touching the veil. As it began to pull him through, he tried to speak, his eyes swept the room once after he passed through the veil, and his lips ghosted a familiar shape, letting a soft sound escape before he disappeared;

_"'Mione…"_

"What…that you have a crush on him?"

"Had."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Have, 'Mione. What does it matter? Don't you want Harry to have the only family he has back? Besides, it's not like you would be the only one who has a crush on him." Ginny smiled roguishly at the picture of Sirius that swam to her minds forefront. _Bloody hell he is devastatingly handsome._ She shook herself back to the present. "Look, if we find a way to get him back, and he DOES know you have a crush on him, I will let him know I have an even bigger crush on him, and take the heat away from you. I don't care if he knows I think he's a babe."

Hermione thought on it for a minute. "You know," she began, ignoring Ginny's offer "the more I think about it, I'm not so sure he knew about my crush on him, or at least if he did, I don't think that's why he said my name when he passed through the veil."

"What do you mean?" questioned Ginny.

"I mean…" Hermione leaned against the table and gathered her thoughts "…he said my name after he had already passed through. Technically, he was already…" she swallowed hard and pressed on "gone."

"Dead men can't speak" continued Ginny.

"Exactly. I mean – and I don't say this to be modest, it's just reality – if he was going to speak a girl's name, why would MY name be the one that he speaks when he goes through the veil, and not some other witches. It's just not rational. He would likely have spoken the name of a loved one, not his godsons annoying little friend who yells at him and calls him irresponsible. Understand?"

"Yes, I do. So what you are saying, is that you believe the reason he said your name after he passed through the veil, has nothing to do with that."

"Precisely." Hermione pushed herself away from the table and began pacing slowly. "He must have had another reason to say my name."

"Well, what reason could it be?"

Hermione rapped her knuckles on the wooden table a few times, and chewed on her bottom lip as she did when deep in thought. Bringing her gaze up to meet Ginny's, she wasn't sure if she had an answer to give to her.

Sure, she had some theories, but they were severely underdeveloped; so much so that her own mind couldn't un-fuddle them, let alone voice them in any manner that would result in Ginny's – or anyone's for that matter – understanding. Something happened when he passed through that veil, something that she knew was important. But what was it? What happened?

"I have no idea."

Hermione sipped her tea slowly, trying desperately to prolong the inevitable question that was written all over Ginny's face. She knew that look. That was the patented Ginerva Weasley 'going to put you on the spot and you haven't a damn thing to say about it' look that she detested so much.

"Don't you want to know?" asked Ginny.

Hermione slowly lowered her shaking tea cup to its saucer, and placed it on the table beside her.

_Of course I want to know! I've been thinking about it for years! What happens behind that veil? Why had he said my name? How was it even POSSIBLE for him to speak once he was gone? Why did his face have that expression on it? That gut wrenching, knowing look. That look that spoke more words than can be counted in the Hogwarts library; that look I knew was meant for me. Why had that look been for me, and not for Harry? But most of all, why do I know that look was meant for me? I wasn't even in the room, but I know it was because of ME!_

Hermione pushed all these thoughts and questions away for the time being with a small shake of her head and sharp intake of breath.

"I do want to know, but I'm frightened." She replied softly.

Ginny reached over the arm of her chair and grasped Hermione's hand to give it a gentle squeeze. "What are you afraid of, 'Mione?"

"Harry. I'm afraid of Harry. Or afraid FOR Harry. I'm not entirely sure." With a quick squeeze back to Ginny's hand, she released it and stood. She walked silently over to the window by the fireplace, and unlocked the shutters. Pushing them open, her eyes fell upon the forested hills. Daybreak would soon arrive. The jeweled tones of the east coast autumn would be illuminated under the sun, and bring with it the hummingbirds, blue jays and white fluffy clouds. Hermione inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of dried leaves and bark. The air was lighter than it was last night, and the grass was relatively dry considering the morning dew.

Ginny knew by the look on Hermione's face that she would continue talking, if she just sat back and let her collect her thoughts. Always the pushy one, Ginny knew her limits. Sometimes it was best to let a person think it through instead of bombarding them with questions. So she did just that. She picked up her wand and tapped the tea pot once again, heating the water back up. Ginny refilled her own cup, then moved over to Hermione's and refilled hers as well.

Hermione ran her fingers along the cream colored lace that adorned the window. She licked her lips and spoke.

"Sirius was everything to Harry. He never really knew his family. When Sirius died, he was devastated. Sure, he still had Remus for a while, but it was never the same. He felt as if Remus was trying to take over Sirius place in his heart, and so fresh after the death of his godfather, he wasn't ready to let someone in like that." Hermione's fingers came across a small hitch in the lace. She pulled it into both her hands and pulled lightly at the string, stretching the fabric and moving it around so that the thread would find its way back home with a little coaxing.

Hermione turned her misty gaze to Ginny. "Remus never wanted that. He never wanted to take Sirius' place. He just wanted Harry to know that he wasn't the only one who felt alone. It's better to be alone with someone else, than to be alone by yourself."

She dropped the fabric and wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her arms slowly as if it would provide some sort of comfort.

"Remus never told Harry just how much he loved James. Sirius was his best friend, by far, but James was like a big brother to him. He used to tell me how wonderful it was to have someone like that in your life, who wasn't related to you, or tied to you in any legal way. Just someone who cared for you, unconditionally. He wanted to be that to Harry. Sirius was family to Harry, he was his godfather. There is no one that can take that place. But he wanted to be for Harry, what James was for him."

"When Sirius died, Remus fell apart. He didn't let anyone know it, but he did. Remus lost the last of his family, and the last of his friends. He was alone, all by his self. That's no way to be. That's when Remus and I became friends. He needed to feel as if his presence was required beyond reconnaissance missions and his ability to research."

Hermione realized that she was drifting off topic, with a wave of her hand, she jumped back in where she left off. "Anyways, Harry wasn't ready for a friend like that. He was still fresh from the loss of his beloved godfather. His hopes for a family had been demolished."

"When Sirius fell through the veil, Harry tried to jump after him. Remus held him back. How do you think it would make him feel to have his godfather back in his life, only to discover that his last thoughts before his untimely death, were of me?"

Ginny was silent. She knew Hermione was right, it would devastate Harry to know that each and every day he thought of how much he missed Sirius, only to discover that when he died, it was not him that was on his mind. Sure Harry had grown up a fair amount since then, and was not as emotional, but something like this could be devastating.

"I'll go." She resigned. "But no one is to know. I want to talk to him with no one else there. If I go back after being away for years, only to request time with Sirius alone, it will spark some questions I don't think I know the answers to quite yet. You understand, don't you?" Hermione threw a sad smile to Ginny.

Ginny smiled brightly. "Of course. I should get back home. I will come by tomorrow at 5 to pick you up. That should give you plenty of time to make preparations." She kissed Hermione on the cheek and made her way to the door. "Tomorrow, then?"

Hermione nodded, and watched as Ginny exited with a smile and a wave.

_Oh Merlin, This is going to be the longest week of my life._

Day was just starting to break over the trees. _5:24 am_. She picked up the tea tray and walked it into the kitchen. Snapping the legs up under it, she placed the tray on the counter, and emptied the tea cups in to the sink, washing down the leaves with the remaining water in the kettle. Deciding against keeping the milk, she poured that down the sink as well. _These dishes can wait until morning._

Making her way down the hall towards her bedroom, she stopped at the door across from her own and leaned against the frame. She rested her head against the wall, and brushed her fingers over the taupe color paint that framed the white-washed door. Closing her eyes, and being as silent as possible, she could almost hear breathing from the other side, deep and peaceful. She shook her head free of her thoughts and opened her own door, forgoing her nightly ritual of washing her face and brushing her teeth in exchange for an extra few minutes of sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

_Ok…once more,_ Hermione thought to herself while running down her mental checklist, _the stove is off, the microwave is unplugged, all potentially perishable products discarded, answering machine is on, lights are off, Crookshanks has food and water for a couple days, there is no water running, garbage laying about, no clothes in the washer or dryer, no curling irons or flat irons left on. I think that's everything._

Hermione felt Ginny approaching, and began pacing in the den. _Just relax, Hermione. You will be staying at Ginny's, and no one will know you are there for another two days. That is PLENTY time to talk to Sirius to make sure everything is ok. Then you will still have 5 days to catch up with the Weasleys and with Harry._

Ginny knocked softly and opened the door. The apprehensive look on her face quickly faded into a brilliant smile as she saw Hermione standing in the den, wringing her hands furiously in her anxiety. Hermione reached down and brushed the front of her green button down shirt to free it from the lint she imagined there. Then she moved down to her tweed slacks and repeated the motion. She inherited this nervous 'twitch' from her mother, according to her father. She preferred to think of it as having the good mind to be sure you look presentable in front of company.

"Ready then?" Ginny beamed, pulling her wand to shrink Hermione's suitcase to the size of a ring box.

"If I said no, would you leave me here?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You know bloody well I wouldn't!" she replied, "Come on, then. Get a move on. You look lovely, by the way. Green really is your color."

"Repeat that in front of your little pet Malfoy and you will find yourself on the business end of a black eye," she giggled in return.

"Business end of a black eye?" Ginny questioned. "Another muggle saying?"

Hermione laughed and nodded her head. Sometimes she forgot how easy it was for her to pick up a piece of muggle slang or saying being a muggleborn. It must confuse other witches and wizards a great deal.

Ginny smirked at Hermione. "You really wouldn't recognize Draco now, 'Mione. I'm telling you he's not the same miserable ferret we knew in school. Now that Voldemort isn't watching his family's every move he's really shown his true colors."

Noticing the grin on Ginny's face at the last comment, Hermione interrupted, "You better not say that color happens to be 'green'."

Ginny let out a cackling laugh at Hermione and opened the door for her. "Come on then, no better time than now to get this over with."

"Right," Hermione nodded, then mumbled to herself, "Merlin, help me."

Ginny's flat was not unlike Hermione's, except that it was only a one bedroom, located two alleys over from Diagon Alley. The walls were made of stone, and the ceiling was charmed to mirror a Cathedral style. The hallways were narrow, and littered with signed pictures from Quidditch players and family portraits. Instead of hanging light fixtures, there were brass wall scones that were charmed to light up as you entered the room, and to extinguish as you exited. _One of the more useful Weasley Wares_, Ginny had commented. Hermione found them comforting, as she remembered seeing fixtures like them at Hogwarts.

The narrow, double-landing staircase led to Ginny's bedroom and its master bathroom, while the main level housed the guest bathroom. Just beyond the entrance and down the hall were a set of French doors that opened up into the den. Contiguously from the den, another set of doors opened to the small dining room. The table was wood, rather antique looking, and could seat four comfortably, six if needed. All the surfaces in the adjoining kitchen were wooden; there was a mini refrigerator that sat on the cupboard in the corner; and across from that stood an old, wood burning stove.

Ginny followed her into the kitchen and hopped up on the cupboard. "Sorry I don't have a proper fridge or stove. I use magic to prepare food and use cooling charms. Dad loaned me his mini fridge this morning … told him I wanted to compare the muggle method to magic," Ginny giggled. "Merlin, 'Mione. He was so proud of me I don't think his smile could have gotten any bigger lest it fall straight off his face!"

_Yes, Arthur sure does like his muggle toys._

"Not too different from magic, I suppose. I used a charm to substitute for actual electricity. Wood for the stove is in the basket at the end of the counter. The cookware is in the bottom cupboards, and dishes and dried goods are in the top."

"I transfigured the chesterfield into a daybed. Linens are in the closet in the guest bathroom. Oh! And before I forget, remind me to charm the door to unlock for your hands. I told mum I would be staying at Harry's flat for the next couple of nights, so we would be together in case there was an emergency with Sirius. There won't be, but you know how worried mum gets, she didn't ask any questions after I told her that. So, there shouldn't be anyone coming through the floo in the next couple of days. I do most of my work and reading in the bedroom, so I installed a small floo in there for firecalls. Harry will be using that to contact me, but I wouldn't worry if he firecalls the den, as he can't see anything until he hears a voice."

Hermione gave Ginny a sad, lopsided smile, "Thanks so much, Gin. This place is rather muggle friendly for a magical flat."

"Yes, well, my father made sure of that. All knowledge is good knowledge, as he says," Ginny giggled at Hermione's dramatic eye roll.

"I'm going to go upstairs and call Harry and see if he would like to meet in Chiplequorkin Alley for an early dinner. That should give you enough time to get settled in and freshened up before we leave. Then you can go to Mungo's and see Sirius. Mum has dad and the boys trapped at the Burrow getting prepared for Sirius' welcome home party. It's a surprise. If all goes well it will be happening in 3 days at the Burrow. Afraid the Black Manor is in a frightful state, since it hasn't been inhabited since Headquarters fell."

"Thank you Ginny. Perhaps a quick shower would do me good. You have a shower? Or just a bath?"

"The guest bathroom has a shower. The master bath is a bathtub. Anytime you need a bath just let me know; you are free to use it anytime. My home is your home," Ginny beamed.

"Thanks Gin. Go on and floo Harry. I'm going to freshen up."

Hermione stepped out of the shower and wrapped a heat-charmed towel around her. _Merlin, I forgot how wonderful it feels to wear a warm towel_. She pulled the shower cap from her head, and knotted her chestnut hair into a plait.

Pulling on the brown slacks and white tank top she brought in with her, she couldn't help but think she looked rather old for her 22 years. Her skin had lost some of its youthful glow and her eyes looked dull – tired. The last few years saw her body change as well. She was no longer a gangly, skinny, little girl; she filled out rather nicely. Except for the single, fading stretch mark to the left of her bellybutton from weight gain and subsequent loss, she was still unblemished. Her hips had filled out a little much for her liking, but nothing drastic. Her chest had actually expanded to the size where she was in need of a proper bra, but found most days that she didn't even bother.

_You are so vain, Hermione. Stop looking at yourself in the mirror._

She shook her head of her silliness and exited the bathroom. Pulling on a pair of brown sneakers she scribbled a quick note to Ginny and headed for the floo in the den.

Grabbing a handful of floo powder, she tossed it to the stones and called out "St Mungo's Hospital!" and walked out of Ginny's flat, hoping she wasn't going to make a fool of herself.

After getting directions to the room where Sirius was being kept, Hermione suddenly became very anxious. Separated by only a door, she was sure if Sirius was awake he could hear her racing heart. Within moments her palms became clammy and she could feel the beginnings of a nervous sweat gathering on her brow.

Hermione straightened her posture and threw her head back, closing her eyes. She took a moment to shake her hands dry of the sweat and counted backwards from 30 to quell her impending panic.

_Relax. Just relax. You've probably just been working yourself up all these years. It's probably nothing. Come to think of it, he might not have even SAID my name through the veil. Maybe Bella's hex hit his leg and he was really saying 'my knee!' or something … as equally as … ridiculous as that. OH BLOODY HELL!_ She slapped herself in the forehead, and realized the sweat had definitely developed. She wiped her brow with the back of her hand and moved to stand in front of the door.

_One step at a time. It's just a door. Just push it and walk through. There's nothing scary about a door._

She reached a quivering hand out and touched the stainless steel plate of the door. Pushing it slowly, she took a soft step into the room. Letting the door close softly behind her, she took in the room. It was the s_ame as always, nothing terrifying about that. Everything is ok_. With a quick intake of breath she let her eyes drift to the hospital bed.

There he was. Looking exactly as he had in the pensieve. His hair looked rather matted, but that was likely due to his stay in the hospital bed. Even through the blanket, she could see the outline of his lean body – sturdy shoulders, long lean arms. He was lying on his left side, his left arm curled up under the pillow under him, and his right snaked up next to his face. His body expanded and contracted with each deep breath. His bow shaped lips slightly open, expelling soft sounds of slumber. Hermione immediately compared the sound to the sigh of the water hitting the shore softly from the window of her east coast refuge. His eyes fluttered softly beneath his ebony lashes.

Wondering if the line on his brow from all those years ago was a product of his constant sadness and worry during the war, or a permanent fixture, she reached out to gently brush back the strands of wild hair that covered the right side of his face.

_How peaceful he looks_, she thought, _I wonder if he is in a dreamless sleep._

Not realizing that her hand still held back his hair, she recoiled. In her haste, she accidentally brushed his shoulder. Sirius seemed to stiffen from her touch, and then with a small yawn he stretched his form across the bed and shifted so he fell on his back against the mattress. His eyes fluttered open slowly. Hermione's heart skipped, and immediately the panic struck her. She didn't even remember walking over to the bed.

After a few tentative blinks from the man in front of her, he seemed to realize he was not alone. A quick scan of his surroundings left his gaze on the terrified looking young witch to his left.

A few seconds had passed in complete silence, only to be broken that sound that haunted her dreams for so many years: "'Mione …"


	6. Chapter 6

After a few tentative blinks from the man in front of her, he seemed to realize he was not alone. A quick scan of his surroundings left his gaze on the terrified looking young witch to his left.

A few seconds had passed in complete silence, only to be broken that sound that haunted her dreams for so many years: "'Mione …"

Hermione could not blink or move for the life of her. Hearing his voice seemed to turn all of her muscles into stone and make her flesh ache as if molten lava coursed through her veins. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Her bottom lip quivered and if something didn't break the silence soon, her impending tears would.

Sirius shifted under the blankets as he slowly lifted himself into a seated position, never once taking his eyes off of the trembling witch before him.

"Goodness, love. It's so wonderful to see you. I was beginning to wonder if you had dropped from the face of the planet. Molly was sure you wouldn't come, said you were too busy with work," Sirius threw her a pathetic smile. He looked rather heart-broken at the idea that she wouldn't feel the need to see him again.

Silence filled the room once more. Hermione fought her anxiety for control, certain that if she spoke too soon she would lose it completely.

"Hermione? Please, love, say something. I'm a little worried, here," he lamely joked. His small chuckle faded in the silence as he took in the sight before him.

Hermione had certainly changed since the last time he saw her. Still rather short, she had gained only a few inches. She looked old for her age, but still very pretty. Her once bushy, dark coconut-cream hair seemed to have tamed, although that could have been because she had it contained. It was now a chestnut color, and soft, barely visable tendrils fell on the sides of her neck and temples. Her once lanky figure had filled out to a comfortable size. She wore minimal makeup, if any at all, and still didn't seem to find any attachment to jewelry, save for a diamond tennis bracelet on her tanned left wrist that had a catholic cross dangling from its clasp. She wasn't a typical beauty by any means, but the fact that she could hex a veela into the next millennium more than made up for her understated beauty.

Determined to get on with her line of questioning, Hermione raised her gaze from a point just beyond the bed to Sirius' eyes. When she locked on with the wizard who seemed to defy death and law, all the questions faded away.

"Sirius …"

Sirius' eyes seemed to sparkle with her acknowledgement of his presence. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled. Hermione responded in kind and softened.

"Oh Sirius, I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner. I just got word of your return last night and I was in NO state to leave the house. Ginny came with news of your return and … it was like … I … oh Merlin!"

Hermione quickly closed the space between her self and the bed and threw herself into Sirius' arms. Hot tears fell from her eyes and dampened his shoulder. The warmth that radiated from her skin eased Sirius' mind and he responded by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her onto the side of the mattress to his left.

Hermione leaned back, leaving her arms around his neck and stifled a sob. She smiled to let him know that she was happy, and, hoped, that would show him she cried tears of joy.

Sirius chuckled and reached a hand up to wipe away the wet streaks on her flushed cheeks. That emotional fifteen year old was still inside her. She may be an adult now, but she had obviously changed. He threw her a wink, telling her that he knew she was happy.

Sirius sighed and decided he would be the first to speak.

"I suppose you have a thousand and two questions for me, don't you?" he quipped.

"No!" she huffed, letting her eyes drift down to her knees, "Only a thousand and one." She finished with a crooked grin.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and threw his head back. It pleased Hermione to see this genuine emotion coming from a man she last saw look like he was losing his only friend with Harry's retreat. He nodded and signaled for Hermione to begin.

"How are you? Are you truly ok?"

Sirius seemed to be taken aback by this question. _How am I? Little Miss Must-Know-Everything has free range to ask any question and she starts with inquiring about my wellbeing? Even Harry waited to ask that one a few down the line from 'How did you get back?'_

_"_Well, I'm fantastic, actually," he answered, "Healers tell me so anyways."

Hermione seemed puzzled by this answer. Sensing her need to know more, he elaborated.

"Apparently, I am in the exact physical shape I was in the night that I fell. Years have passed, but from what I gather, it is common belief that because I was 'dead.' I did not age. Because there was no physical body left behind, I remained in a permanent state of 'life,' as you will."

"But, you were hit. That loon hit you with the killing curse."

Sirius smiled happily at her reference to his dearest cousin by such a fitting name. "Yes, I know. I still don't quite understand it. I remember getting hit. Then I remember feeling very heavy, as if my legs were buckling under me. It all happened quite quickly." Sirius seemed to wilt as he recounted the memory. "I'm not sure if the curse actually killed me. The veil, as you know, is quite the mystery. No one really knows what it does, or how it came to be. There are a few theories as to how I survived, but none are more accurate than the next."

Hermione pondered this for a moment and then questioned, "Would you tell me what they are?"

Sirius nodded. "There is a possibility that I had indeed died before I passed through the veil. All of the people they can account for passing through the veil have done so while alive. The veil takes their life. Perhaps because I was already dead, the veil counteracted, and gave life back to me. There is another possibility that I was not dead, but was at the brink of death due to the curse as I passed through. Being in a half-life, the veil did nothing to me. Because the killing curse is a split-second action, it did not carry."

Hermione's brow furrowed in thought, so he kept explaining, "What I mean, love, is that veil didn't know what to do with me. I was alive, but also I was dead. It was in that exact moment of death that I collided with the veil. The veil became confused and just left me in a state of permanent 'life.' That's probably not the best word, but I think you understand? Well, you obviously know how a curse works. From the wand, it leaves as a surge of temporary energy. The veil had protected me from further deterioration once I was passed through, but the curse the loon sent at me died when it believed it had fulfilled its purpose. In essence it did … it killed me – or so we think – but the veil counteracted it. Does that make sense?"

"Makes perfect sense, in a very non-sensical kind of way," she replied with a short laugh.

Sirius lapped up her joy for a moment. It really was nice to see he was still loved after all these years. "Next question, love?"

"Right." Hermione suddenly realized her arms were still resting around his neck, and she became very aware that his right hand was gently resting on her hip. She removed her arms and chewed on her bottom lip. Hermione raised her eyes to meet his and asked, "How did you get back?"

_I knew that question couldn't be far behind,_ he laughed to himself. "Right. Another toughie. I'm not sure, really. It had something to do with a special pensieve. Shacklebolt was here earlier to explain it to me, but I'm afraid I was still fighting a dreamless sleep draught away. Here is what I know. Not long after I fell, Dumbledore had a friend construct a special pensieve – an experimental piece. It was designed to take multiple memories of a single moment in time, and sort out the correct memories from the incorrect recounts."

"Like muggle fingerprinting," she added.

Sirius looked taken aback. _I should have known she would immediately understand._

"Yes, exactly like muggle fingerprinting," he continued, "They were watching that scene over and over trying to figure out a loophole, something that seemed off."

Hermione blanched … _something that seemed off _…

"Apparently they used some sort of combined charm to lift the memory from the pensieve. They wanted to experiment and climb inside the characters in a safe environment and see if they noticed anything in the recorded movements. The charm either went haywire, or the combinations of charms used molded into a new charm … but … here I am."

"Wow. That's brilliant! But … how come the others didn't return as well? Most of those Death Eaters have since passed. Bella is gone … Mad-Eye, Dumbledore, Tonks … Remus …"

Sensing her distress from those who had passed on, he reached around her and pulled her in for a hug. He held her for a few moments in silence before he spoke again.

"I know, love. I'm not sure why they didn't come back. Perhaps because I was the only one that died in that particular scene? Perhaps because I was the only one who was in a half-life, not quite dead yet not quite alive? There are many possibilities. Unfortunately, I don't think we will ever know for certain," Sirius reached up and rubbed his eyes with one free hand.

Hermione immediately felt a pang of guilt. _Of course he missed them too! Dumbledore was like a father to him, Tonks was his cousin, and Remus was his best friend in the whole world …You're a right foul git Hermione. How could you be so insensitive?_

"Shush, love. It's not your fault. We can both miss them. I would never deny you to grieve a loved one," he added, testing the waters.

Hermione stared up into Sirius' eyes. There was that look, again – that all-knowing look. She trembled under his touch. Sirius never broke eye contact with his little witch, hoping she would take her cue and continue once she built up the nerve.

Figuring she may as well get this part over with, she asked her next question, "Sirius … what did you … see?"

Sirius looked at her questioningly for a moment. Perhaps she didn't know. He continued, "Nothing really. I was there, but I wasn't really … It was like …" before he could finish, Hermione cut in.

"No Sirius. I didn't mean what you physically saw inside the veil." She took a deep breath, counted to three, and clarified, "When you passed through, something happened. No one seemed to notice, or if they did they didn't think it very important … you spoke my name, through the veil, Sirius."

Sirius closed his eyes and slowly nodded, "I know."

"Why did you speak my name? I've been thinking about it for years. I wasn't even in the room! Harry was standing right next to you; I figured he would be the last person on your mind when you passed …"

"He was. As I passed through all I could think about was Harry …." he mumbled, "… but once I had … passed … things appeared in my mind. It was kind of like a flash … forward? Things that couldn't be seen due to my death appeared before my eyes, as if they were old memories that surfaced all at once. They were all the memories of the years ahead, but nothing beyond now. It was like the veil knew I wouldn't be a permanent resident."

Hermione feared this next question most of all, "What did you see?"

"You. Surrounded by colors. Beautiful colors. You looked different, but not too different. I knew it was you. You were laughing, but your eyes were sad. You were holding firecrackers and they shot up into the night sky one after the other from a weird wand-like stick. There were reds, greens, and blues. It was spectacular. You were angled, as if I was watching you from behind. Then, you turned slightly to the left. Every few moments you would look down to your left and smile or laugh. I couldn't really see what was there. It was quite dark. You held the firecracker in your right hand, brandished high like a wand in battle. Your left hand rested down to your side, as if you were holding something. Then a yellow spark erupted from the wand, and it lit up the surroundings just for a moment. It was then I saw it. I saw what you were holding in your hand," Sirius took a deep breath, "I saw WHO you were holding."

Hermione's expression did not waver. She looked into his eyes as if this was what she expected to hear from him. Feeling slightly braver from the fact that Hermione had not yet hexed him or broken down in his arms, he pushed a little farther.

"'Mione? Whose little hand were you holding?" he quizzed.

"Lysander. His name is Lysander," she answered. Barely in a whisper, she answered his last question before he could ask.

"He's my son."


	7. Chapter 7

"'Mione? Whose little hand were you holding?" he quizzed.

"Lysander. His name is Lysander," she answered. Barely in a whisper, she answered his last question before he could ask.

"He's my son."

Hermione pulled a chair up next to the hospital bed and sat, waiting for Sirius to continue. _Surely, he must have questions. _

Sirius sat in silence for a few select moments. He had a great fondness for this little witch sitting next to him. She was not the kind to get into trouble without good reason. Then again, he hadn't seen her grow up these last 6 years. _She certainly changed physically; I suppose it wouldn't be a far stretch for her to change internally as well._

Sirius didn't quite know where to begin, so he chose the question he knew he really wanted her to answer.

"Will you tell me about him? What is he like?"

Hermione smiled. _Definitely not the question I expected to be asked first. _

"Well, he's two and a half years old. He has my hair and green eyes. He likes peanut butter cookies and vanilla ice cream best. Not a chocolate fan, but if you hide the chips into his cookies he doesn't even notice. He has a guppy named 'puppy,' but I've never really figured out if he calls it that because he just can't say 'guppy' or if it's because I bought him a fish when he really wanted a dog," she laughed at Sirius' amused expression.

"He calls me 'Mione, or something really close. Yet again, it could be because he can't really say 'mummy' yet. He's quiet, but I don't suppose he had much of a chance considering I'm not the most social creature anymore. He likes the same music as I do and dances to the radio. He used to hate baths until he discovered how much fun it is to splash mummy. He shakes his hair like a dog when he is wet. He doesn't understand mirrors, so sometimes he talks to them, thinking his reflection will respond. Then when the reflection does exactly as he is doing, he gets pissed off that he is being interrupted. Confrontations with mirrors usually end up in hissy fits. He doesn't like toys. He prefers sticks, rocks, and puddles. He loves the forest, and pretty much anything to do with the outdoors. I suspect he will be rather shy when he gets older, but only time will tell."

Sirius smiled and couldn't help but think that this little boy sounded exactly like what he had expected. _All boy, he is_, he chuckled to himself. His thoughts drifted to when he was a younger man, about the same age as the witch beside him. Those days he would spend with James and Lily out for picnics or just a day in the outdoors. Sirius would hoist little Harry up onto his shoulders, taking in the sunshine as the little boy giggled and clapped his hands "_'Gain! 'Gain!" _he would exclaim, as Sirius whirled them in circles until they became too dizzy to stand. They would flop down into the cool afternoon grass and laugh until the sillies drifted away. Harry would always find sticks and clumps of dirt to play in, but puddles were his favorite. Sirius would transform into his animagus form and roll around in the puddles and dirt for Harry's amusement. Lily would scold Sirius for getting her darling boy all filthy, and James would stand behind her, throwing him a wink that said _she's secretly laughing at you_.

Sirius reached out and grasped Hermione's hand. He held her soft gaze for a few moments, hoping she didn't notice the mist that shadowed his eyes and threatened to spill hotly down his cheeks.

Hermione knew Sirius needed her comfort right then. She didn't dare hug him, for it was most certain he would crumble in her arms. _It's been so long since I've felt this close to a man; if he broke down I don't think I could handle it._

Sirius fought back his tears and regained control of his emotions. With a gentle squeeze to the young witch's hand, he smiled.

"He sounds wonderful."

"He's my world," she replied, "He's all I have." Despite her beautiful words, the sadness that lingered behind them showed in her eyes.

Sirius knew all to well what she was talking about. He had spent the worst years of his life, desperately fighting to stay alive and sane for the sake of his beloved godson. Sirius was more thankful for Harry's mere existence than he could ever put to words. Twelve years he spent in Azkaban, in complete torment. He never once let his mind linger too long on that sweet, giggling little boy with the glittering green eyes. No, he would not allow those foul creatures to get their decaying hands on that particular memory. His familial bond with that precious little boy was so intense that Sirius felt as if Harry would feel the Dementors pull from across the crashing waters. He had failed Harry in every other way, and this silly little act was all he could do for the child for the time being.

Hermione entwined her fingers with Sirius' and pulled his hand up to her mouth for a gentle kiss. She wrapped her free hand around their joined ones and rested her cheek against the skin of their hands.

Sirius felt his heart melt at the little witch's gesture. As much as he wanted this moment to continue, he felt he had not gotten all the information she would afford him.

"'Mione, love? Where is the little tyke?" he rubbed his thumb against the side of her hand in a soothing manner.

"Back home. I have a muggle cousin with a 5 year old. She offered to look after him for a bit while I was away. I pick him up on Saturday," she answered.

"Ah. I see. Didn't want to travel with him?" he pressed.

Hermione stiffened. _I guess he doesn't know __everything__ that happened these last 6 years?_ Taking a deep breath, she turned her eyes to his and continued.

"Listen, Sirius. There are some things that I am afraid you don't know. I don't want to put you on the spot here, but I would like to ask for your word that this conversation we have tonight will not go beyond the two of us. Things are a little messy right now, and I haven't figured out how to fix them."

"Of course, love. But if you don't mind my asking, what exactly is this mess?"

Hermione released Sirius' hand and leaned her forearms on her thighs, drumming her fingers together while never taking her eyes from the wizard. With a sigh, she ran her hands over her hair and slumped back in the chair.

"No one knows about my son. The only person I kept in direct contact with since the final battle was Ginny, and, to be honest, that's only because the nosy little thing hunted me down. She refused to let me be, and now I am thankful for it. It was never my intention to leave England forever, just long enough to get myself together. Unfortunately, it appears to be taking a little longer than I anticipated. Ginny has been privy to some of my better-kept secrets. Due to the nature of that moment you saw when you passed through the veil I think letting you in on my secrets wouldn't be such a bad thing, seeing as you already know most of them," she joked.

"Like I said, no one knows about Xander. There are still some unresolved … issues … concerning him," she continued.

Sirius knew this was a very uncomfortable topic for Hermione, but he knew if he didn't press the little witch for more information now she would never tell him.

"You mean, there are unresolved issues about … his father?"

Hermione stiffened at the sound of that word: _Father. Lysander's father_. She inhaled sharply and replied, "Yes. When everyone finds out about my boy, they will want to know who the father is. I'm not sure I can tell them. The father doesn't even know about him." She reached up and wiped the single tear that escaped her sad eyes.

Sirius' heart ached. The once strong and sturdy little witch was in considerable emotional pain. She was clearly heart broken. Very few circumstances would cause that look to appear on the face of such a brave and intelligent witch. Sirius hated himself for hurting her, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Remus," he said, not even aware that he said it aloud.

_Remus._

Hermione felt the anxiety creep back up her spine. Her hand shot up and covered her mouth to try to absorb the sob that threatened to escape. Her eyes filled with hot tears, and she shook gently as she fought for control of her emotions. Her psychological state was crumbling under Sirius' anticipation.

Hermione nodded her head. Remus was her child's father. She never had the chance to tell him.

Monday morning saw Sirius Black's release from the hospital. Harry escorted Sirius back to the four-bedroom cottage he bought with his inheritance. He had thought about selling the Black home after the final battle, but could not go through with it. Although it was too painful for him to step foot inside, the thought of losing that last bit of his godfather was too much to bear. So instead, he left it alone. If it could not be inhabited by Sirius, it would not be inhabited by anyone.

Harry insisted that Sirius return to his flat with him and stay there at least until Molly got her hands on the Manor and cleaned it up; at most, until the end of both of their natural lives. Sirius was considering it; Grimmauld place held no good memories for him save for the few moments he shared with Harry. Even the presence of the Order did nothing to pacify him. That was just business and anything that revolved around Voldemort's reign wasn't pleasant. Sirius would stay with Harry for a while, and then perhaps find himself a little one bedroom somewhere nearby so that he wouldn't be far from the family Harry was sure to establish for himself.

Harry's flat was perfect. It was a fixer-upper, for certain, but it was lovely. It was not far from Diagon Alley, located in a newly designated magical neighborhood. The home was muggle, with all the electrical hookups and plumbing, and designed in that 'muggle' fashion. Ceramic tiled floors, marble countertops that sparkled when polished and wood used only as decorative accents as opposed to the magical worlds use of wood as a staple to all furniture, flooring and surfaces.

A few years ago, this part of muggle England was evacuated due to "contagious disease." What the muggles did not know was that the 'contagious disease' that plagued their neighborhood was in fact Dementors under the control of Voldemort. Harry bought one of the houses in that neighborhood and had a floo installed. Its overhaul had come a long way in the last year, but Harry was finding renovation charms more difficult than the simple construction charms he had learned.

Harry gave Sirius the grand tour, and showed him where he would be staying. Off the back porch, there was another door, which led to a small one-bedroom apartment. The door opened up directly into the den, which also served as the dining room. The kitchen had an island bar that opened up into the den, and there were two stools tucked nicely underneath. The living room had a green chesterfield with gold trim and a matching armchair. The kitchen was equipped with a small fridge and electric stove. Through the archway to the left of the kitchen, a small hallway led to the bathroom. It had no bath, only a standing shower, and a freestanding sink and wall mounted mirror next to a toilet. It was rather small, but Sirius didn't mind. The bedroom was next to the bathroom, decorated in blue and silver.

On the far wall, the four-poster bed with black satin curtains tied back with silver rope sat. He reached out and touched the sheets. _Egyptian cotton_. The walls were decked out with iridescent Persian blue wallpaper that had silver twills and trills running through it. Next to the bed was a rather old looking mahogany stationary desk, which was ready for use. On the top shelf stood a muggle cordless phone, and a small bowl of owl treats.

Across the bed on the other side was a large walk-in closet. The doors opened up into the room, and were a matching mahogany wood, each door with a full-length mirror constructed onto it. Sirius opened the doors and found the closet already largely stocked with an assortment of clothing. Velvet and corduroy dress robes, tweed slacks, silk and cotton shirts and jackets in a variety of jeweled tones. On the other side of the closet was a smaller assortment of muggle clothing: fleece pullovers, cotton t-shirts, jeans, a couple hoodies and some khaki pants. Sirius turned to face Harry, his mouth twisted up in a grin.

"I went shopping last night before Ginny and I had dinner. I've never seen you in muggle clothes so I didn't really know what to pick. I just grabbed the types of stuff I wear. If you don't like them, I can bring you shopping this afternoon. The wizarding clothing I just picked out by picturing myself in them. If I looked like an arrogant, pompous ass I bought them," Harry finished with a snigger.

Sirius threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter. He clapped Harry on the shoulder and then mock strangled him. Both men broke out into laughter.

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it - you miserable little git - you did well," Sirius replied with a wink.

Harry beamed with pride. He was so pleased to have Sirius back in his life. All he wanted to do was make his godfather smile. The man had seen so much torment in his life. Nobody would blame him if he never smiled again, but here he was, standing in Harry's guest quarters cracking jokes and horsing around with him like they were the best of old friends.

Harry smiled, "Thanks, Sirius. Do you like the bedroom?"

"Do I like it? Merlin's beard, Harry! The room is fantastic! You don't expect to see something like this in a muggle house," he answered dramatically, waving his hand over the furnishings in his line of vision, as if he were close enough to touch them all.

"Well, I wanted you to have somewhere peaceful to retreat to. Somewhere elegant that didn't remind you of Grimmauld Place. Afraid I haven't had time to finish the rest of the apartment; this part of the house was untouched until few days ago. The furnishings aren't complete yet. I haven't determined if the fireplace is suitable for use, and the chesterfields I designed shouldn't be ready until tomorrow or the next day. The shop will floo them over when they are completed," Harry added.

Sirius nodded. "It's perfect, Harry. Please don't put yourself out. A warm bed and a hot shower would have been more than I could ever want," he replied.

"Nonsense. You're family, and my family gets the best. Although I must say, you are much easier to please than Mrs. Weasley. She put up quite the fight when I gave Arthur that DVD player. You would have thought I was trying to give her the Hope Diamond the way she went on about it being 'too expensive' and how I should 'save for a rainy day.'" He laughed.

Sirius cocked up one of his eyebrows, "Dee Vee Dee Player? Some sort of muggle sportsman?"

Harry laughed, "It's a muggle picture projector. Like a pensieve, except instead of actual memories you can watch a story like you would read from a book. I have one in the main den; I'll show you how to use it later. It's quite simple actually."

Sirius nodded and smiled, giving Harry's shoulder a gentle squeeze, "That would be nice."

Harry continued, "Besides, I thought a nice room would be good for you in case you want to bring a lady-friend home. Can't very well have 'The' Sirius Black bringing a lovely lady back to a pull out couch and a beer fridge." He laughed.

Sirius laughed at his godson, "My dear boy, you mustn't believe everything you hear about me. Despite my reputation, I am not a ladies man. An excessive flirt, yes, but there are actually very few ladies I have spent any 'quality time' with. But keep that little bit of information to yourself! I do have a reputation to uphold."

Harry clapped his godfather on the back and laughed, "No problem. Your secret is safe with me." He finished as Sirius threw him a mischievous wink. "Oh … I wasn't sure what size clothes you wore, so I just bought everything in medium. Figured you could just transfigure them to your own size, or change the color if it doesn't suit."

"That's fine. Thank you, Harry, for everything. You're a good boy. I don't think I could go back to the Manor just yet. There doesn't need to be any ghosts in a house for it to haunt you," he added softly, his words almost trailing completely away.

Harry knew what he meant. He never grew up in Grimmauld Place, but always felt like he was walking through an unsettled graveyard when he stepped foot in there. Ever since that day they discussed the family tapestry and Harry saw the look in his godfather's eyes when he told him that it was James' home that he ran away to, he felt as if each breath he took within those walls was one closer to the walls enclosing on him. How anyone could be so cruel to the wonderful man who stood beside him was beyond him. Sirius was the best of men. He loved his friends, cared not for his wealth or status, and would die to protect a loved one.

_He did. He died to protect me. This is the least I can do; it is the least I will do. I can't erase his past, but I can certainly help him find happiness._

Not able to hold himself back any longer, Harry closed the gap between himself and Sirius and pulled the taller wizard into a fierce embrace. Six years it had been since the last time he was able to do this. This time, there was no lingering fear inside this act that there might not be a next time, that the next moment could be their last, and that they would never see each other again. This time, all that was felt was familial love, that comfort that only could be expressed this way. Sirius wrapped one arm around his godson's back, and the other patted him lightly on the back of the head. After a few more moments, he moved his hands to Harry's shoulders and gently pulled himself away.

"Thank you, Harry. You're a good man. Your father would be … so proud."

Harry beamed at Sirius, and wiped away the single tear of joy that found its way to his cheek. Just then his eyes lit up and he ran from the room with a 'Don't move!' thrown from over his retreating shoulder. Sirius took a deep breath and took in his room once again. _It really is lovely. Perfect, really_.

A moment later Harry ran back into the room, holding a small stack of parchment and a scroll tied up with a red and gold bow. Harry's smile was so bright it caused Sirius to smile in return, for no good reason. He held the parchments out to Sirius, who took them, but did not examine their contents.

"What is this, Harry?"

"The stack of parchments is the will you left me. Everything is still in my name, but I went to Gringotts this morning and put everything in motion to have it returned to you. I have more than enough money in the Potter vault. I daresay I couldn't spend it all if I tried. The top parchment is notice to revoke your certificate of death," he spurted out.

Sirius brought his hand up to touch the ribbon that held the scroll together.

Harry beamed while proclaiming, "Those are your Freedom Papers."


	8. Chapter 8

_Remus skated circles around Hermione. Normally she would have been impressed, but given the circumstances, it was quite irritating. He was all decked out in his Christmas finest: Red fleece pullover with a front pocket, genuine Molly Weasley goldenrod colored scarf, fleece-lined blue jeans, and a pair of shiny black ice skates. He looked rather handsome, actually, but the fact that this 'sport' came so easily to him was the reason why Hermione was cursing loudly to herself as she wobbled across the pond._

_Her white winter jacket was causing her neck to itch, her khaki pants were caked in snow and ice bits, her mittens felt constricting and her skates seemed as if they needed to be sharpened. In all honesty, there was nothing wrong with anything she wore; it was just easier to curse herself, than at the wizard who had never looked so handsome with that brilliant smile plastered across his face and new muggle haircut that made him look about 10 years younger._

"_Come on, love! Keep up!" Remus exclaimed, stopping just short of the little witch and spraying her with more ice. _Fantastic

"_Remus John Lupin! You miserable asshole! How dare you spray me! Can't you see I am about three ass-plants away from looking like the abominable snow beast?" she screeched. _

_Remus laughed gaily and taunted Hermione by skating just in front of her, gliding backwards with such ease and giving her the 'bring it on' hand motions. _Bloody git. _Hermione quickened her pace and charged at him. In response, Remus slid his hands into his pocket and continued gliding backward across the ice, while watching the flustered, little witch as she wobbled unsteadily towards him. She, in turn, was tossing around obscenities that would make Mrs. Black's portrait cry tears of pride. _

She really is quite beautiful_, he thought. Her cheeks were flushed pink form the crisp afternoon air, and her hair gleamed under the sunlight. Her mitten-clad hands were balled up in frustration and every couple of seconds her expression changed from anger to fear as she fought to remain on her skates._

_Using his distraction to her benefit, she pushed herself a little farther and caught up with him. "AHA!" she exclaimed, grabbing the arm of his pullover. Just then, she hit a chip in the pond's ice, and with an "Oh FUCK!" as her feet slid out from under her, causing her to topple ass first onto the ice, pulling a startled Remus down on top of her._

_Once they had both caught their breath, they began to laugh. Remus bent down and kissed the tip of her nose before pushing off of her and falling to his own back to her left with an "Oomph!"_

_Hermione wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and turned her head to look at the wizard next to her. His new muggle haircut was flecked with shaved ice and his cheeks and ears were kissed with the December air. His right arm was tucked up under his head and his left was lying across his chest. His lips began to move, but she was only vaguely aware of the words that he was saying. He was staring up at the clouds, smiling as he spoke. Without thinking, Hermione flipped over so she was laying half on top of him and kissed him roughly on the mouth. He tasted sweet, like maple syrup. Suddenly realizing what she was doing, she pulled away so that their faces were separated by only a few inches. Remus stared up into her eyes with an expression she had never seen before. His brilliant amber eyes drifted down to her mouth, and before she could make her excuses, he grabbed the back of her head and brought her lips back home. _

_Hermione had never been kissed like this before. Remus slowly rolled them over so he was lying on top of her. His lips glided over hers expertly, setting fire to every particle of her being. He lowered himself down on her slowly, his thigh finding its way between hers. She sighed into his mouth as his left hand trailed down her side, all the way to her hip and back up again. Remus' tongue danced across her lips, and Hermione responded by parting them and allowing his tongue access to the velvet heat that rested just beyond. She groaned and arched her back, pressing herself into Remus' growing arousal. He inhaled sharply, breaking the kiss. His heart was racing and coherent thoughts were drifting farther and farther away with each touch and caress. Remus stared down into Hermione's chocolate brown eyes, asking a silent question he hoped she would understand. She wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him against her, kissing him softly on the lips in response._

_Remus wasted no more time. He pulled his wand from his pants pocket and apparated them away._

Hermione sauntered into the kitchen of Ginny's flat. The redhead had just received a floo from Harry saying that Sirius was a free man, and he wanted her to come out with them to celebrate. Ginny wanted Hermione to come with them, but the older witch explained that Sirius' freedom celebration could possibly be overshadowed by her own return; Ginny agreed that now was not the best time. She did, however, make Hermione promise to attend the welcome home party on Wednesday.

The fireplace in Harry's den flashed green, and out stepped an excited looking Ginerva Weasley. She smiled brilliantly and quickly closed the gap between herself and Sirius, pulling him into a big hug.

"I'm so glad for you, Sirius!" she exclaimed, planting a kiss on each of his cheeks and hugging him again.

"Oi!" Harry joked from behind, as he watched his beautiful, little girlfriend showering his laughing godfather with affection, and then asked, "How come you don't greet me like that?"

Sirius chuckled and let the little witch slide out of his arms. She turned to face the messy-haired boy and said, "Because you didn't come back from the dead!"

"Oh yes I did! And I wasn't taken out by some crazy loon either, I was murdered by the Dark Lord himself, not his love sick little floozy!" he threw back.

Ginny looked confused for a moment, then she realized that Harry actually DID come back from the dead. "Right … well … anyways …"

Sirius roared with laughter and clapped his godson on the back. "C'mon mate. She can't help it. I AM devastatingly handsome, and rich to boot."

Harry raised his left hand, "Uh …me too?"

"Oh Merlin! You boys going to keep this pissing contest up or am I going to be celebrating alone?"

"No worries, love. Harry and I just have a few years of teasing to catch up on. But now that I think of it, we also have a few years of drinking to make up for as well," he replied with a quick glance at his watch. "You two go on ahead and get us a table and some drinks. I'm just going to change out of these travel clothes and will be right behind you."

Harry nodded, and steered Ginny towards the floo. With a flash they were off, and not a moment later, Sirius was too.

Hermione was startled by the distinct 'whoosh' of the floo in the den. She spun around on her heels and came face to face with a quickly approaching Sirius Black.

"Siriu--"

Before she could finish, he pulled her into a fierce embrace. He held her there, stunned, for a few moments before he started laughing gaily into her chestnut tresses. She could feel the heat radiating from him, warming her heart. _He's a free man now._

With his arms still wrapped around her, he quickly lifted her from the floor and spun her around. Hermione giggled at his excitement. He dropped her feet back down to the ground and then without thinking, he planted a scorching kiss on her lips. Hermione dropped the wooden spoon she was holding, and her eyes fluttered shut. She suddenly felt her back bump up against the countertop. Sirius lifted her up effortlessly and sat her down on the wooden surface, never once breaking the kiss. His hands glided up to cup her cheeks and he settled himself between her parted legs. His mouth left hers for a moment, and immediately her lips felt cold. Their hot breath mingled, and Hermione felt her heart race as Sirius slowly brushed his lips against hers teasingly.

"'Mione …" he whispered against her bruised lips before taking them again in a passionate display. Their tongues danced together, tasting and exploring each other. Instinctively, Hermione grabbed Sirius by his belt loops and pulled him closer, feeling his arousal grind against her own. She moaned into his mouth, as her sex pulsed in time with her racing heart. Achingly, Sirius broke the kiss, leaving a trail of little nips down to her jaw and back up to her temple. He rested his forehead against hers and whispered, "Celebrate with me."

The reality of her situation came rushing back to her. The notorious Sirius Black, the man whose sparring sessions with her had left her crying herself to sleep on more than one occasion was dancing his fingertips across her ribs. He had just kissed her so passionately that she had forgotten whose lips belong to whom, which tongue belong to which mouth, but worst of all, it felt _good_. She sighed and leaned back on the hanging cupboard and said, "I can't."

Sirius exhaled a breath he hadn't known he was holding in and nodded. "I know," he said before kissing her passionately once more. He slammed his hand against the hanging cupboard beside her face and let out a joyous _WHOOP_!

"I'm a **free man**! A _**free man**_, Hermione!" he exclaimed before laughing maniacally and punching the air as he made his way back over to the floo. He shot a wink to the flustered witch and flooed out of Ginny's flat.

Hermione stared at the space Sirius had just vacated. Her hands felt empty where she was just holding him and her lips cold and empty. Her heart had since calmed, but felt as if burning embers in her chest threatened to set her on fire should she move and disturb them. She closed her eyes once more and sighed, "I can't."

_Hermione sighed and rolled over to face the man lying next to her. Remus was flushed. He stared up at the canopy, tracing the small beams of light that seeped through with his eyes. Hermione rested her head on his chest and ran her delicate little fingers through the sparse blond hair that tickled them. She knew they let their emotions get the better of them, but she honestly didn't care._

_Remus began to hum a slow tune and let his fingers dance down her spine. She giggled, causing Remus to smile and turn his gaze towards her. He took in the sight of her beautiful, flushed face for a few moments before it turned quizzical._

"_What is it love?" he asked._

"_It's nothing …really," she began, "I guess, I just never noticed that you had green eyes before."_

_Remus stared at her for another moment before realizing that she was being serious. "What?"_

_She reached her hand up, traced a finger along his brow and said, "Your eyes, they are green."_

_Remus took a deep breath and stared at the confused looking witch in his arms. He replied, "So are yours."_


	9. Chapter 9

"BLOODY! FUCKING! HELL!" she screeched. To say she was pissed off was an understatement. She was livid; almost murderous. Her usually rational mind had slipped away on her, and she was breaking every single thing in Ginny's flat in an attempt to find it.

Sirius had kissed her. _No, not true, _she thought_, Sirius snogged the hell out of me and I LET HIM. _

After he left her, all hot and bothered, she was stunned. She was turned on. She was shaking, and she was freaking out. She searched the kitchen frantically for liquid courage, and finding none, she settled for perking some coffee. It would have to do. _Bloody Ginny. What self-proclaimed party girl doesn't have a happy-juice stash in her flat anyways?!_

Setting up the percolator, she went on a search for coffee grinds. In the back of the cupboard above her, her shaky hands found a small silver tin that housed coffee beans. _Beans. Bloody beans!_ Tears welled up in her eyes, and with an exasperated huff she wiped them away impatiently and went in search of a coffee grinder. Finding only a manual grinder with an attached crank, she cursed viciously under her breath and poured the '_bloody_' beans into the top bowl.

"Git! Loathsome! Fucking idiot!" she cursed as she brutally swirled the crank. In her blinding rage, she ripped the crank straight off of the grinder. _Breathe, Hermione. Breathe_. Taking a deep breath she dropped the crank on the wooden countertop and dumped the contents of the grinder out beside it. Hermione puffed out her cheeks in frustration and ran her shaky hands through her untamed hair as she paced the kitchen quickly, trying to figure out her next step.

Stopping just short of the stove, she found her weapon of choice; the meat tenderizer. An evil glint flashed across her forest green eyes as the corners of her mouth twitched up into a wicked grin. Grasping the large tenderizer, she stalked up to the pile of dark beans on the counter, twirling the heavy utensil between her slender fingers. With a small grunt, she swirled it around, and smashed it directly on top of the beans. A satisfying 'crunch' met her ears, and the smell of fresh Cuban coffee wafted up to her as bit and particles of the beans flew out from under the mallet.

"God damned fool! Foul pureblood wanker!" she spat as she tossed the mallet across the counter and pulled the magically altered percolator towards her. Amidst her cathartic obscenities, she heard the distinct 'whoosh' of the floo for the second time in the last 10 minutes.

"Pureblood wanker? You surely don't mean me?" came the distinctive drawl that never failed to set her blood ablaze.

Hermione grabbed the glass coffee pot beside her and spun around to face her intruder. Draco Malfoy stood no more than 20 feet from her, head tipped down as he inspected the cuff of his long green robes. His long blond hair had been pulled back into a ribbon; much like his father chose to wear his hair so often. His formerly pale skin had donned a soft golden glow over the years, which made the light dance off of his chiseled features and perfected angles, giving the impression that his bloodline could be traced back to Spartan royalty.

She felt the air around her crackle with magic. Her hair seemed to snap and move in tune with her increasing temperature and her green eyes flashed dangerously.

"GET THE FUCK OUT, FERRET!" she screeched.

Draco was stunned. He took in his surroundings; smashed pictures and trinkets littered the floor, chairs were upturned, and his head throbbed from the unstable magic in the room that was attacking his own magical energy. He lifted his eyes, seeking to attach the strangely familiar voice to a face.

"Granger?!" he exclaimed, realizing the source of the verbal venom was the crazed little witch he went to school with who was staring daggers at him now. "What the hell?"

Dozens of questions flooded his mind, but he never got the chance to ask them. Hermione drew back her arm and hurdled the coffee pot directly at the stunned Slytherin. Draco managed to duck just in time - the pot just barely missing him and smashing loudly on the stone fireplace - but he stumbled and landed flat on his backside, his wand rolling away from his grasp.

Hermione drew in a deep breath and let out an ear-piercing screech. Her hands balled up in fists, and the entire room pulsated and groaned from her uncontrolled energy. Draco frantically began to scramble backwards, desperate for escape. He didn't survive the Dark Lord only to be murdered in his friend's apartment by a little witch with a particularly bad case of PMS.

Making it back to the place where his wand had fallen, he grasped it and apparated away quickly, Hermione's wild screeches of profanity fading away as his essence searched for somewhere less dangerous to collect itself for the time being.

Hermione's wide eyes took in her surroundings. _I really did a number in here didn't I?_ The living room appeared to have been inhabited by a muggle frat party, and the kitchen was no better with the broken dishes and busted muggle appliances. Turning her gaze back to the spot where Malfoy had just exited, she realized how comical the situation actually was. She hadn't seen that look on his face since third year when she punched him in the nose. There was no doubt that she scared the little ferret; she scared herself a little to be honest. She stepped slowly through the doors separating the dining room from the den, hearing the crunching of bits of glass and ceramic rubble under her sneakers.

With a sigh, she began to pick up the mess she had made of her temporary home.

_'**Cause the old black rum's got a hold on me**__**  
**__**Like a dog wrapped round my leg**__**  
**__**And the old black rum's got a hold on me**__**  
**__**Will I live for another day?**__**  
**__**Hey, Will I live for another day?**_

Ginny laughed and clapped along as the boys sang loudly to the drinking music pumping through the bars magical speakers. Harry was so happy; his beer stein brandished high with foam spilling overtop, his eyes closed as he yelled along to the music, fist banging on the wooden table top. Sirius was standing upright in front of his chair with his mug held high in his left hand, his right placed over his heart, singing along with Harry. A swarm of witches and wizards alike were gathered around their table singing along with the happy duo and clapping in tune with Ginny. George was showing Ron his newest Weasley Ware; a dissolving 'Weasley Glamour' pill that could be dropped in a lovely ladies drink, causing her to appear to have comical deformities. Their latest victim was the unfortunate recipient of a glamour George fondly referred to 'Dementors Bride' which made their skin appear a ghastly grey color, their eyes sunken, and gave the impression that the recipient hadn't eaten a good meal in about four decades.

Ginny grimaced at the poor girl. She almost considered telling her that perhaps she should look in a mirror, but the thought was quickly dispelled when she heard the girl scoff at the bartender when she was told that they didn't make muggle cocktails at this pub.

The pub erupted in a loud cheer as the song ended. Sirius clapped Harry on the back as he called over his shoulder for another round of beer and a bottle of Firewhiskey. All smiles, the boys sat down to enjoy a rest and a chat.

Harry was already way passed drunk. About an hour ago he had Ginny help him prepare his muggle contact lenses as he was sure he would lose his glasses by the end of the night. His cheeks were flushed from the mead, and she was sure his face would hurt from the idiotic smile that refused to desert his face all night. Sirius was in no better state. He was the star tonight. He let out a rather loud belch, causing the bar crowd to erupt in cheers. Sirius chuckled and threw the pretty bartender a wink and a large tip as she dropped the fresh drinks down in front of them. Ron and George made their way back to the table, sniggering about something called 'Skittles Skin'.

Sirius pushed a strand of silky black hair out of his face so he could take a drink of his beer. Ginny pulled a strand of ribbon out of her purse and motioned for Sirius to turn so she could tie back his hair for him.

"Thanks, love! I suppose I should get myself a trim soon. Never had much of a reason to get all dolled up when I was back in Headquarters." He began, relishing in the feel of female attention. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back into her touch, allowing her to complete her task with relative ease.

Ginny ran her fingers through his hair and gathered it all up into her left hand. "No worries, Sirius. I can trim that hair up for you if you want. I'd do it magically, but I'm afraid I'm not very good. Much better with a proper pair of scissors." She finished, tying up a large bow in his silk tresses.

Sirius hiccupped. "Yes that would be lovely, my dear. Perhaps tomorrow, at Harry's? Rather not step foot into your flat for another day or two, especially not with a pair of scissors around. 'Fraid Sprite might try to off me." He sniggered, taking a rather large gulp of his beer.

Ginny stiffened. Her eyes darted over to Harry, who was looking rather confused. Sirius sighed, "Bugger me!" and slapped a hand over his face.

Harry stared at his godfather. "Sprite? Isn't that what you used to call Hermione?" Not getting an answer from the older wizard who seemed to be overly interested in the bubbles floating up his beer, he turned to Ginny.

"Gin? Why would Hermione try to off him? Wait, why would Hermione be at your flat?"

Ginny opened her mouth to answer, but couldn't. She let out an exasperated sigh and slapped Sirius hard on the arm.

"Ow! Careful, firecracker!" he exclaimed, rubbing his arm where Ginny had assaulted him.

Harry stood up from his seat and leaned his hands on the table. His emerald green eyes flashed with hurt and anger. "Why wouldn't you tell me that Hermione is at your flat?! She's my best friend Ginerva!!" he spat.

Ginny threw back her chair and stared into Harry's eyes. "Don't you dare take that tone with me _Harrison_!" she growled in response.

While the young couple seemed to be momentarily lost in their little spat, Sirius threw a sobering charm over himself and apparated away.

Just as Hermione was placing one of the last trinkets back safely on the mantle, she was startled by the 'POP' of somebody apparating in beside her.

She jumped back and let the trinket smash to the ground with a loud "Oh FUCK!" as she came face to face with, once again, Sirius Black.

Sirius' eyes were filled with urgency. She shook her head in a silent protest as he quickly closed the gap between them.

"No. No, Sirius. No. I can't. I can't…" she sobbed as he closed in on her, hands waving weakly in front of her in objection.

Sirius cupped her face in his hands and lightly touched his forehead to hers, letting his eyes flutter shut. Hermione grasped the arms of his shirt, not entirely sure if she was pulling him closer, or pushing him away. He let out a sigh and spoke. "I'm so, so sorry 'Mione..."

Before Sirius could continue, they were accosted by the sounds of more apparations as Harry and Ginny popped angrily into the living room, mere feet from the scene.

Harry's face displayed a myriad of emotions; excitement, love, confusion, anger, and most importantly? Rage. Yes, that was definitely rage.

Harry pointed an accusing finger at Sirius. "What the BLOODY hell do you think you are doing?! Get your hands off of my 'Mione!" he yelled.

Ginny spun to face Harry. Her soft brown eyes darkened to a frightening shade as she closed in on the messy-haired wizard. "YOUR 'MIONE? Listen here, Potter!" she spat, her finger waving violently in front of his face, "Who the hell do you think you are storming into MY flat and yelling about some other man making advances on someone who ISN'T your GIRLFRIEND?"

Sirius let his hands fall from Hermione's face and stepped back – stunned. He turned to face Ginny, "Advances? Hold on a second there, I did nothing of the sort!" Sirius replied angrily, waving a hand in the air.

Hermione's eyes flashed with anger. "Is that so, Black?" she spat out, tilting her chin up to lock gazes with the cornered looking wizard. "Then what the hell do you call flooing into Ginny's flat and snogging me senseless earlier? Huh? Well, Black?" she quizzed, hands on hips and sporting a look that could stun a Giant.

Sirius turned to Hermione, "Well, I.." he started, running a shaking hand through his now free-tumbling black tresses.

Harry growled at Ginny. "Not SOME wizard, Ginny! Sirius! You know, notorious ladies-man? THE Sirius Black? My GODFATHER Sirius Black?" he spat back before turning to the man in question. "And YOU! You KISSED her? What the fuck were you thinking?! This is Hermione we are talking about!" he growled, giving his godfather a forceful shove.

"HEY! I told you that you shouldn't believe everything you hear!" Sirius defended, obviously becoming frustrated being cornered and having his words and actions twisted in such an unflattering manner.

Hermione turned to Harry. "EXCUSE me?" she sputtered. "What do you mean 'This is Hermione we are talking about'? So I'm, what? Some sort of inexperienced, ugly, virginal, bookworm?" she threw back.

Sirius snorted at Hermione's comment of being virginal, which resulted in a sharp slap across his face.

"FUCK WOMAN!" he roared, bringing a hand up to his stinging cheek. "You mental?!" he growled out, stretching his jaw out to try and relieve the pressure mounting on his face.

"Oh! That's RICH!" she threw back, advancing slowly on the older wizard.

The voices in the room grew louder and louder as the fight continued, competing for dominance and the confusion mounted.

"He kissed her!"

"WHAT does it matter to you?"

"How DARE you scoff at me like that. I'm not some cheap floozy!"

"DAMNIT WOMAN!" Sirius growled, slamming his fist into the wall just to the side of Hermione's face. "I know you aren't a cheap floozy, but it's _**PRETTY CLEAR**_ you are no virgin!!"

All the voices in the room stopped with that last comment. Sirius could instantly feel Hermione's rage, and he knew this would not end well. Her uncontrolled anger turned into an unstable magical energy. Hermione felt as if she would melt and explode all at once if she did not rid her body of this unfocused torment, so she did the only thing she could think of.

She hauled back and punched Sirius Black in the face.

He groaned and stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet and crashing through the coffee table. Ginny's jaw dropped as she saw the scene in front of her unfold with a startled "whoa…" escaping her lips. Harry seemed to sober as he grasped blindly for Ginny's hand, grateful that his spitfire girlfriend had never come close to that kind of anger.

The room was deadly silent spare for the soft groans coming from Sirius as he writhed in anguish on the broken rubble. His face was contorted in agony and he blindly grasped for something, anything to grab hold of to keep the room from spinning out from under him. Hermione slowly stepped towards the disaster before her, and spoke very softly.

"You have no right to make any presumptions about me, Sirius Black. I may be no virgin, but I am not a whore." She discretely cast a wand less muffliato at Harry and Ginny without taking her eyes off of the terrified Wizard on the floor. "I'm not your whore." She finished, taking down the charm and quickly exiting the apartment, slamming the door so hard the hinges pulled slightly from the wall.

A moment later, the flat was flooded with deafening sounds of more apparations as the entire Weasley clan popped into the living room with wands drawn. Molly stood shaking with one hand clutching her wizards clock, and the other her wand as she surveyed the scene around her.

Sirius Black was now propped up against the wall. He was in obvious pain, his hair mussed up and a large bruise forming on his left cheek and around his eye. His arms were cut slightly from the splintering wood of the coffee table. Fighting desperately to keep from shedding the tears that were quickly pooling in his eyes, he instead tried to focus on filling his lungs with air.

Ginny and Harry stood side by side, hands clasped tightly together and wands drawn, looking confused and terrified.

Molly, no longer able to keep silent screeched "What is going on in here? Ron came home freaking out about a huge fight!" She shook the clock in her hands in front of her for emphasis as it showed 'mortal peril' for Sirius and Harry. "I thought you were all dead!?"

Sirius looked at Harry and shook his head with what little strength he had to try and convey that telling Molly was a very bad idea, but Harry didn't even notice.

"Hermione is back."


	10. Chapter 10

It had taken a while for Ginny's flat to settle down from the news that Hermione had returned. Arthur was busying himself with a ballpoint pen that had made the trip with Hermione, completely enthralled at how 'ingenious those crafty Muggles are.' George and Bill flooed Charlie and Percy informing them of what was going on and then settled themselves into the den along with Ginny, Harry, Sirius, Ron, Arthur and Molly.

Molly had charmed away most of the pain of Hermione's attack on Sirius. However, she left the swelling to be alleviated via a conjured bag of frozen peas, instead of instantaneously charming away his discomfort. She was certain that Hermione's assault was not unjustly provoked and not fully healing him was her little way of sticking her allegiance with Hermione side of the battle.

After his wounds were "seen to," rapidly Molly began to ask questions: "When did she get here? Where has she been? What has she been doing these last couple of years? Where did she go? Why did she punch Sirius? Why didn't she come by to see us? Why didn't you tell us she was here? Why wouldn't she want to see me?" The questions were making the throbbing of Sirius' face seem meek compared to the newly acquired stabbing of his brain.

Sirius unbuttoned the collar of his purple dress shirt and rubbed the spot just above his collarbone. This always seemed to calm him when he was close to losing his mind. He closed his eyes and took long, deep breaths, letting his head fall back onto the cushion of the chair. His long, black locks draped over the same arm of the chair that his head rested on, while his brown, corduroy covered legs draped over the opposite arm. He picked up the cold bag of peas and plopped them down on his face. He tried to close his mind to the chaotic slew of words that were flying around him, while Ginny was trying to answer her mother's questions as quickly as she could, and was obviously getting peeved with the whole situation.

To her mother's tirade of questions, Ginny simultaneously answered, "Only a couple days ago, mum. She's not been in England and you knew that she left. She's been working in the Muggle world, mum. It's not my place to tell you where she has been, you know that. It's not my place to tell you what happened here tonight, Hermione was just upset and I am sure she is regretting letting things get out of hand. I don't know, mum. I can't tell you, mum. That's not true, mum, she does want to see you, she wants to see everyone, and she just wanted to settle in first."

Sirius smiled. Ginny's voice was betraying her agitation. She was trying so desperately to hide from her mother. It seemed the stream of a million questions that Molly was spewing at her would never end. He snorted to himself, _Oh Molly, why do you even bother? You've asked dozens of questions already, and have gotten no real information._

Arthur was sitting across the room on the transfigured chesterfield. It had been folded up and returned to its original state for the afternoon, hiding the blankets and pillows underneath the cushions. Placing the Muggle pen down on the end table next to him, Arthur smiled and asked what seemed to be question of merely interest, and not information. "What on earth do you call that thing that her clothes are in? It's the oddest trunk I have ever seen!" he asked with a small chuckle, reaching over to run the zipper back and forth playfully.

Molly rolled her eyes at her husband and was about to scold him for his silliness when Ginny perked up and cleared her throat. "It's a suitcase, dad. Same thing as a Muggle trunk, except you are limited to the amount of items you can carry in it before it will no longer close. It's rather difficult to place a bottomless charm on it, as it doesn't seal tightly enough," she replied, pointing to the zipper, "See, the zipper doesn't seal it quite well enough for the charm to stay inside the compartment without seeping out and becoming useless. It would likely explode under the pressure."

Arthur beamed at his daughter's knowledge of Muggle storage. He was always proud of her, but some days he found that thought seeped up more than other days. This was one of them. Curiosity getting the better of him, he asked his next question. "Goodness, that's fascinating! Nevertheless, why wouldn't she just use a magical trunk? Or shrink her belongings? Seems a waste to travel with only a select few pieces of your belongings…," he continued, still playing with the zipper joyfully.

Ginny's brow furrowed in thought. _Should I tell them? _She drummed her fingertips together and looked around the room at the expecting faces of her family. Harry reached over, took her hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze, sensing her troubles. Even with his eyes closed, Sirius could feel the tension in the room. He pulled himself up in his chair slightly so he could observe what was being said, allowing the bag of peas to drop into his lap. He eyed Ginny and waited for her response.

"Well, dad, a magical trunk would do her no good as it is difficult to travel with without using charms…" she trailed off. She had hoped that would be a good enough answer for them, but the Weasleys were not easily fooled. They kept their eyes on Ginny, waiting for her to finish her thoughts.

Ginny sighed and squeezed Harry's hand. "Hermione lives as a Muggle now. She doesn't use magic."

A few select occupants of the den gasped and murmured to themselves as to why anyone would willingly give up using their magical abilities, while others just looked confused, as if what Ginny had said just didn't make any sense.

Molly piped up first. "Why on earth wouldn't she use magic? How has she been getting on? How does she manage?" she sputtered out.

Ginny couldn't help but giggle at her mothers concern. "Mum, Hermione is a Muggle born. The first 11 years of her life, she lived without magic. She lives in a Muggle home, with Muggle appliances, drives a Muggle car, and has a Muggle job. It's a full time job being a Muggle, I know, I've seen the way she lives. She does her own laundry, cooks her own food by hand, washes all her own dishes by hand and cleans by hand. It's exhausting watching her go at it. But she likes it, so I've never said anything. Well, I've never said anything lately. She has a good life, a good job, a nice little home in a nice little village. She's quite capable of taking care of herself."

Bill decided to get in on the action. "Yes, that's wonderful, but you really mean to tell us that she uses NO magic? None at all?" he asked, leaning forward in interest.

"She hasn't picked up her wand in years. Not sure she even has one anymore, to be honest," she replied looking slightly confused at her own answer. _Did she still have a wand? Surely, she would never rid herself of it_. "I've seen her do some wandless charms, but the instances are so few and far between that I don't think it even registers with her magical signature," she finished, dropping back into her chair.

Sirius hadn't taken his eyes off Ginny the entire time she spoke. _She doesn't use her wand anymore… The wandless charms are so simple and so rare that they don't register with her signature… _

Sirius kicked his feet back over the side of the arm and let them hit the floor with a soft 'thud.' He tapped his right foot a couple times and drummed his fingers on his knees in agitation. Something about this was very unsettling, it wasn't right. There was more to the story, but they weren't going to get the answers from Ginny. Sirius knew what he felt earlier when Hermione became enraged.

_**Her uncontrolled anger turned into an unstable magical energy…**_

Sirius rubbed a hand over his mouth as he thought about the situation. He had pissed her off. _Well, no, that isn't entirely true. Yes, she was angry, but it was more than that._ He hadn't thought through his words that he spoke in the heat of the argument. He just attributed her reactions to the nature of woman. First, she was angry that people would look at her and see a virgin, and then as soon as he said that it was obvious she wasn't, she lost control.

The voices of the Weasleys continued to battle in the den. Molly had returned to what seemed to be a rehearsed list of questions, which in turn infuriated Ginny. Knowing he would not be missed, Sirius took this opportunity to slip from the den, grabbing his navy blue, crushed velvet pea coat along the way and apparating into Diagon Alley.

He threw the jacket over his shoulders and quickly did up the buttons. Pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket, he transfigured it into a red scarf, and wrapped it around his shoulders. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he began to wander the streets, continuing the stream of thought that was interrupted by the gaggle of Weasleys.

_Hermione was always known to be a rather rational girl, emotional, but still rational. Tonight, she seemed really to freak out_. He searched his recent memory of the little witch to see if he could piece together a small history that would lead to her crazed reaction.

_"He's my world," she replied, "He's all I have." Despite her beautiful words, the sadness that lingered behind them showed in her eyes._

_"Like I said, no one knows about Xander. There are still some unresolved … issues concerning him," she continued._

_"When everyone finds out about my boy, they will want to know who the father is. I'm not sure I can tell them. The father doesn't even know about…" She reached up and wiped the single tear that escaped her sad eyes._

_He knew that very few circumstances that would cause that look to appear on the face of such a brave and intelligent witch._ With that lingering thought, Sirius sniffled in the cold autumn air. The Alley was nearly deserted at this time of night, with only the random drunk couple stumbling out of the Leaky Cauldron in a fit of giggles, to distract him. He came upon Ollivander's shop, and reached out to run his lean fingers along the cold dark wood. _She hasn't picked up her wand in years_. He knew she was in the final battle, so obviously she had used her wand there. According to Harry, the final battle with Voldemort happened in the spring of 1998. Hermione said that Remus never knew she was pregnant, and Remus died in the final battle, so she must have gotten pregnant just around that time.

Sirius pulled his hands out of his pockets and clasped them together. He blew some warm air into them, and rubbed them vigorously together. It's 2001 now, so that meant little Xander would be around 2 ½ if he guessed correctly. _The Battle was in late spring, so she would have given birth at the end of the year, or the beginning of the next, right? So let's just assume 1999. That's 2 years, and this year is dying down, so lets say 2 ½. Yes. That sounds about right. If no one knew about the baby, that means she would have moved away soon after the final battle, otherwise people would have noticed her obvious pregnancy. So if that's about the time she moved to a Muggle community, than it's likely that she locked her wand away then, to adjust to the Muggle lifestyle._

_So, if she hasn't used magic in about 3 years, that could explain the head-pounding energy that filled the room when she became angry. She has no outlet for her magic. Surely, she must know that refraining from magic is extremely unhealthy for her, right? In fact, it's downright dangerous._ Thinking back to Azkaban, Sirius could distinctly remember hearing the screams of witches and wizards as their own magic attacked them to get out. It was enough to drive a fellow inmate mad; heck, sometimes it was enough to kill the poor sap. Sirius had been lucky in one sense; growing up in a family of dark wizards, he was taught how to do some minor wandless magic. Some days he would sit in his cell holding a small pebble in his hands, transfiguring it into various small objects such as empty quills, vials or chalk. Not only did it pass the time, but also it served as an outlet for his magic. On days that he was particularly angry, he could feel his energy screaming to get out, causing intense migraines and nausea. Nevertheless, he would focus all his thoughts on those small pebbles, desperately clinging to whatever small outlet he could find that would save him from the fate of those horrible screams that echoed into his cell of solitary confinement.

Hermione must have some sort of outlet. Ginny said she could do some minor wandless magic, but even that was sparse and likely wouldn't do much to help her.

Looking up at the sky, Sirius knew it was well beyond dark now. The Weasleys had likely made their way home, and Harry was probably wondering where he had gone to. Sirius hoped he wasn't too worried. He kicked at a small stone on the ground and let out an exasperated sigh. _I really fucked things up, didn't I? I know I shouldn't have kissed her, but damn, it felt so good_. He snorted to himself. _She didn't seem to mind it at the time._ It upset her though, because when he came back later on that night to apologize for outing her to Harry and the Weasleys, she obviously thought he was coming back for round two, and was on the verge of a mental breakdown at that point. But anger? If she was angry, she would have stopped him the first time around and decked him instead of waiting for him to insult her.

Did he insult her?

_"**DAMNIT WOMAN!" Sirius growled, slamming his fist into the wall just to the side of Hermione's face. "I know you aren't a cheap floozy, but it's PRETTY CLEAR you are no virgin!"**_

Sirius grimaced at the recent memory. _Guess I should have thought THAT one through a little better, eh? _He leaned up against the stone wall of a newly opened shop and stared out into the stars. The air had dropped to a temperature that allowed him to see his own breath. He exhaled deeply, watched the little puff of breath mist out, meandering through the icy air. A few moments later, another little puff seemed to come out of nowhere. It was heavier, and a grayish blue color. Sirius quirked an eyebrow at it and examined it more carefully as it drifted slowly away. If he hadn't known better, he would have though it was a little cloud in the shape of a … _teddy bear?_ Sirius kicked himself off the wall gently and peered around the corner of the building.

On a dumpster, not 20 feet away sat Hermione. She had one leg curled up underneath her, and the other dangling freely over the side of the dumpster. Her eyes were closed, and she was humming oh so softly to herself. She looked peaceful – happy almost. She drew a cigarette up to her mouth and inhaled deeply. She exhaled a large puff of smoke, which seemed to morph itself into the shape of cat. The cat lingered in the air for a moment, and then seemed to walk over the icy air and curl up as if to go to sleep. The little puff of a cat drifted away from the little witch and right out in front of Sirius. His mouth twitched up in a half-smirk. _What a sight this is! _He chuckled lightly to himself.

Hermione slowly opened her eyes, and looked straight into the eyes of an amused Sirius Black. She cocked up an eyebrow and spoke, "If you're here to tell me my pimp is looking for me, you can tell him I'm on my break."

Sirius let out a small grunt and walked over to where Hermione was perched. "You know I didn't mean that the way it sounded," he replied.

"Oh really?" she quipped. "Because it sounded like you were calling me the whore of Babylon!" she finished with a snarky laugh.

Sirius rubbed at his temples, carefully selecting his words. "I just meant that it's hard to think of a woman who has had a child as innocent and virginal."

Hermione took another puff of her cigarette and blew the smoke straight up in the air before turning her gaze back to Sirius. She leaned over a little closer to him – anger evident in her flashing green eyes. "Yes, Sirius. I have a child. Thank you for reminding me. However, Harry doesn't know that! I wanted to be the one to explain to him what happened, but you took it upon yourself to throw my personal life around as if it was a pile of rubbish. And the best part? Because Harry doesn't yet know about Xander, he probably thinks we've slept together and I've become one of your sad little sex-groupies!" she snarled.

"Listen to yourself, Hermione!" he growled, grasping at her legs and giving them a shake for good measure, "Why on earth would Harry think we've slept together? I just got out of the bloody hospital this afternoon, and haven't been out of his sight for more than two minutes since! Where would we have found the time?" he finished, taking a step back and running his hands through his hair then over his face, willing himself to calm down.

"Yes, well that's plenty of time for some," she answered, ashing her cigarette over the side of the dumpster.

Sirius couldn't help but grimace. "Ronald?"

Hermione shuddered, "Malfoy."

Sirius covered his face with his hands. "Please, PLEASE tell me you mean Draco."

Hermione laughed. "Of course I mean Draco. Lucius is a gorgeous man, but a little too prissy for my liking," she answered with a small chuckle.

"And Draco **is** to your liking?" Sirius responded, cocking up an eyebrow and trying to ignore the visual of Lucius and Hermione together.

"Not particularly, just one of those things. I guess we got tired of fighting and decided to take out our frustrations with each other in a more … satisfying manner," she finished.

Sirius' face took a sour turn as he shuddered at the new visual of Hermione with his pompous, skinny little cousin. Sensing the disgust in the handsome older wizard, she let out a raucous laugh. Sirius rolled his eyes at her playfully before stepping up and snatching the last of her cigarette out of her hand.

He held it up in front of him in display. "You shouldn't be smoking. It's not healthy, Sprite." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest in mock offense and Sirius sniggered, taking a long drag from the butt before tossing it onto the frosted ground further down the alley. He exhaled slowly, letting his eyes drift closed before he exclaimed, "Holy fuck! I forgot how fantastic that feels … sweet, beautiful intoxication!"

Hermione giggled and reached into her pocket to retrieve another cigarette. Sirius grinned wolfishly and snatched it out of her hand before she could get it lit.

"Hey now!" she grumbled playfully as she watched him tip the end onto his lips and light it with the flick of his wand. She rolled her eyes at him and pulled another one out of her pack. Bringing it to her lips, she flicked the butane lighter and felt immediately calmed by the sizzle of the tobacco and paper slowly burning. She exhaled slowly and turned her now serious gaze up to meet the wizards in front of her.

Seeing his pained expression, she sighed and looked away, "I think we need to talk."

Sirius looked down at the ground and kicked a small pebble with a nod. "Ok"

Hermione took a deep breath and contemplated her next move. "Why did you kiss me?"

Sirius chuckled softly, leaning back on the stone wall opposite the little witch's dumpster and took a long drag off the cigarette. "I don't know, honestly. It wasn't my intention when I flooed Ginny's flat to ravage you in the kitchen. I … I just … wanted a moment of celebration with you. I knew you wouldn't be coming with me because of … circumstances, but it didn't feel right to start the celebrations without including you in some way. So I just … flooed over when Harry and Ginny left … I was excited … got carried away …" he replied, his thoughts meshing and trailing off at the end.

Hermione seemed to understand where he was coming from. She was still puzzled as to why **he** would react that way, but she can understand getting caught up in a moment. She had been caught up in a few moments with the resident ferret, but there was always a mutual attraction between the two despite their incessant verbal accusations and hexing. She knew she was attracted to Sirius, but it didn't seem plausible that he would be attracted to her. She shook the thoughts from her head and continued.

"I guess that makes sense," she replied, her mouth twisting up in a lopsided grin. She took another puff from her cigarette and tossed it away, looking back up at him.

"When you came back, why were you apologizing?" she asked, her brow furrowing in apprehension.

Sirius sighed and dropped the cigarette down, stamping it out under his brown boots. "We had a few drinks in us at the pub, and while in a conversation with Ginny I let your nickname slip up and Harry began to question why you were in a recent conversation. I'm the reason that Harry freaked out tonight, I outed you. I'm so sorry, Mione," he sighed, hanging his head in embarrassment.

"My name came up? What were you talking about?" she inquired.

Sirius chuckled softly. "The probability of you hexing my bollocks off if I stepped foot in your flat again anytime soon."

Hermione tossed her head back and giggled vivaciously. The visual that accompanied his words was almost too much to handle. She clutched at her sides, finding it difficult to breathe through her merriment.

Sirius couldn't help but smile as he watched her. His heart warmed at the sound of her laughter. He never meant to hurt the little witch. He was impulsive by nature, and had been accused on many occasions of being overly passionate in his actions. He knew Hermione was no delicate little flower – she proved that tonight by decking him – but she was broken in spirit. He made a private vow to be more careful in his choice of words with her.

Sirius brought a hand up gently to touch the side of his face that was still rather bruised. Hermione saw his hand tremble as it touched his cheek, being careful not to apply any real pressure to the area. She sighed.

"Does it smart?" she asked apprehensively.

"Like a bitch," he replied with a small chuckle, "You sure can pack one hell of a punch there, Sprite."

"I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not sorry for punching you, but I am sorry that I punched you so hard," she added guiltily.

Sirius threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter. "Cheeky witch!" he growled playfully, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Hermione threw him a crooked grin before holding her arms out in front of her and wiggling her fingers. Sirius took the hint and reached out to grasp her hands, pulling her towards him before he shifted and grabbed her waist, slowly lowering her down to meet the ground. She smelled wonderful; like winter smoke and evergreen. He let his hands linger on her waist, taking a moment to reach up and brush a stray lock of hair out of her face, and leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Forgive me?" he asked. Hermione looked up into his stormy grey eyes. They were honest and filled with regret. Her heart leapt at the thought that he really did feel badly about being so rash, that perhaps he really did appreciate her. Hermione's mouth twisted up into a brilliant smile. She reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. Sirius sighed inwardly and leaned into her touch, relishing in the feel of her cold little fingers dancing over his skin in such an innocent yet intimate manner.

"Of course," she replied with a small nod.

Sirius beamed at her, taking her cold little hand from his face and holding it protectively in his own. He looped her left arm through his right, and placed his left over hers. She reached her right hand over to grasp his right bicep and they slowly began to walk away from the cold alley, back to Ginny's flat.

A shy smile here, an innocent giggle there, stories of the Marauders and the Golden Trio filled the night air, the sounds of their voices competing only with the scuffle of their feet on the earth. There was still a tension between them, but they brushed it aside as always and shuffled along. Every so often, they would stop so Sirius could gesture wildly with his hands, punctuating whatever mischievous tale he was recounting, only to find their arms and hands linked back up moments later as they continued onward. To a friendly observer, they seemed every bit the part of a couple long in each others loving company, telling stories of their youth and enjoying the private moment's life could afford. They smiled at each other with all the honesty they possessed, and their eyes danced with mutual companionship.

All too soon, they found themselves at Ginny's doorstep. Hermione stepped up onto the first step, which brought her almost up to Sirius' height. She turned to face him, wiping a stubborn strand of hair out of her eyes with her left hand, her right still entwined with Sirius' hand. A moment of easy silence passed between the two.

"I suppose I have no choice but to face Harry and the Weasleys now, right?" she asked, tilting her head to the side slightly. Sirius looked up at the window and could see some Weasley shaped shadows pacing in the room.

"Yes, sorry about that, love. If you want, we can take another turn about the alley to give you some more time to prepare yourself?" he replied, half-hoping she would agree for his own guilty desire to spend more time alone with the witch.

"Better face the mob now, gets it over with," she replied with a sigh. Taking one more glance to the stormy eyes of the gentle wizard before her she reached up her hand and cupped his swollen cheek. Giving him a lopsided smile, communicating silently that things would be ok, she leaned down and planted a ghost of a kiss across his cold lips. She backed away, gently running her thumb across his cheek before she pulled away and grabbed for his hand to lead him inside. Sirius smiled, not even realizing that the pain and swelling had subsided with her mere touch. Hand in hand, they quietly made their way back inside.


	11. Chapter 11

As expected, the Weasley clan had not left the den since they arrived. George, Bill and Ron were sound asleep on the transfigured chesterfield. Bill on the left looked as if he had fallen into slumber in the middle of a conversation, his teacup still sitting in his lap. George had reversed himself around in the center so that his head dangled over the cushion upside-down and his legs stretched up the span of the back of the couch, and hung loosely over the back. Ron was asleep on the right side, head drooped down onto the arm and drooling as he snored softly. Molly and Arthur were snuggled up on an oversized armchair, Arthur's hand absently tangled in his wife's hair as if he had gently petted her to sleep. Ginny was asleep on the armchair next to the floo, with Harry's head in her lap, seated on the floor with his legs tucked up under him. Sirius looked at Hermione, her eyes mirroring the smile that she saw in his. They quietly made their way to the kitchen.

Sirius charmed a large kettle to an instant boil and accioed the cold teacups from the den back to the kitchen while Hermione filled the tea tray with some cookies from the jar and some fresh cups. She walked back into the den and leaned up against the archway as Sirius followed her in, levitating the tea tray in front of him to settle onto the newly repaired coffee table. He then turned to the overstuffed ottoman and transfigured it into an armchair large enough for them to both settle comfortably into.

Sirius cleared his throat loudly, and the sleepy inhabitants of the den slowly began to emerge from their hazy states. Hermione smiled to herself as she watched the family she had missed so much brush away the cobwebs of sleep. Oddly enough, Ronald was the first amongst them to register Hermione's presence, and immediately sprang to his feet, wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth and making a mad dash across the den at her. Her laugh rang in the ears of her surrogate family as Ron engulfed her in a massive bear hug and swung her around in a circle. She was pulled from Ron's quick embrace and straight into the arms of Bill, and so on down the Weasley chain until she came across Molly. Tears filled her eyes as she barely registered the '_So good to see you!_' and '_Welcome back Hermione!_' Hermione and Molly just stared at each other for a few moments before the flushed redhead tutted and pulled the little witch into a fierce motherly embrace. After a few moments of loving touches and cheek pats from the Weasleys, Hermione stepped back with a brilliant smile and wiped away the tear tracks that spilled down her flushed cheeks.

Still smiling, she turned her attention to Harry. "See? That's how you greet an old friend, Harry!" she giggled.

Harry had the good mind to be embarrassed. He flushed head to toe and looked away sheepishly before bringing his brilliant green eyes up to meet hers. "Sorry, Mione, I'm sorry," he finished, casting his gaze downwards.

Hermione opened her arms and giggled. "Oh come here, Harry! Give me a hug and tell me you missed me!" Harry didn't need to be told twice. He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her lovingly. Hermione closed her eyes with a smile and rubbed his back soothingly. Harry sobbed gently into her hair for a few moments before he willed himself to settle down and speak again. "So sorry. So, so sorry, Mione. I shouldn't have freaked out. I was angry. I thought you didn't want to see me."

Hermione pushed him out of her embrace slowly and clucked her tongue playfully at him. "Oh, Harry. I love you way too much to not want to see you. I just needed some time to adjust to being home and get settled in," she replied, wiping away the fresh tears of joy that pooled in her eyes. She took a deep breath and looked around at the smiling faces beaming at her.

"Right then, might as well have a seat, likely to be a long night," she said, sitting down on the newly transfigured ottoman and tucking her legs up underneath her. Sirius sat lazily on the arm of Hermione's chair and rubbed her back soothingly to let her know that everything would be ok. Molly immediately went to work distributing tea and cookies to the occupants of the room, and settled herself back in with Arthur.

Hermione stole one last quiet glance around the room and began.

"Ok. I guess I will start. It's so wonderful to see you all; it really has been too long. When I left, I did not intend to stay away as long as I did. The reason I left will soon enough be common knowledge, but we will get to that in a few minutes. Once I left, I found that resolving the issues concerning my departure were becoming increasingly difficult to resolve, and felt it was best if I just stayed away and cut all contact temporarily until I at least pulled myself back together. I know things have been difficult for everyone, and you will all no doubt tell me that it would have been better had I stayed, and been with my friends and family, but I assure you I needed the peace and quiet of a life that did not know me. Unfortunately for you all, I am still the emotional train wreck I used to be, but now that I am back, you will all just have to deal with it," she finished with a sad laugh. Sirius rubbed his thumb in a circle around her lower back, calming her nerves.

The Weasleys nodded and soaked up all the information Hermione was giving them. One by one they started asking her random questions; where did she work, what is it like to live as a Muggle after living as a wizard, where did she live and so on. After a bit of time the questions became more and more difficult to answer, and Hermione was becoming uncomfortable with the sheer volume of interest they had in her personal life. Not that she was ever one to display her personal life out for people to see in the open, but the last few years of practical solitude had deepened her appreciate for privacy. Nevertheless, she held her chin up and tried to answer as best she could. Sirius never once left her side or spoke a word to interrupt; he only intensified his soothing actions by holding her hand and drawing lazy circles across her palms with his thumb. Hermione greatly appreciated this small gesture from the wizard, knowing that he had every right to be furious with her for almost breaking his nose hours earlier.

"So exactly where have you been living, love?" asked George.

"In Canada, in a small Muggle community on a river. Up until a few years ago, you couldn't even find it on a map, but in recent years, it has developed into a Forestry landmark due to its efforts of native land preservation. Canadians are crazy about nature, and rightfully so, it's absolutely gorgeous there. Sadly, the forestry industry is plummeting and is expected to practically die out in the region in the next couple of years due to the increasing strength of the Canadian economy. It's complicated, something to do with the American and Canadian dollar…"

Arthur perked up and addressed the group, "The dollar is Canadian currency, like our Galleons!" to which the family nodded and seemed to understand a little better.

"Yes Mr. Weasley, that's exactly right." Hermione finished with a smile.

"So, why did you leave, Mione?" asked Ron. Hermione looked to him and was hurt by what she saw. She saw confusion and dejection in his eyes, as if she had intended to betray him with the answer to his question. She shot him a small smile before answering, hoping it would alleviate some of the worries he had.

"I couldn't handle the stress. You guys remember what I was like in third year? When I was using the time-turner?" she asked, to which she received a few nods of understanding. "Well, it was kind of like that, but not only was I stressed, I was emotionally exhausted. After the final … the final battle, I needed a break. I love you Harry," she inserted, looking directly at her dear friend, "and I love you too Ron," she added, locking eyes with him again, "so very much, but this whole 'Golden Trio' thing is frustrating sometimes. I can't tell you how blessed and thankful that I am a part of that, because it means that I get to call you two my very best friends in the whole world. But the whole wizarding world knows me as 'Hermione Granger, female in the Golden Trio, best friend to The Harry Potter, savior of the modern wizarding world, with bushy hair and too damn smart for her own good'. I needed a break. Ever since I was 11, and I got that letter of acceptance to Hogwarts, I have had to put aside being ME in order to be Hermione Granger. Even before coming to school, I knew about the way people felt about Muggleborns, which meant I had to be the very best I could be just to be somewhat accepted. And I didn't mind, I love learning, but I could never take a break, otherwise people would think that I was burnt out, and that could affect the way people view Muggleborns."

"I was always part of something bigger than myself – something spectacular and wondrous and fantastic. I just wanted to be part of nothing for a while. I wanted to look out my window and feel insignificant for a bit. I don't want to conquer the world; I just want to be a part of it. Does that make sense?"

Her answer seemed to be accepted as everyone nodded and smiled their agreement. Hermione smiled and leaned back in the chair. Sirius absently took his free hand and smoothed back her untamed hair much like you would lull a cat to sleep.

"But why Canada, why so far away?" Bill inquired.

Hermione smiled at the handsome wizard. "Someone once told me that it was the true Garden of Eden. Once I saw it, I fell in love and that's that."

"Ok," began Harry, "Why don't you use magic?" he quizzed.

"No need. I live in a Muggle community, in a Muggle home, with Muggle appliances, and work a Muggle job, which pays Muggle money directly into my Muggle bank account. It's Muggletastic," she finished, earning herself a joyous laugh from the collective redheads.

Arthur, sporting a dreamy look that was reminiscent to that of a Lovegood, asked his second question of the night. For someone that seemed so silly with his inquiries, he sure did have a knack for hitting it right on the button.

"Hermione, dear, why are your eyes green? Weren't they brown? I could have sworn they were the same color as Ginny's."

Sirius seemed slightly puzzled. _What a silly ... no, no…I couldn't have missed that, could I? _His left hand still absently smoothing away her hair found its way to her chin, where he tilted her face up to meet his. He locked eyes with the little witch. Gazing back into his stormy grey eyes with fear, were indeed, a pair of brilliant forest green eyes. _Please… please Sirius,_ she thought … _please don't say anything_. It was almost as if Sirius could hear her voice echoing through his mind. He was overcome with the sudden feeling that Hermione was silently pleading with him to help her out. He forced a smile and turned to face the group.

"Looks like those Muggle glamours, the kind Harry wears," he added, waving lazily at his godson, "Instead of glasses, you put these little rubbery thingies on your eye and they do the same thing as spectacles." He looked back down at Hermione's thankful gaze. "Very pretty choice of color, my dear."

"Well, my dear, I think it's time we all headed off then, busy day tomorrow!" Molly spoke, gently patting Arthur on the leg to inform him to prepare to apparate back home. The Weasley clan slowly rose to their feet, stretching and vanishing tea cups before stepping up to give Hermione a good night hug and a kiss on the cheek each. A few smiles and waves later, and the only red head left in the room was attached to Ginny's very tired head.

"I love your family, Gin. But holy bloody hell they are exhausting." Harry yawned, earning him a playful slap across the shoulder. "Oi!" he laughed. "Anyways, what do you all say to heading back to my place then? I personally sleep better with Ginny next to me, and my place is much more Muggle friendly."

Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry's waist and looked to Hermione. "It's up to you, Mione. Harry has a guest bedroom that you can stay in, and Sirius is staying with us so you will have someone to hang out with during the day while we are at work. Plus, it's Muggle friendly so you can use the phone to call home …," she added, realizing that she was about to expose Hermione. "Call home to work and be sure that everything is going smoothly. I'm sure you are wondering about your baby, Crookshanks," she corrected.

Hermione took a tentative glance to Sirius and then to Harry. Both of the smiling wizards were silently telling her to come home with them, promising her protection in a way that she oddly did not seem to find chauvinistic or degrading. They just wanted her company and wanted her to return to their lives. She smiled and let out a breath she wasn't aware of holding in. Harry grinned and shrunk her suitcase with his wand. Sirius walked over and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and apparated them out of Ginny's flat right behind his ecstatic godson.


	12. Chapter 12

Hermione found herself much more at ease in Harry's flat than she had been in Ginny's home. Ginny had a lovely home, but it only had a few modern Muggle appliances. Harry had added many magical touches to the place, including an oversized claw-foot bathtub in the loo, and a traveling floo in the den. Just off the doors to the kitchen, there was a firecalling floo, the size of a small window that hovered about five feet from the floor, so that you wouldn't need to bend down to make a call. He had also put a concealment charm over the backyard as to keep his nosy neighbors out of his business. It had been a few years since the final battle, but there was the occasional reporter who would try to catch a snapshot of Harry as he lounged in the garden with a butterbeer and a Quidditch magazine. Why this seemed exciting to the media was well beyond him, but shrugged it off as fan-girl insanity and the like.

The Muggle appliances made Hermione feel at home. There were a number of cordless phones around the flat, along with a popcorn maker, percolator, electric stove and oven, crock pot and electric grill. He had televisions and a stereo system, and much to her enjoyment, a desktop computer that was hooked into the internet. Harry showed her around the place as he explained all about the neighborhood. His flat was a four bedroom; master suite was on the top floor, kitchen, den and dining on the main level and the other three bedrooms were in the basement. One of the bedrooms was 'Ginny's.' She kept some clothes there along with some books and other personal items, but was nothing more than a show for Molly. Arthur never said anything, but Harry suspected that he knew that his precious daughter's head had never touched that pillow. While many found Arthur to be slightly dim, Harry knew better.

The room that Harry showed Hermione as hers was quite lovely. It was all decorated in white with gold trimming. The sleigh bed was a dark mahogany wood, with a white satin comforter stitched with gold threading. The sheets were a goldenrod color that matched the paint on the walls. Harry had mentioned that he meant to take up the carpeting and replace it with wood flooring, but hadn't gotten around to it. Hermione didn't mind, she liked the feel of the warm carpet under her feet, and figured it would be a cold walk to the adjoining bathroom in the morning had Harry put down the desired flooring. Her window was short, as she was in the basement, but wide, and decorated with cream-colored sheers that waved gently in the wind. There was a closet to the left of the bed, with a wooden door closing off its contents. There was a pale finished wardrobe at the far side of the room in addition to the closet, and a small computer desk beside it where a desktop and telephone stood. To the right side of the room was a small sitting area, a soft golden colored chesterfield and a matching armchair, with a mahogany wood coffee table in between.

Hermione smiled. It was not as large as wizarding quarters, but it felt like her old home back with her parents. It felt Muggle, and she welcomed it.

"It's brilliant, Harry. Thank you." She smiled at the disheveled wizard.

"No worries, I'm glad you approve. I'm afraid I don't have a library, but I suspect you brought some reading material with you." Harry replied.

Hermione giggled. "I think I will manage, Harry."

Harry took Hermione's shrunken suitcase out of his pocket and placed it on the floor to put it back to its natural state. He then fished out a Muggle key from his pocket and held it out to Hermione, who placed it in her pocket.

"That is the master key. It unlocks front and back doors. Sirius is staying in the guesthouse, which is just through the second door off the back porch. Ginny and I are off to bed, Sirius is in the main den. I still want to talk to you, but it will have to wait. I need some sleep, and no doubt you do as well" Harry finished, patting Hermione's hand lovingly.

"Thank you, Harry. I think I will get into my sweats and join Sirius for a nightcap before I retire." She kissed him on the cheek, and closed the door behind him as he left.

Hermione found her way back up to the main den, where she indeed found Sirius, lounging on a chesterfield and twirling a glass of amber liquid between his hands. He was staring into the warm fire that illuminated the quiet room, lost in thought. Hermione quietly rested herself on the archway and watched him for a moment. Sirius was now wearing his own nightclothes, a pair of black jogging pants and a grey three quarter length sleeved shirt that was fitted nicely on his lithe frame. His hair was glowing a dark brown and golden hue from the fire, and was in dire need of a good cut. At 15, she thought this style had suited him perfectly, but now it just seemed too rogue and unkempt for his defined features. His bare feet were kicked up on the end of the couch, decked out in a pair of blue and grey-checkered slippers. She had always figured him for the silk pants and no shirt kind of nightcap man - the sexy vision that you would find in a magazine - but smiled as she thought that this seemed much more delectable in its own demure sort of way.

Hermione gently pushed herself off the wall and quietly stepped up to the far end of the chesterfield where Sirius sat contemplating. "What's your poison?" she asked.

Sirius looked down into his swirling amber liquid and donned his most sexy and alluring voice, "Apple Juice, love." He replied with a chuckle.

Hermione giggled at his silly antic and patted one of his slippered feet. Sirius brought his feet up closer to him, and motioned to the vacated cushion next to him. She smiled and took a seat, resting her cheek against the back of the chesterfield and looking into his stormy grey eyes.

"It's been quite a day, has it not?" she asked, a ghost of a smile touching her lips.

"Indeed, love." He replied, looking up to meet her tired green eyes. "Tomorrow should be better though. Nothing going on and I suspect Molly will have the boys in lockdown at the Burrow preparing for Wednesday's festivities."

"Wednesday's festivities?" she asked, trying to hide the fact that she knew what was going on. "What do you mean?"

Sirius chuckled, "Don't play dumb, love. It doesn't suit, nor is it believable. I know very well that Molly is planning a welcome home party for me. Although I suspect it has very little to do with me and a lot to do with Harry, the prodigal son she never had." He finished

Hermione rolled her eyes playfully. "Alright, you win. I know about the party. But just for the record, I tried to play dumb and keep it a surprise." She finished, poking his chest gently with a finger.

Sirius laughed softly and took a drink from his glass. "You are coming, right?" he asked, apprehensively.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Although I will be requiring some help to get the hell out of there at some point so I can call Xander and wish him a good night. I missed it tonight with all the excitement, but luckily Harry has the internet so I will send him an email before bed."

"Internet? Email? I haven't the foggiest, love."

Hermione smiled. "Internet is like a crossover between a Muggle telephone and a letter. It's kind of like a typewriter with a screen that you can see what you are typing, but there is no parchment inside it. You type it up on the typewriter thingy, and click a button and the letter automatically finds it way to an email address – which is like an electronic home address. Only the person with the password for that address can open up and see the letter, and they can access it anywhere in the world that has a computer and internet access."

Sirius looked confused, "Sorry I asked."

Hermione laughed and patted his leg. "Come along. I will show you. It's easier to understand this way" she finished, standing up and reaching her hand out for Sirius to take.

Sirius smiled and accepted the offered hand, letting the little witch lead him down to her bedroom where the computer was. He conjured up a chair and sat next to her as she pushed a button and the screen came to life.

She clicked a few buttons on the screen with something she called a "mouse," although it looked more like a large plastic egg to him. A little box with some smaller boxes appeared, and she began to type away on the "keyboard," words appearing on the screen as soon as she hit each letter. Sirius chuckled to himself as she sent the letter off into the abyss. Hermione smiled at his amusement and pointed to the screen.

"See that address up there? That's my email address. In order to see this page, you have to know my password. See this list of letters? That's called my 'inbox'. That means it's all the letters I have received that I have not disposed of. I keep them to read later should I desire to do so. This one here is from work, this one here is from my cousin who is watching Xander, and this one here is from Ginny." She said, pointing to each letter as she described the senders. "They write me letters just like the one I wrote to Xander, and send it to my email address, and I can read them whenever I want." She finished with a smile.

"Bloody Muggles. Brilliant I tell you. No wonder Arthur is such a nut about all this Muggle stuff. I still don't understand a bloody thing that just happened, but I think it's fantastic nonetheless." He replied, eyes sparkling with intrigue.

Hermione just smiled at him as she watched him click a few letters on the keyboard and smile mischievously as he saw the letters automatically appear on the screen in front of him. "Brilliant" he chuckled.

After a few minutes, they made their way over to the small sitting area of her guestroom. The conversation started light, but was soon veering elsewhere. Normally this would unnerve the little witch, but found that despite earlier happenings with the passionate wizard beside her, he was rather good company and could trust him with whatever she told him – so long as she didn't anger him.

"I know that there is much you haven't told me, or anyone for that matter." He stated, picking up his glass of apple juice and taking a large gulp. "I also know that you probably don't want to really talk to me about personal things, seeing as I royally bollixed it up this evening, in several different ways … but you can talk to me if you want."

Hermione shifted on her chair and pulled up the light blanket over her legs. "I know, Sirius. I guess … everyone has their secrets. You know most of mine, but there are some things I just don't know if I am ready to discuss, no matter how apparent they are." She finished lazily.

A silence fell over them for a few minutes before Sirius decided to speak.

"You really loved him, didn't you?" he asked, half wanting to know that his dear friend had indeed found someone to love him after all, someone as wonderful and amazing as this little witch, and half wanting her to say no for he was certain it would break his heart.

"I did." She replied. "I did."

Another silence.

Sirius took this time to examine the sad, little witch he had come to appreciate so much in the last couple of days. She was wearing a pair of grey jogging pants, and a white hooded sweatshirt. Her feet donned a pair of heavy woolen socks, and her hair was piled loosely on top of her head. She wore no jewelry or makeup, and he found he rather liked her that way. She always looked fresh, like she had just stepped out of the shower. Her eyes were tired, but they were soft and beautiful. The stories of her life were painted in them, each fleck of color, sparkle, and line telling him that she had indeed seen life. He loved the way her eyes seemed to brighten when she talked of Xander, and darken when she was passionate. Her eyes looked hazel when she talked about something intellectual and the color of the forest canopy when Remus came into the conversation. Sirius mentally kicked himself for not noticing the actual color of her eyes the last few days, but found comfort in that it was likely the only thing about them he didn't recognize.

Hermione shifted in her chair and sighed. "He didn't deserve the life he had. None of you did," she added, looking into the thoughtful grey eyes across from her. "You're family was horrid, let alone all the years in Azkaban for a crime you didn't commit. Remus thought you were guilty, and never got over that when he discovered his error."

"James and Lily didn't deserve to die, and Peter did not deserve the friendship you all extended to him. Remus didn't deserve to be a werewolf, and most certainly didn't deserve Tonks," she finished, mentally slapping herself for speaking ill of Sirius' cousin.

Sirius' brow furrowed as he quickly pondered the meaning of her statement. _Most certainly didn't deserve Tonks?_ He knew that after he fell, Remus and Tonks had gotten together. He could also remember that as he passed through the veil, the few 'memories' he had seen of Remus and the metamorphmagus were uncomfortable to even watch … as if there was a silent tension in the relationship that on the outside seemed completely natural to everyone else.

Sirius flicked his wand and transfigured Hermione's chair into a larger loveseat from under her, eliciting a small squeal from her. Sirius made his way over to the empty cushion next to her and curled up, placing his cheek on the back of the loveseat so he could look directly at the flustered witch.

"Would you tell me about them? No one talked much about anyone who had died, I feel like I am missing out on the lives of my best friend and my cousin."

Hermione ran a hand over her unruly curls, tucking a stray strand back into her bun and smiled sadly.

"It all happened really not long after you had fallen. I guess everyone really started to realize that any one of us could go at any second. Those feelings that everyone had tried to suppress just came bubbling to the surface. Ronald started to pursue me, Harry and Ginny finally admitted their feelings to each other, and Tonks became obsessed with the family she always knew she wanted. At first, they really did like each other. He told me that her company was not un-welcomed, but as time went by, the pressure to accelerate a relationship with her was becoming apparent. She kept pushing him to commit to her, saying that she knew they cared for each other very deeply, and that love was naturally the next step. She told him that she didn't want to waste any time in taking things slowly, for in the end she knew they would end up together. Remus tried to push her away; he was insecure. He knew he couldn't offer her anything, and that his condition was likely to be a liability in the life she had planned for herself. Eventually he gave in. He thought that she was right, and that she would indeed be his greatest chance finally to fall in love. They married after the Headmaster passed away, and she became pregnant. He told me that he cared for her deeply, and that he loved her, but he was never really sure if he was in love with her."

"One night he came to us at the Black Manor, asking to come with us on our hunt for horcruxes. I could tell immediately that something was terribly wrong. He was freaking out, acting not himself. Remus was always so calculated and calm, but that night he was wild and grasping to his sanity. It was soon discovered that Tonks was pregnant. He used the excuse that Teddy could end up being a werewolf, and it would be his entire fault. Nevertheless, the way he looked at me when he said it, I could see something was not right – he was lying. He knew damn well that child would not be a werewolf, because the child was not his."

Sirius swallowed hard and struggled to speak. "Not his? But ..."

"If Remus had impregnated her, he would have known immediately. A werewolf mates for life, but it's a little more complicated than that. Remus is only a werewolf one night in the month, and displays heightened tendencies for 2-3 more. The werewolf was always a part of him, but only surfaced for a portion of the time. Remus is free to mate whenever he chooses, but because the natural instinct of the werewolf is to mate, it would not allow him to impregnate someone who was not his mate. Does that make any sense?" she asked, twirling a curl around her finger.

Sirius thought on it for a moment, and then cleared his throat. He brought his eyes down from the point on the wall he was focusing on to control his approaching temper, and locked gazes with the green eyed witch.

"Your eyes?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes. If he had impregnated her, the wolf would have claimed her and marked her as forbidden territory for another. Tonks did not receive the wolves mark, I did. This is why my eyes are green. The wolf is a creature of the earth. It is primal and sensual and cannot thrive without the power the earth affords him. Green is the color of fertility." She finished.

"So, because the wolf and man are one in the same, they need each others support and cooperation to claim a mate, and to impregnate them?" Sirius asked.

"Correct. Remus allowed himself to be bonded to Tonks, but the wolf rejected her. The day she told him he would be a father; he knew he could never love her. The wolf had rejected her, and he had allowed himself to be rushed into a marriage with her, bonding him legally to her for life. The only way she could have become pregnant, was by another man."

"They had a confrontation, and Tonks stood by the argument that it must have been a fluke, that she had never cheated on him, and that everything would be alright. A few days later, her eyes were green. She tried to convince him that it must have just been delayed, that finally the wolf had accepted her as its mate ..."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "And?"

Hermione sighed. "And … Remus freaked out, and begged us to let him accompany us on our hunt. Harry threw a fit and called him a deadbeat dad. Remus attacked Harry, had a meltdown and stormed out. I tried to call him back, knowing that Remus wasn't telling us the whole story, but Harry didn't want to hear it anyways. As far as Harry was concerned, Remus knocked up your cousin and was trying to run away, leaving the child without a father. Harry never had a father, so it upset him greatly that Remus would choose not to be with his child, when there are circumstances where fathers have no choice."

"But her eyes, they were green! Doesn't that mean that …" he trailed off. Hermione wrung her hands together through her anxiety and took a deep breath.

"That means that your darling metamorphmagus cousin knew she was in deep trouble, and willed her eyes green to try and conceal the affair she had. Everyone knew that Tonks wanted a husband, a home and a family. It didn't seem to be happening the way that she wanted it to, so she chose to separate them. She found herself a husband who wanted desperately to fall in love with her, and a man to donate his little swimmers so that she could have a child. She wanted Remus to believe that the child was his, and they would live happily ever after."

"Shit, of course, she can change her appearance at will." He breathed out, not even fully aware that he was speaking.

Hermione nodded.

"Bloody hell … I can't … she …" Sirius ran a hand through his unruly hair, trying to calm himself down. His cousin, had convinced Remus that she was the one he loved, only to trap him in a legal contract, and then proceed to cheat on him. "I can't ... she ... she fucked with his head! How could she do something like that? Convince poor Moony to marry her and then destroy his lifelong desires?"

Hermione held up her hand in protest to stop the rant that was obviously approaching. "Sirius, listen to me, and listen well." He nodded. "Tonks did a very bad thing, but she did not do it with intentions of hurting Remus. She did care for him, and wanted them to fall in love. Who knows, in time … perhaps? It could have been the quick pace she pushed the relationship at that did them in … or … I just don't know. Nevertheless, think of this … Tonks thought she was getting her dreams. She was in no way a stupid woman. She tried to have a baby with Remus, but it wasn't working. Perhaps she knew that the wolf rejected her, or perhaps she thought that Remus wasn't going eventually fall in love with her. Therefore, she did something emotional and stupid. She tried to make him believe that he was going to be a father. This sort of thing happens all the time, using a pregnancy to save a relationship. The problem is – it never works. It's an even worse idea to lie about the biology of the child to save the relationship. She tried to deceive the wolf, and it didn't work."

Sirius slumped back against the arm of the chesterfield and rubbed at his collarbone. "Ok, so what about ... you … you and Remus, I mean."

Hermione sighed again and reached out to rub the black clad leg of Sirius. "I don't know. It just … happened. I'd always loved him in one way or another; a teacher, a friend, a mentor, but over time, it became something more. I was falling for him, but then he married Tonks. He confessed to me one night before he married her that if circumstances and times had been different, that he very well could have fallen for me too. But life was too short to dwell on those things, so he wished me luck, and married Tonks."

Sirius subconsciously reached out and grasped her hand, rubbing lazy circles on the back and feeling the sadness and tension slowly subside. Hermione felt hot tear tracks on her cheeks, and reached up to wipe them away, sniffling and offering a sad smile to the concerned looking wizard to her side. Sirius exhaled sharply and quickly tugged on her hand to pull her into his lap. The little witch nuzzled her face into the curve of his neck and let the tears flow, never emitting a single sob, but allowing the tremors to invade her body. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head. He reached down, pulled the blanket over the both of them, and let the trembling mess in his arms slowly lull her self into sleep.

He knew there was nothing he could do for her except hold her in his arms and say, "He was lucky to have found love in you for whatever small time you had together. At least he died knowing he was loved." He knew he had. He could feel the pained love radiating off the witch in his arms. He could see her sadness in the twinge of amber that flecked her brilliant green eyes.

Sirius decided not to move Hermione from where she had found some comfort. Instead, he pulled the blankets up a little higher and charmed the lights off, allowing himself to fall asleep offering what little solace he could.


	13. Chapter 13

Hermione awoke to a very warm and asleep Sirius Black pinned beneath her. She had fallen asleep with her head resting on his chest, and one hand tucked up underneath her cheek. Her legs were so tangled up in his that she was sure if she tried to move she would wake him up. Sirius had one arm lazily draped over her back, and the other dangled from the couch, just barely grazing the floor. His head was propped up on the arm of the chesterfield, tilted slightly into the sunshine that wafted into the dust-dancing air. _Oh dear_. Hermione delicately tried to untangle herself from Sirius, and extract herself without waking the sleeping wizard. Feeling him stir beneath her, she looked up and caught his sleepy gaze.

Sirius had lazily opened his eyes, and was smiling down gently at her. "Morning, Sprite." he welcomed. Startled, Hermione let out a little yelp, and jumped, causing her to fall to the floor with an 'oomph!' Unfortunately, being tangled up, Sirius fell with her, landing half on top of her with one leg still on the couch.

"Oh Bugger!" she exclaimed, covering her face with her hands to try to hide the flush that was quickly surfacing. She could feel Sirius shaking next to her, but he was making no sound. She peered through a crack in her fingers to see him laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe.

"Oh you!" she yelped, swatting him hard in the arm, causing him to roll over onto his back, directly into a patch of sunshine. He finally filled his lungs with air, causing him to laugh loudly in amusement. Hermione smiled in spite of herself. She couldn't help it, he looked so young and so alive. She was soon overcome by the giggles herself, finding his laughter contagious. After a few moments, Sirius smiled and pulled himself to his feet, letting the laughter subside into chuckles. He offered his hand to the giggling witch and pulled her up to her feet as well.

"I'm sorry Sprite … but the look on your face when your ass hit the floor was priceless!" he roared gaily.

"Oh sod off!" she scoffed, fighting to keep from allowing the giggles to overcome her again. "It wasn't that funny!" she quipped, turning her face away from him to keep her control, unable to keep one last snigger from escaping.

Sirius reached out and gently patted her shoulder. He sighed happily, "I am going to go to my flat and take to take a shower. Care to join me there for breakfast in 15 minutes?"

"Sounds lovely, should I invite Harry and Ginny down?"

Sirius shook his head. "I believe, my dear, they have already left for work. It's just you and me today." he smiled.

"Oh…alright, then." she replied, smiling hesitantly.

Sirius leaned over and kissed her chastely on the cheek, patted her shoulder once more, and was gone from her room with a sly wink and a smile.

Hermione sighed, taking a few moments to stare at the spot he had vacated. _I did sleep rather well. _She shook the thought from her mind and made her way to the shower.

Twenty minutes later, Hermione made her way into the cozy dining room of Sirius' bachelor pad. She was twirling her hair up to the top of her head, to secure it with an elastic band, as she hadn't had time to dry it properly from her shower. She had thrown on a pair of black jeans and a snug blue hooded sweatshirt that made her already brilliant green eyes sparkle like emeralds. She had forgone shoes in favor of a pair of black slippers. She smiled as she took a seat on a stool at the island, pulling the cordless phone from her pocket and laying it on the countertop.

Sirius grinned at her. She looked beautiful, and she wasn't even trying. _Stop it, Black!_, he mentally scolded himself before catching her eyes.

"What would you like? I can make eggs, toast, bacon, sausage and pancakes," he offered.

"Sounds good to me!" she replied, stealing an apple from the basket on the counter and biting into it.

Sirius started, turning to face her with wide eyes and mouth gaping. "All of it? You want…you mean you can eat all of that?" he asked, clearly astonished at the appetite of the small little witch in front of him.

Hermione swallowed the mouthful of apple and raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to tell me something, Black? Are you trying to tell me I look fat?" she quizzed, knowing that he hadn't meant anything by it, but clearly enjoying watching him squirm.

"No! I mean … it's just … you're so small! And … that's an impressive appetite! I just … oh sod it! You eat like a man and it's hot as hell!" he scoffed playfully, eliciting a happy laugh from the witch.

"You man the grill and cook the meats; I will make the eggs and pancakes. Deal?" she asked, sliding from the stool and moving to throw out the core of her apple.

Sirius smiled as he watched her scuffle over to the bin and toss out the core, "Deal."

Sirius was impressed as he watched the little witch pack away the large breakfast. She had cleaned her heaping plate, and reached for a banana afterwards to top it off.

They spent the morning playing chess. Well, Hermione played chess, and Sirius cheated at chess. Hermione still won. Defeated, Sirius sulked and made his way over to the couch to pout, while Hermione did a little victory dance. Sirius rolled his eyes and grasped her wrist, pulling her down on the chesterfield next to him with a small yelp. She immediately erupted into giggles, which Sirius found lit her face up like sunshine on the river. They watched some rather bad Muggle television programs, and then spent the afternoon reading. Hermione found she rather liked being in Sirius' company, he was pleasant and easy to talk to. Even the subjects of conversation that she was highly uncomfortable talking about seemed to pour like water from her mouth when in his presence. He had this strange ability to calm her and excite her at the same time, although you would be hard pressed to get her to admit it.

Sirius had taken to reading the newspaper while Hermione decided to call home to Canada to say goodnight to Xander as it was nearing his bedtime there.

"Hello mon petit loup! Did you get mummy's letter? I sent a letter to your Auntie; did she read it to you? Mommy didn't get to say goodnight before you went to bed last night, but I promise I will call every day until I come home, ok sweetheart? Mommy loves you. Give the phone to your Auntie. Goodnight! Bye!"

Sirius found concentrating on the paper was rather difficult with Hermione's sweet voice ringing so close by. He smiled as he listened to her talk to her son, a small smile gracing her lips and she told the little boy she loved him.

"Has he been any trouble? Are you sure? I'm so grateful that you could look after him; I will be back this weekend in time for you to have your vacation. Thanks so much. No! It really does mean a lot that you could take him on such short notice; I didn't want to bring him with me, too much hassle. But he has been good? Has he pitched any fits? No? That's good; he has a scary little temper on him. How about Crookshanks? Oh, that's good. No, I do not need to stop worrying! I will worry about my son as much as I please thank you very much!" she retorted, giggling and staring off to a picture on the opposite wall.

Sirius had pulled the newspaper up to cover his face. He was sure if Hermione had looked his way she would have seen his entire body trembling with silent laughter. He couldn't help but be amused by the ascending frustration in her voice as she was obviously being told off by her Muggle cousin.

"Lighten up? WHAT? I am NOT wound tighter than … listen here!" she scolded, waving a finger in the air matter-of-factly as if the offender were directly in front of her. _Cute_, he thought, peering over the top of the paper to witness this. "I am not uptight! I know how to have fun! I can let loose!" she huffed, painfully aware of Sirius' near convulsions next to her on the chesterfield. "I am loose!"

With that last comment, Sirius barked out in laughter, letting the tears of amusement stream down his face. He dropped the newspaper and brought his hands up to cover his face, trying to muffle his incredibly loud laughter that was practically echoing off the walls of the den.

Hermione scoffed and said goodnight to her cousin only to be responded to with a reply that made her blanch and flush all at once. Hermione couldn't find the words to respond so she just clicked the phone off and stared at the wall, mouth gaping. Sirius muffled his laughter long enough to look at Hermione, who slowly returned his gaze.

"I can't believe she just said that!" Hermione breathed out.

Sirius stifled his sniggers long enough to force out "What?"

"She told me I needed to get laid!" she sputtered out.

Sirius held his breath. _Don't laugh, don't laugh, oh-please-Merlin don't laugh…_

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he bellowed, sinking into the cushions of the couch. Hermione squealed and biffed him with a decorative pillow, causing him to roll off onto the floor on his back. Hermione laid down on the couch, looking over the edge so that her head was next to his.

"Oh MERLIN!" she sighed loudly. She looked down at the happy wizard below her. _Good sweet Merlin he is sexy_, she thought. Seeing him so free from the anguish she remembered him living with all those years warmed her heart, and sent a familiar twinge to another body part that she recalled him having stirred back then as well. All these years later, and she still had that schoolgirl crush on him. One fantasy in particular of him slamming her up against a wall and ravishing her senseless snuck to her forethoughts. _I really do need to get laid…_

Sirius stifled his chuckles as best he could and looked up at the frustrated green-eyed witch. "You know, love," he began, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "If you need a good romp, I'd be more than happy to oblige," he finished, sending her a sly wink.

Hermione scowled playfully as she tipped her head off the couch and brought her face closer to his, grasping at the collar of his shirt and tugging lightly. "Don't tease me, Black. You shouldn't make promises you can't keep!" she retorted.

Sirius' lip twitched up at the corners. He gave her a soft open-lipped smile, his beautiful white teeth gleaming at her. "Who's teasing?" he whispered. _Oh Gods! That smile should be outlawed!_

Once more, she found all rational thoughts had taken a leave of absence. Hermione grunted and pulled his collar so that his lips came up to meet hers. Their lips crashed in a forceful, awkward kiss. Sirius was startled by her forwardness, and forgot to kiss back momentarily. _Oh, fuck it!_ He reached up and grabbed her arm, pulling her down on top of him on the hard wood floor. He reached up and snapped the elastic out of her hair, letting her damp curls tumble down around them in a chestnut cascade. Hermione shifted to make herself more comfortable, her leg resting in between his, brushing his groin lightly. Sirius' hips thrust up at the contact and he gasped against her lips.

Hermione snaked a hand into his unruly hair and kissed at the corners of his mouth. Sirius nipped at her bottom lip, sucking it in between his own as his hands traveled from her shoulders down to the hem of her pullover. He licked gently at the outline of her bruised lips, silently asking permission to enter.

His lips felt like heaven on hers. They were soft and sensual, moving quickly to take what he wanted from her, and slowing down immediately after to let her reciprocate. His mouth left hers to dance across her smooth skin.

Cheeks, eyes, temples, jaw, neck and …_ oh, do that again!_ His teeth grazed her collarbone, and trailed up to the sweet spot directly behind her lobe, nipping lightly at the skin there, and breathing hotly into her ear.

She moaned, feeling the temperature of her skin reach what she could only assume was the melting point. Tearing herself away from his lips, she grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up to expose his chest. She threw Sirius' hands up above his head and out of her way. She licked her lips and trembled as she realized just how beautiful this man was. She watched his chest heave and sigh under her heated gaze for a few moments before she lowered herself to kiss the ansuz ink. _Oh fuck yes!_ Her tongue licked at the tattoo before placing soft kisses on his skin up towards his neck.

She grasped at his bunched up shirt and began quickly removing it, button-by-button, stopping momentarily to kiss his swollen lips. His hands were under her sweatshirt now, leaving a trail of fire as they slid up her back. _Oh gods! Faster, must go faster…_

Losing patience, she ripped the shirt from his chest, sending buttons flying across the wooden floor. Straddling his thigh, she sat up and locked eyes with the gorgeous wizard pinned beneath her. _Shouldn't do this…shouldn't…_

"Mione?" he rasped, barely aware of his own voice cutting through the silence. His hands found their way to her thighs, slowly moving from her knees up, up…

_Oh god, oh god, oh god_…. she grabbed the hem of her sweatshirt and underlying t-shirt and pulled them simultaneously over her head. Sirius shuddered at the vision in front of him. Her slim black jeans rode low on her waist, her feet were bare and the only other article of clothing was her black lacy bra that restrained her heaving chest. Her usually bushy hair was damp and laying more smoothly down her back, a few curls straying to the front and framing her chest. Her face was shadowed, as the light source for the den was behind her, causing the outline of her curls to glisten a golden color and fade slowly into a chocolate kissed hue. Green eyes sparkled when they caught his stormy, lust-filled greys. They remained like this for a few moments, breathing, lightly touching, and letting their fingers dance across each other's skin, as they stayed locked on each other's eyes. Sirius's hands glided over her partially exposed waist to her abdomen and up underneath her breasts. Her eyes fluttered shut and head tilted back, exposing her long delicate neck. He could hear her panting, her needs and her desires hung thick between them. The tension inside him was becoming too much to handle. If he didn't stop this now, he wasn't sure he would be able to later on.

His hands brushed over her lace covered breasts and she moaned _oh so softly_. His hips thrust up involuntarily, his groin grazing her jean-clad thigh. _Oh gods! _

Hermione breathed deeply and lowered her lips to ghost a kiss across his delicious mouth. "Don't tease me, Black…" she repeated, letting her tongue lick his quivering lips. His resolve snapped. Grabbing her damp curls, he crashed her lips against his, bruising her in the most intimate fashion. He growled low from his abdomen, up until it escaped his mouth and into hers. She drank it in, mewing under his passionate ministrations. "Not teasing..." he whispered in between kisses, "No games…just _OH FUCK _…." Her hot mouth found its way to his earlobe, nibbling and sucking it in between her scorching lips, "Just me, love, just me."

Hermione moved back into her sitting position over his warm thigh. She grabbed his hands, leading them to her breasts. "Please, Sirius, touch me again…"

Sirius grasped at the lace of her bra and pulled it down, exposing her beautiful creamy breasts. He growled in appreciation, letting his fingers glide over her nipples softly, listening to her breath hitch and quicken. Her hips began to grind wantonly on his thigh, and it was driving him crazy with desire. He sat up quickly, winding his arms around her back and dipping her back so her head hung down, curls cascading down over his legs. He lowered his mouth to a breast and laved at her pert nipple, relishing in her trembles. Her hands moved up to push the offending shirt off his shoulders, feeling the muscles glide under his skin. Still bent back, she tilted her head up to watch the shirt fall to the floor, "Sirius…"

He lifted his lips to catch hers, thrusting his tongue in her mouth and caressing hers softly, tasting her, tickling the roof of her sweet mouth. Their lips parted and he locked eyes with the vision on his lap, letting his hands glide down to the button of her jeans. Slowly, he popped the button, never letting his eyes leave hers, silently letting her know that it's still ok to stop him, but _oh god please don't deny me now_…

Hermione tossed her head back and closed her eyes. She could feel his fingers snake underneath the waistband of her jeans, opening the top button and sliding down to the zipper. Her hands glided up her abdomen and over her breasts, stroking them in anticipation. Sirius watched her touch herself on top of him, licking his lips while pulling down the zipper. "Oh fuck, Mione. That's so bloody sexy …" he breathed, eyes wide and watching her pinch her own nipple and gasp at the sensations it caused. He growled and tugged down at her jeans as she sat up on her knees, giving him just enough room to maneuver his hand in between the heavy fabric and her pulsating heat.

He continued to watch her as she fondled her breasts, head thrown back in ecstasy. His fingers pushed aside the lacy fabric of her panties and were met by slick, hairless skin. "Oooh, gods, Mione …" he groaned, letting his fingers dance around her slit, teasing at her entrance.

"Sirius …" she hissed, bucking her hips to try to coax his fingers inside of her. She was on the edge, ready to explode into a millions little pieces. Her sex pulsated with a need she hadn't felt in so long.

Wasting no more time, he thrust two fingers inside her and began to pump slowly, dragging his thumb over her clit. He was rewarded with a long moan that made his cock twitch and pull against the strained fabric of his pants. Her eyes fluttered and her head rolled from side to side.

Her hips bucked against his fingers, riding out the delicious torture he was putting her through. Her libido corded and wound up, getting tighter and tighter with each movement, each breath and each "_oh gods_!" and "_yes oh yes_!"

Her hand drifted away from her breasts and made quick work of releasing his painful erection. She took his large cock in her hands and spit down onto it, lubricating it just enough for her to glide her delicate little hand from base to tip. Sirius hissed and bucked his hips in time with her pumps, using his free hand to grasp the side of the couch to keep himself from what he was sure was falling through the floor in pure bliss. He removed his hand from her cunt, and grabbed her pumping hand to still it.

Confused, her lust clouded eyes looked up to catch his. She nibbled at her bottom lip, wondering what was wrong. He licked his lips. "Mione…let me watch you please yourself."

She blushed, casting her eyes down to the floor beside them. _He wants me to masturbate for him. Oh gods …_

Taking a deep breath, she ran her fingers across her abdomen. She sucked in her bottom lip and slowly let her hand drift down under her barely-there lacies. Sirius groaned as he saw her fingers disappear under a curtain of black, only able to see the faint outline of her fingers dragging back and forth, moving up and down. Her hips began to buck under her own ministrations and she let out a soft moan. Sirius grabbed her free hand and lifted it up to her breast, willing her to continue pleasuring herself. She obliged him, closing her eyes and fighting back the blush that still lingered.

Sirius was in pure heaven, she was so beautiful. Basked in a dim light from behind, she looked like a fallen angel. Her hair had begun to dry from exposure, causing the curls to bounce up and shimmer like a wild halo. Her face was flushed with passion and need, her breasts heaving from her quick breaths. Long legs adorned in tight black jeans opened just enough so he could see her touching herself in the most erotic and enticing way. Her black lacy bra still clasped, but pulled down underneath her breasts were being deliciously tortured by her own fingers. There was nothing in the world that was sexier than what he saw before him.

He reached down and began slowly stroking himself, until he worked up a rhythm that matched hers. Hermione could feel something brushing up against her fingers through the fabric of her lacies. She opened up her eyes and gasped as she watched the _ohsosexy_ wizard beneath her stroking himself.

_Oh Gods he is beautiful_, she thought. Black untamed hair, sprawled over the dark mahogany floor. His lips were bruised and swollen from her kisses, slightly parted and she could see his delicious tongue dart out to lick over his teeth before he sucked in his bottom lip with a stifled groan. His bare chest was adorned in a multitude of runic tattoos and poetic lyrics from too many different languages to count. His chest heaved and sighed in tune with hers. The long lean line of his torso trailed down where his hand was at work, stroking his engorged member. His eyes snapped open and caught hers. All the passion, lust, and needs were exposed in that moment. A slew of passionate curses escaped his beautiful lips, making Hermione moan from the pure sexual desire hidden underneath them. Sirius tossed his head back against the floor, pumping his fist harder and harder, faster and faster. Hermione's joined his touch as she reached down and clutched his scrotum, tugging on it lightly. With a strangled cry, he came undone, exploding his seed all over her taut abdomen. His juices glistened and slowly trickled down to the band of elastic at her panties, forcing another explosion of desire to waft through him, clashing white on her black jeans. She continued to milk herself to a completion as she watched him catch his breath. Without warning, he flipped her onto her back and ripped the pants off her. She gasped as the cool air hit her legs, and arched her back into his hands that were traveling over her breasts.

She looked up into his eyes and trembled. His stormy greys betrayed the possession and animal lust that was taking over him. He ripped the lacies from her body and grinned wolfishly at her. _Oh gods!_ "Please Sirius, please touch me …," she begged.

Sirius growled loudly and it made her heart quicken faster than she ever thought possible. He sat back on his legs and grabbed her knees, lifting her lower body from the floor. He rested her knees on either side of his shoulder and grabbed onto her hips. She cried out in sweet torment as she felt him blow onto her tortured pussy.

She slammed her hands onto the wood floor and cried out. "Don't tease me, Black!" she hissed, arching into his touch.

He quickly lowered his face into her heated folds and lapped at her juices. She screamed out in frustration and pure unadulterated desire as his tongue began to move inside her in ways no other man had ever done before. He sucked on her clit, and then moved to plant soft kisses on her thighs and in her small patch of curls before moving back to drive his tongue back inside her. Hermione writhed under his oral ministrations. Never before had she felt so wanton, so lost, and so painfully in need of release. He dragged his teeth over her swollen folds, and bit down gently on her sweet spot, worrying it between his teeth as his tongue flicked and caressed it from inside his mouth.

Her corded libido snapped. Hermione stopped breathing, and then let out a strangled cry as wave after wave of white heat coursed through her. Her blood caught fire in her veins, and for a moment, she thought she had gone completely blind. Her body pulsated and quivered from tip to end as all sensation in her body rushed to between her legs. Sirius lapped up her release and placed one last kiss on her thighs before slowly lowering her to the floor. He smiled as he wiped at his mouth, taking in quick breaths to calm himself down from all the excitement and passion. He looked down at the beautiful witch on the floor, who appeared to have passed out from her intense orgasm.

Sirius chuckled and accioed his wand. He flicked it lazily at the fireplace, which sprang to life and casted a soft glow over the room. Noticing that they were covered in a sheen of sweat, he cast a quick cleansing charm over them both and drew a blanket from the couch down on top of them. He smiled and draped his hand over her stomach, drawing lazy circles around her belly button before he too found the ability to keep his eyes open was far too difficult a task.


	14. Chapter 14

Sirius chuckled and accioed his wand. He flicked it lazily at the fireplace, which sprang to life and casted a soft glow over the room. Noticing that they were covered in a sheen of sweat, he cast a quick cleansing charm over them and drew a blanket from the couch down on top of them. He smiled and draped his hand over her stomach, drawing lazy circles around her belly button before he too found the ability to keep his eyes open was a far too difficult task.

Sirius awoke to find the lovely Ms. Granger wrapped tightly into his embrace. It had been a long time since he had opened his eyes to find a warm, delicate, little body pressed so perfectly into his own. His hand absently found its way into her dry curls, winding and unwinding one around his finger. He smiled and shifted to make himself more comfortable. Catching a quick glance at the clock, he noticed that there was still just over an hour before Harry was expected home. Casting his thoughts back to the warmth in his arms, he stole another glace at her sleeping form. If he didn't know better, he would have thought her delicate; precious like a porcelain statue. However, he did know better.

She was strong. Stronger than any woman he could think of. She was intelligent, pensive and so incredibly beautiful. He couldn't help but replay the recent memory of their lustful tryst in his mind. He had always liked the figure of a lady; firm, lithe, willowy. However, Hermione was no lady; she was, without a doubt, a woman. A little extra padding on her body softened her formerly teenaged angles, she had the hips of a woman who had definitely bore a child – a full, rounded silhouette. He had never been attracted to a woman like her before, but there was no denying that she was radiant. He enjoyed the unfamiliar weight on his body. Many times, he had found himself in bed with a female who was so light he could barely sense her presence. Perhaps that was a comfort to him. He was getting pleasure, but the idea that 'blond girl with long legs and small breasts' wasn't a permanent fixture in his life, even in the throws of passion, made him ease into his role in their casual sex relationship. She was barely even there.

Nevertheless, Hermione, she was there. He could feel her presence, her weight, her form as she glided over his skin, as she pressed her easily on his chest to trace his inky past. No other woman had ever seen his Azkaban brands, and to be perfectly honest, he assumed he would never allow any woman to see them. Afraid she might judge him, or worse, pity him. However, the look on Hermione's face when her eyes met his heaving chest, there was nothing but fascination. She didn't want to offer her pity; she had no look of disgust or increasing attraction to the 'bad boy'; only interest. She touched them like a lover caresses the cheek of their intended when they silently speak the 'I love you' that is no longer required to be voiced; from long acquired comfort with each other, from two people so long in sync that a lifetime could pass wordlessly.

Hermione shifted slightly in his arms, her brow furrowed. Sirius wiped a strand of hair out of her face, and smiled at how familiar that look was. She was thinking in her sleep instead of dreaming. Even in slumber, her mind didn't stop moving. Only one other person he knew of thought while sleeping. Back in his school days, he would spend many nights looking to the four poster next to his in Gryffindor tower to see the beautiful lycan through his parted curtains, deep in thought, and deep in sleep.

_Deep in thought and deep in sleep. Hermione carefully stepped through the expansive den in Grimmauld place, stopping just short of the beautiful werewolf sleeping on the chesterfield. Extinguishing her wand, she ran her hands over the wicks of the candles on the side table, smiling inwardly as her wandless magic lit the large candles, bathing the room in a soft glow, dim enough as to not alert anyone in the hall that there was something amiss._

_She knelt down on the floor to examine his sleeping form. He looked paler than usual, and so very tired. His hair was so long now that he was keeping it secured at the nape of his neck with a tie. He looked miserable. It hadn't been that long since his marriage to Tonks; usually getting married made people appear happier, lighter and more carefree, but it only seemed to depress the already weary werewolf. He appeared to have cried himself to sleep, if the wet lines on his face were any indication._

_She reached up and tucked back some stray hair, lightly grazing his cheek to try and slowly pull him out of his sleeping thoughts. "Remus," she whispered, "Remus, please wake up."_

_Remus stirred, blinking sleepily, trying to make the figure in front of him come into focus. "Hermione?" he asked, his vision settling into a pool of beautiful sepia eyes._

_"Yes, it's me Hermione. May I sit?" she asked._

_Remus sniffled and wiped at his face to push away the sleep, then quickly sat up, to offer the cushion next to him for her to take a seat. He turned his body to face her, curling his legs up under his chin and resting the right side of his body against the back of the chesterfield. Hermione sat cross-legged, facing him, so close they were almost touching. It was apparent they had become very comfortable around each other since Sirius' fall through the veil. Remus looked like a little boy; all curled up on front of her like that. If he hadn't been recently crying she might have found it worthy of a chuckle. Remus was always so professional around people, but when it was just Hermione, he seemed to relax and let himself be … himself. They were kindred._

_Hermione sighed. "What happened tonight, Remus?" she asked, apprehensively, allowing her forearms to settle on the top of his knees, bringing her face within inches of his to settle on top of her hands._

_"I told you, Tonks is pregnant." he replied, casting his eyes away from that sepia stare. _

_"Yes, I understood that part. But you said that you were afraid you passed your lycanthropy on to the baby."_

_Remus nodded._

_"That's rubbish. You would know if you passed on your lycanthropy, you would be able to detect the scent of your pack. So what are you so worried about?" she whispered._

_Remus sighed. "No, the baby is not a lycan. That much is for certain." he replied, pulling the cuffs of his sweater down over the backs of his hands._

_"Then what was that whole scene about?" She cocked her head to the side ever-so-slightly, much the same as the way Padfoot would do when quizzical._

_"Hermione …" he began, shifting uncomfortably, "Tonks … well, Tonks and I are …uh. Well, you see … the baby ... it's …" he stumbled over his words, each causing the tears he thought he had cried all out to creep back into his eyes. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "The baby's … not mine." he choked out, feeling the hot tears leak out of the corners of his eyes. Soon his sobs wracked his body silently as he buried his head in his arms._

_"Oh … oh Remus …" Hermione sputtered. Not knowing what else to say, she crawled up between his legs and wrapped her delicate little arms around the sobbing wizard. She could feel him crumbling in her embrace, and it broke her heart. She too began silently to cry, letting her tears flow freely down her face. Remus deserved every happiness in life, and has always been denied. She held him tighter, letting him weep through the heavy fabric of her bathrobe. Hermione had never seen a grown man cry before, and Remus was definitely the last man she ever imagined would break down the way he had in the last 7 hours._

_Hermione let her thoughts wander to the incident earlier that evening. Harry had called him a deadbeat dad. Remus had lost it and attacked Harry, then stormed out, only to return here to cry himself to sleep on the chesterfield once everyone had gone to bed._

_"I …wanted to ... fall in … love with her ... I tried … so hard … so hard … she lied … she lied …" he gasped out in between his sobs and desperate attempts to fill his lungs with air. He held onto Hermione as if she was a life preserver, letting himself fall to pieces in her tender embrace. "Nowhere to … go, I … I can't go home … my family's ... gone. It's all … gone," he choked out._

_Hermione pulled herself from his arms and cupped his cheeks firmly. Aware that she still hadn't wiped away her tears, she coaxed the sobbing wizard to look into her eyes, to see that she felt his pain, and that she was being sincere. "Remus, your family is not gone." she managed between her own sobs and sniffles. "That wasn't … family … your family is … still waiting ... for you … to find them."_

_Remus reached up and shakily brushed the tears out of his beautiful amber eyes. He grasped at Hermione's arms, which were still caressing his cheeks, soothing him out of his sorrowful hysteria. His ambers caught her sepias and they sat like this for a few moments, just letting themselves calm down after the outburst. _

_Remus took a deep breath and exhaled, closing his eyes to collect himself. "It was a mistake. I made a huge mistake. It's all one mistake, after another." he cast his eyes downward and squeezed gently on her robe-covered arms. "It was hard enough to try and find love when I was only an old, poor, dangerous werewolf. Now I am an old, poor, dangerous, married werewolf. Who …" he hesitated, "who could love that?" he finished, barely a whisper._

_Hermione sighed and stroked a thumb across his cheek. He was so broken. She never, ever wanted to see him like this again. He had always looked sad, tired, beaten down even at times, but he never looked broken._

_There was no point in telling Remus how wonderful he was; that he was the most genuinely beautiful soul she had ever met. There was no point. Remus didn't need soothing words; he needed the touch of a loving, caring human being. He needed to feel needed. He needed to feel wanted. He just needed to feel something besides pain. Hermione choked back a sob and wiped her thumbs over his scruffy cheeks, trying to remove the evidence of his pain. His skin felt so hot under her fingers. She felt her nerves dance under her skin as the close proximity to the beautiful man began to take its toll on her. Coaxing his chin up, his woeful eyes flickered open slightly to catch the gaze of the little witch in front of him. Hermione pulled her courage and leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips. _

_It began as a chaste kiss, a sign of friendship, but quickly escalated to something more raw and passionate. Neither could deny the tingling sensation that was rushing through their bodies at the moment. Hermione nibbled on his bottom lip gently, giving Remus the option of where to take the moment. He shifted himself on the couch so that he could lay the gentle little witch down underneath of him on the cushions. Hermione let him dominate the situation, knowing that he needed to feel in control of something in his life, even if that control was being found in a form of lack-thereof. Remus' trembling hands roamed over her slender curves, causing her to gasp at the overpowering sensation._

_Remus took this opportunity to deepen the kiss, taking in the taste of the goddess beneath him. Her hand snaked up underneath his old sweater and grazed over his warm back, tracing the lines of a lifetime of pain etched on his skin. Her other hand found it's way into his free flowing hair, letting the soft silken tresses melt into her fingers. _

_Remus grabbed her hip roughly as his other hand found its way into her opened robe and up underneath her modest gray t-shirt. His fingers grazed the soft underside of her breast as he shifted and ground his arousal into her own. Hermione moaned sensually into his mouth and arched her back, desperate for more contact._

_Her lustful sounds seemed to bring Remus back to reality. He was in Sirius' childhood home. He had a terrible fight with his wife, Dora, and found he had nowhere to go, so he came here, to Grimmauld Place, only to pour his heart out to his only remaining friend, who he was now in the process of ravaging senseless on and old, pretentious chesterfield emblazoned with the Black Family Crest. He was taking advantage of her, and she was letting him._

_Remus tore himself from Hermione's embrace and sat up quickly. He bit back a strangled sob, and let his face drop into his palms. Hermione slowly collected herself, sitting up to observe the distraught wizard who was moments ago taking her breath away. Sensing his obvious distress at the situation, she reached out and rubbed a hand up and down his arm to let him know everything was ok._

_"Remus, it's ok." She spoke._

_Remus flinched under her touch. His skin burned layers below where her hand had trailed, underneath numerous items of clothing. The sensation was unnerving. He quickly stood from his seat and turned his eyes away from Hermione. Wiping away a fresh set of tears, he whispered, "Forgive me…I…forgive me…" before grabbing for his scarf and mitts on the end table and making for the exit in haste._

_"Remus!" she called out, thankful for the silence charms on the eerie old house. Hermione leapt from the couch and ran after him, catching him in the front hallway quickly slipping his feet into a pair of old brown hiking boots. _

_"Forgive me, Hermione," he mumbled, not able to look her in the eyes._

_Remus made to move for the door but Hermione grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back with a force she wasn't aware she had. "Remus! Don't go! Please don't leave!" she begged, tugging on his arm while fighting back a fresh batch of tears. "Please Remus!" she sobbed._

_Remus stared down at the little witch. Her curly hair was pulled back into a messy bun; a few tendrils framing her face had fallen out at some point during the evening. Her beautiful sepia eyes were red and damp, her delicate flushed cheeks stained with dried tear tracks, and he knew if he left now that more tears would come. He didn't want her to cry, he couldn't bare the thought of making the one person in the world he now cared for cry._

_"I can't…I can't do this Hermione." He sobbed, turning his face away from the desperate girl. He closed his eyes and shook his head in hopes of conveying the distress he was currently in._

_Hermione grabbed at his other arm now and coaxed him backwards until he bumped into the wall. She reached up and cupped his cheeks once again, stroking away the hot tears that were spilling from his closed eyes._

_"Remus, don't go, please. Please stay," she whispered, moving in closer, tilting his head down to meet her lips, "don't go" she whispered against his lips, feeling his body quiver in tune with her own._

_Remus was cornered. The little witch had him trapped up against the wall, and he was too weak in the heart to push away the love she was offering to him, to Remus, the married man. A married man whose wife cheated him of what little time and happiness he could hope to have, and lied to him in the process. His broken heart couldn't stand any more pain tonight…_

_He felt her hot breath against his lips, and nothing had ever felt so forbidden, and so right. With all the passion the werewolf could muster, he threw the little witch from him, slamming her into the opposite wall. A small whimper escaped her lips when she opened her eyes and saw that beautiful man with the fire in his eyes advance on her. His right hand found her neck while his left grasped at her hip, pulling her flush against his arousal while simultaneously pushing her into the wall with his form._

_He ravaged her mind and body in the hall of the eerie Manor. And all he could think about was how right she had been when she said that his family was still waiting for him to find them. There was no denying it, he had found his family, it had been there all along._


	15. Chapter 15

Hermione awoke to the dust-dancing light streaming through the window of Sirius' den. After discovering her half-clothed state, she quickly began to collect her stray items, and then practically ran from the den. Sirius watched her hasty exit from behind a ceramic mug of coffee with an amused smirk on his face.

Hermione blushed and patted across the threshold to the dining room and kitchen. Seeing Sirius leaning against the island with a welcoming smile, she muttered something under her breath in embarrassment and scurried for the door to his flat. He held himself back only until the screen door to his flat rattled shut before laughing gaily at the flustered little witch. _She is too cute_, he thought.

Hermione spent the rest of the evening avoiding Sirius. She did not regret their little tryst in the den, but she couldn't help but blush when she thought of how wanton she must have seemed. _First, I tell him I refuse to be a notch on his bedpost. Then what do I do? I take him in the living room!_

Sirius ate his dinner in the company of the main household that evening. He had to fight to keep himself from catching Hermione's gaze and sending her a playful wink just to watch her blush and stammer. He knew she was sending him covert glances when she thought no one else was paying attention, he could feel those green eyes on him. _Those green eyes_. Part of him was so enraptured by the beauty across the table from him, wanting nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her with all the passion she had given to him just hours before, but another part of him felt incredibly guilty. She belonged to Remus.

He knew Remus was gone, but he was certainly not out of the picture. Sirius let his attention wander from the animated story Harry was recounting of the recent take down of an apothecary in Knockturn Alley to the mashed potatoes on his plate. He poked at the mushy lump with his fork and sighed inwardly.

_Remus is gone, but Hermione still loves him. She needs a good man in her life, but can I provide that? Likely not, I never was good at keeping a girl interested. Notorious flirt, yes. However, once they find out I am not a dark, dangerous wizard they lose their interest in me. _Sirius took a large forkful and shoved it into his mouth. _Then again, Hermione never really thought of me as dark and dangerous – rogue, indeed, but not dangerous_.

Sirius let his gaze shift from his pile of mashed potatoes to the witch across the table. She was pushing her beets around on her plate, trying to occupy herself. Sirius' brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what could be running through her mind. _She probably feels guilty about what happened. Remus may be gone, but he still holds her heart._

Sirius sighed, and immediately all eyes fell to him. Sensing that he had just caused a disturbance, he excused himself from the table, claiming he was feeling the touch of a headache approaching and needed to go grab a potion from the cabinet. Hermione dropped her fork as Sirius exited and said she would help Sirius find one, as he likely had no idea which potion was which. Harry and Ginny looked apprehensive, but nodded in agreement and went back to their own little conversation.

Hermione found her way to the bathroom where she could hear Sirius shuffling about from behind the door. She knocked softly.

"It's Hermione. May I ...may I come in, Sirius?" sounded the muffled voice from beyond the white washed door.

Sirius hesitated for a moment, and then flicked his wand at the door to unlock it and allow her admittance. Hermione stepped in to find Sirius perched on the edge of the tub with a box of unmarked potions in his lap. She closed the door behind her with a click and leaned up against it, casting her eyes down to the floor.

"I wasn't sure if you truly had a headache or if you couldn't stand to sit at that table any longer," she admonished.

"A little of both, I suppose" he admitted.

Sirius fidgeted with the box in his lap and signed. "I don't know why it's so tense. Us, I mean," he clarified, waving a finger in between them, "I hope what happened isn't going to make you uncomfortable around me, Hermione. This afternoon was bloody fantastic, and I really do appreciate your company. I was alone for so long …" he began, staring down into the box of potions. He continued, "I'm grateful for everything Harry has done for me, letting me stay here, treating me like I am family …"

Hermione made her way across the small bathroom to perch herself on the edge of the bathtub next to Sirius. She reached over and gently laid a hand on his forearm, "You ARE family, Sirius. Just because you do not share blood does not mean you aren't family. Harry loves you, very much. Don't ever feel like you aren't family, don't ever think you aren't wanted," she trailed off, feeling the prickling of tears in her eyes. She had always thought Sirius was rather insecure, but he never showed it. Seeing him in this state, feeling vulnerable was breaking her heart.

Sirius cast his gaze to the tiled floor underneath his slippers and took a deep breath.

"Before I fell, some of the Order felt I was a poor influence on Harry, but he never saw it that way. I was his link to a life he had been forcefully torn from. I was his past. He wanted to know all about his parents. He didn't care about big stuff, he wanted to know what kind of sense of humor James had and what Lily smelled like." Sirius laughed softly and smoothed out the wrinkles on his pants.

"I missed them. I missed them all so much. Then along comes Harry, the spitting image of James, but so clearly Lily's son. Telling the stories of his parents made it feel like they were alive again. It made me feel like I was alive again, too."

"They were my family, Lily and James, Remus, even Peter. They were my family. I loved them all so much. Never once had they looked at me as if I was a Dark Wizard, or a danger to someone's precious mission. They were home to me. We all took care of each other. We all needed each other to survive."

Sirius sighed and turned his attention to the towel rack. "I loved them. I loved the happy, mischievous little bundle of giggles that Peter was in Hogwarts. I loved Lily and James for the wonderful little family they built I loved Remus too, probably most of all …" Sirius sniffled and rubbed his brow, feeling the effects of the emotionally charged headache. Hermione, sensing Sirius' distress, wrapped an arm around his back and snuggled up closer to him.

"He was … so happy … the day he found out we became animagi for him. I remember Wormtail, Prongs, and I changing into our animagus forms to surprise him. I've never seen him look so proud and so loved before. He had always been so quiet and a little detached from the group in a way, until that day. He changed, almost immediately. We had always told him that nothing would ever make us turn on him, but seeing what we did for him, I guess it made it real. From the look on his face, I knew …" he trailed off, as if the silence spoke for itself. His eyes drifted back to the box of potions.

Hermione pointed into the box, "Drink half now, and the other half before bed," she explained. Sirius nodded and took the small vial out and held it in his palm.

Sirius smiled softly and let out a small nervous chuckle. Placing the box of potions on the floor, he pocketed the headache vial for later and turned his attention back to the witch next to him.

"Harry is a grown man now. He is going to start his own family, just as James did. I know he will still want me around at times, but a family needs their space. I will have to find my own place soon enough, get on with my life."

"I'm scared, Hermione. I wasn't alive until I met the boys. When I went to Azkaban, I died emotionally. I spent twelve years of my life completely detached from reality and humanity. That night, in the Shreaking Shack when we first met, that night was the first time in twelve years that another human being touched me. I knew everything would be alright when Remus embraced me because that simple act turned on my will to live again. All those years I tried to stay alive for Harry. Then I had to stay alive to kill Peter. But that simple embrace, that human touch, it made me want to live again, for me."

"I know it's selfish to say, but I need something, someone. I need to be wanted, I can't be alone again, I just can't. I'm 36 years old...It's been so long since I've been in a family, since I've been trusted … since I've been loved." he choked out.

Sirius shifted slightly so he was facing her. He looked directly into her eyes, "Perhaps moving here was a bad idea, perhaps I should have just gotten my own place. I want to be near Harry," Sirius reached up and wiped away a stray hair, "but I'm afraid my life has already passed me by. I don't want to end up old and alone because I couldn't tear myself away from what little time I had with Harry. " he asked. His apprehension was etched across his furrowed brow.

Hermione slowly raked one of her hands through Sirius' hair, watching his eyes flutter to a close as he tilted his head to lean into her gentle touch. His lips parted slightly as he sighed. She smiled, tracing the outline of his mouth with her eyes. She leaned in and brushed her lips over his parted ones in a feather-light touch. Sirius tiled his head to the side and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss.

Hermione pulled back slightly, letting her forehead rest against his. "You won't be alone, Sirius, I promise you," she whispered, before pulling him once again against her lips and away from reason.


	16. Author Note

Just a little note to all my reviewers!

Thanks so much for all the positive feedback! I hope you are all having as much fun reading this story as I am writing it. The first 15 chapters are complete(as they are obviously posted) but further chapters are not yet completed/betaed.

I thought I had posted this at the beginning of the story, but realized I hadn't:  
P.S. - I love you is canon, non AU.  
All book spoilers, disregarding the Epilogue. Screw the Epilogue...I didn't like it.  
Anything that happened before the Epi, happens in this story. There is a possibility that I will need to stray a little from canon, but I am trying really hard to keep this as compliant as possible. The 7 books were so amazing that I don't want to mess with it, I just want to add a second layer to the story, and pretend that "19 years later" never happened.

Also - there is a possibility for slash in later chapters, but because this story is labelled as HG/SB and not a slash pairing, I will be sure to include a note in the beginning of any slash chapter to let you know what parts to skip over should you not want to read slash, and a note at the end of the chapter that briefly discribes what you skipped over, in non-graphical detail. The slash relationship that is developing is not a large part of the story, but it will be important to the future of the relationships around them.

So...there were some questions that were asked! I will answer them in here (well, those that haven't already been answered in the fic):

lvswtht: What happened to Tonks? Did she die also? And what about her son and who is the REAL father? Oh and does Harry know that Remus isn't the father and did he get the chance to apologize for the awful things he said? And when do we get to meet Hermione's son?  
A: Tonks is dead, she also died in the final battle as per DH canon. Her son (Teddy) will appear in the next 5 chapters I believe, and the father will be exposed not long after. Harry doesn't know that Remus isn't the father, he still thinks that Remus tried to abandon Tonks on the night he came to ask permission to go hunting horcruxes with the Trio. Hermione's son is coming up REALLY soon!

A couple people mentioned that Hermione's eyes are green:  
A: Yes! I also answered this in the text, but just as an aside note, you might want to keep a look out for eye colors that are mentioned in the future!

New chapter is being worked on right now, and hopefully will be betaed by the end of the week. It's a biggie! The Welcome Home party is next :) 


	17. Chapter 16

The Burrow was lively and rambunctious, as expected. George was flirting shamelessly with Luna Lovegood in the den, who didn't seem to even notice the effort as she dreamily twirled her grapefruit and carrot juice mix around with a piece of straw. Fleur was conjuring miniature patronus' for Victoire and making them run laps around on the Muggle dinky-car mat she had brought from home while Bill was busy slapping his mothers hand away from his 'obscene' earring. Molly huffed and pointed her wooden spoon at her son, lips running a mile a minute as she was clearly scolding him with her usual "You're a father and a husband now William! Time to grow up!"

Ron and Hermione were standing on the threshold to the den. Ron was blushing madly and scuffing his feet as he related to Hermione his new routine of Muggle bodybuilding. Arthur had received a set for his birthday from Kingsley Shacklebot and Ron was determined to make the most of his tall stature by surpassing Viktor Krums build in hopes to impress the ladies. Hermione was doing her best to seem interested in the conversation, all the while trying to stifle her giggles that threatened to erupt as Charlie was standing behind his dear littlest brother, charming his hair into what Hermione could only figure was reminiscent of a disco ball.

Arthur had just hooked up the Wizard Wireless, and was now standing in the dining room charming the plates of food from the counter onto the table, which had been pushed up against the far wall in order to create a leisurely buffet atmosphere. Sirius had his right arm slung over Harry's shoulder, left hand holding a generous glass of firewhiskey. He was telling some sort of story about Harry when he was a baby and had used Lily's wand as a teething toy, causing sparks to shook out of his mouth every time he opened it for the next four hours. Ginny, Percy, and Neville all laughed as Harry blushed and grinned. He always loved hearing stories about himself when he was a baby. He never had the embarrassing photographs of himself in the bath as a small child, or stealing cookies from the cookie jar in his diapers as most kids had come to associate with blackmail to do no more than have a quick snog with their significant other, and found he was rather sad about it. But these stories that Sirius loved to tell, fell on welcoming ears.

The night wore on, but no one felt the hours. As more time passed, the occupants of the Burrow only became louder and more enthusiastic to hear all about Sirius' fall through the veil and his return. Molly had been bombarding him with her usual slew of questions, "When are you going to get your own place? When will you find a nice lady to settle down with? When are you going to get a job? Where are you going to work? When will you start having babies? You're not young anymore, Sirius! Time to get with the baby making!"

Hermione only heard small pieces of the conversation Sirius was desperately trying to sneak away from with Molly, but couldn't help but blush when Sirius told her that he wanted to settle down, but he'd only been back for a few days. She nearly choked on her butterbeer when Sirius threw in a "Babies take practice my dear Molly, I suspect I am a little out of times, and will require a lot of reacquainting with the art of conception."

Hermione coughed a fit through her beat red state, and placed her drink on the shelf next to her, making a quick retreat from Ronald's now glittering and spinning disco-hair for the bathroom. Sirius noticed her reaction and exit from behind his glass of firewhiskey. He kissed Molly on the cheek and politely excused himself with a promise to save her a dance later on in the night.

Sirius followed the trail of coughing down the hall and up the stairway to the third floor. At the far end of the small hallway, he saw a light shining out through a slightly-ajar door. Quietly making his way to the room, he pushed the door open a bit to see Hermione leaning back against the counter top, with her eyes closed. He thought about walking away and leaving her to her thoughts, but then decided that might not be a good idea, seeing as her timing for fleeing in a fit of coughs overlapped his 'sex-like-bunnies' story too seamlessly to be a coincidence.

Knocking softly on the door, he whispered into the room. "Hey Sprite. May I come in?" he asked hesitantly. Hermione's eyes shot open as she locked gazes with the older wizard and nodded her consent.

Sirius stepped into the room slowly, and let the door close itself softly, leaving a small gap open. He took the small two steps so that he was able to rub his hands up and down her shirt-clad arms. He absently mused that the color red she had chosen to wear tonight was a brilliant color to contrast with her green eyes. Hermione raised her eyes to meet his.

"Sprite..." he began, his soft voice resonating through the small bathroom, "You overhead my little chat with Molly then?"

Hermione blushed and looked away from the intense grey eyes that were questioning her. She felt silly for running off like that, in her mind it must be obvious to everyone in that room that she was enjoying a not-so-platonic relationship with Sirius. It wasn't that she didn't want people to know, she just had so many other things on her mind right now that she wasn't sure she could deal with all the issues at once. She was by no means a prude, but she wasn't about to flaunt her hormonal inclinations in front of her secondary family either. And on top of that, she knew it would eventually happen, and sooner rather than later, but Sirius' admission to Molly just made everything real. She was going to sleep with Sirius Black. Sirius acknowledged to her second mother – granted she doesn't know about Hermione per say – that he was a sexual creature, and had full intentions of having a sexual relationship. Hermione couldn't help but think it was like parents having sex. You know they do it, you just never EVER want to have to accept it as reality. As far as she was concerned, she was dropped into her bassinet by a stork. It could happen, she had seen much weirder things in the Magical World.

Hermione braced herself, "Sirius..."

Sirius waved a hand as to say that she needn't say anything. "It's obvious you did. I just want to apologize. I didn't mean to insinuate that you and I would become intimate again, or make you think that I expect that kind of attention from you. I was kidding around, and trying to get Molly to leave me alone, but it seems it backfired. Molly didn't appear to want to let up, and now you are avoiding me. I didn't mean to embarrass you, Hermione. You must know that."

Hermione's nerves began to settle slowly. Of course she knew that he wasn't blatantly exposing their relationship to the entire Weasley family. She knew he didn't mean anything by it, it just caught her off guard. Sirius reached down and grasped both of her small little hands, entwining their fingers together. He loved her touch. He figured he could be content to spend the rest of his life devoid of any relationships so long as Hermione's warm, caring hand was engulfed in his.

"Sirius... I know that you weren't insinuating anything. I know what kind of sense of humor you have. And it's endearing, really. It just caught me off guard" she admitted. Sirius raised his face to meet hers, a small quirk of a grin finding its way to the curve of his lips. His eyes softened, and he seemed to look a little bit lighter than he did when he entered the bathroom.

"I know you don't think of me as your property, or that you expect any...special attention from me..." she began, feeling the flush rise to her cheeks. _Oh Merlin! Just say it_... "but that's not to say that I don't...want to be intimate with you. In fact, I want...I want that, very much.." she trailed off in a hushed whisper.

Sirius stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Hermione looked positively divine right now. Her long chestnut hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, her long bangs swept off to the side where they curled and twisted into a beautiful face frame. Her creamy skin was tinted pink from her nervous state. She wore no makeup, just the way he liked her – fresh and clean. Her collar bone peeked through the top of her red button-down shirt which she paired with a pair of dark chocolate brown trousers. As usual, she wore no jewelry, save for that tennis bracelet with the cross charm locked onto the clasp. Sirius raked his bottom lip through his teeth and looked into the eyes of the shy little witch before him.

He leaned into her body, pressing himself flush up against her and pinning her to the counter top. Her head fell back as he leaned down and placed a trail of kisses from her collarbone up to her earlobe. Her breath came in short gasps. Hermione released his hands and found their way to the sides of his sky-blue oxford, grasping it and pulling him even closer to her than she thought possible at the moment. Sirius rested one hand on her hip, and the other found its way to the back of her head. He tilted her so that her neck was exposed for his ministrations. His mouth nipped and sucked gently at the junction of her jawline and neck, causing her to tremble slightly. Back up to her earlobe, he murmured, "I want you too, Hermione."

Hermione tilted her head back so that she was looking directly into his stormy grays. He looked fantastic. Ginny had finally gotten a hold of him with her scissors, and managed to shape his hair into soft waves that brushed away from his face and down the back of his neck. He had shaved off his goatee, and opted for a scruffy shadow instead. Hermione licked her lips; he looked positively edible. She tiled her head to the side ever-so-slightly, like a questioning dog.

"Yeah?" she whispered, never taking her gaze away from his.

Sirius nodded slowly, letting his eyes drift down to her mouth. "Yeah," he agreed, before taking Hermione's lips in his own.

Harry descended the stairs quietly, looking rather pensive. It had been a weird couple of days for him, and tonights observations guaranteed that it would get even more interesting. He silently made his way over to Ginny, who cocked an eyebrow at him as she passed back his drink he had abandoned moments before. Harry took a drink, staring off through the wall of the animated den, wondering just what to make of these events.

Ginny ran a hand down Harry's arm, giving him a questioning look. Harry snapped back to reality and looked down at his girlfriend. He smiled, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her close to his body. Ginny smiled in return, reaching up to plant a quick kiss on his lips.

Yes, things will definitely get interesting...

Hermione laughed gaily as she watched Sirius spin Molly around the freshly polished floor. Poor Mrs. Weasley was trying with all her might to make her escape from the Black heir. Sirius was currently putting on a show as he sang very loudly along to 'Helter Skelter'. The Muggle record player was a 'gift' from Harry to Sirius for his return. In actuality, Harry had merely sucked up all his courage and made his way through Number 12, Grimmauld Place to Sirius' boarded up bedroom where the record player was stashed. It was Sirius' link to sanity that year he spent in those walls, trapped like the fugitive he was. He also managed to stay in that place long enough to grab Sirius' collection of albums, but this particular one was in the Potter vault, left behind by his father.

Sirius released Molly, who quickly retreated to her husbands side with a distinct blush dusting her face. Sirius jumped and swayed his way over to Bill, who passed Victoire off to Fleur and joined Sirius in a dance that Hermione decided was mildly reminiscent of Wild and Slade. She also decided that Sirius would look incredibly sexy in glitter. And eyeliner. And those leather pants she knew were stashed away in his closet somewhere. And nothing else. Just glitter, eyeliner, and those pants that promised a good time. A very good time.

Hermione raked her bottom lip through her teeth in attempts to stifle the frustrated groan that was sure to erupt. They had agreed earlier in the bathroom that they would not rush things in their relationship, they would take their time and just see how things progress. _WELL_, she thought, _Sirius is sure making some progress!_ Bill had taken his ribbon out of his hair and was now head banging and playing air guitar. Ginny was being spun around the living room by Harry, who portrayed all the grace of a drunk hippogriff. Charlie was laughing and dancing with Fleur, who had passed Victoire off to an unamused looking Percy. George – poor George – was looking rather affronted as he had just received a slap from Luna after he tried to 'discretely' grope her ass.

Luna made her way across the den to Hermione's side. She smiled and took her dear friends hand in her own and stared out at the dancing crowd.

"It's lovely to see their smiling faces again, don't you agree Hermione?" she cooed.

"Indeed, Luna. It's been far too long. I guess I never realized I missed them so much." she sighed, allowing her lips to twitch up into a queer smile as she watched Sirius and Bill's air guitar..._competition?_

The two girls stood leaning against the wall, watching the dancing and swirling crowd for a few moments before Luna once again broke the silence.

"I can't decide who is more beautiful, Sirius or Bill...wow! Look at them go!" she giggled. "Was I supposed to pay at the door for this show?"

Hermione looked to her loopy friend in awe. Sure, she was only human, but to hear those words come out of Luna's mouth was still shocking. Hermione shook her head of the nonsense and looked back to the boys increasingly obscene display. "I won't tell if you don't."

Both girls erupted into a fit of giggles. Sirius looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with Hermione. The lust emanating from her was enough to make him close the distance between them and throw her up against the wall. Sirius shot her a wolfish grin, and let his hand glide down Bills arm. He leaned into his slightly younger friend and whispered something in his ear. Bill's eyes grew wide with interest, and nodded, sending Sirius a wink. Bill turned around to steal his wife back from Charlie as Sirius strode over to Hermione. He leaned down and whispered, "five minutes...meet me..." before a deafening crack of apparition and a child's wail halted their rendezvous.

Sirius swiftly turned around to see the entire Weasley clan with their wands drawn at a small figure to the side of the den. Ginny quickly charmed the music away, and looked to Hermione with urgency. The child continued to wail as if being torn to pieces as Hermione shoved a startled Sirius out of the way. She pushed through the small crowd to find her cousin huddled in the corner, clutching a small child to her chest, frightened and quivering like a leaf.

"Dawn?" Hermione felt as if she were going to faint. _This cannot be happening._ The child in her cousins arms turned to face the crowd. His eyes were red and puffy from excessive crying. He reached his tiny arms out towards his mother and cried "Mione! Mione!"

Hermione gasped and strode over to the crying child and pulled him into her arms. The mousy haired child gasped and sobbed, clutching to his mother for dear life. He looked over his mothers shoulder and caught the gaze of a set of stormy gray eyes.

Sirius couldn't breathe. He had seen this child in his mind as he passed through the veil. He had seen green sparkling eyes, looking up at Hermione like she was the whole world. Looking at the child now, it was clear he was Remus' son. The look of anguish, of fear and torment that was so foreign on the face of someone so young was a look he was all to familiar with. He had seen it numerous times on the scarred face of his father. Remus. Dear, sweet Remus.

Hermione rocked and shushed the now calming child until he was merely whimpering and clutching to her shirt and shoulder. She ran a hand through his soft brown hair and looked to her cousin once more.

"Dawn?" she asked.

Dawn had found her way into the farthest corner of the room. Her blue eyes were filled with intense fear - her body quaking and trembling. Her mouth hung open, but she could not find the words.

Hermione took a tentative step forward, reaching her free arm out to touch Dawn's shoulder and shake her back into reality. Dawn screamed bloody murder at the touch and tried to sink even further into the corner.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WHAT HAPPENED? WHO ARE YOU? WHERE AM I?" she began to scream uncontrollably. The Weasleys were at a loss. One moment they were enjoying a rather strange party, and the next there is a screaming lady in the room holding a child who seemed to know Hermione.

Sensing Hermione's distress, Ginny stepped through the crowd, wand drawn. She approached Dawn confidently and looked her square in the eyes. "Ginny?" sobbed the small girl. Dawn wiped furiously at the tears streaming down her face.

"I'm really sorry about this, Dawn." she admonished truthfully before charming the girl into a temporary sleep. She levitated Dawn into the air and guided her up the stairs into and empty bedroom.

_Oh god, oh God, oh God_... Hermione couldn't bring herself to turn around and face the occupants of the room. This was too horrible. Her cousin, her MUGGLE cousin had somehow gotten herself transported across the ocean to England, bringing the child no one save Ginny and Sirius knew about with her. _Oh God_. Dawn didn't bring her own child with her. _Oh shit, oh shit!_ Dawn's husband is probably at home freaking out and wondering what happened. _Oh fuck!_ Dawn probably apparated right in front of her husband!

Hermione continued to rock and sooth her baby boy as the tears welled up in her eyes. Lysander shifted in her grasp and she felt one of his arms move. The boy, who had been staring at Sirius for the last minute, raised his little arm and pointed at him. Sirius reached out and steadied himself on the wall, too shocked to stand on his own.

Xander kept pointing at Sirius, never letting his little green eyes falter. As his sobs ebbed away, he spoke.

"Puppy!"


	18. Chapter 17

After Hermione made her promises to explain everything to the Weasleys, she convinced Ginny to help her bring Dawn home. She knew her husband, Jack, would be worried sick as Dawn and Jack were Muggles, neither having any knowledge of a real magical world.

"I don't know what to do," admitted Hermione, holding the squiggling and protesting little boy as close to her chest as she could, "I mean, not only are they Muggles, but they don't even know about magic. Dawn and I are almost as close as you and I are, but does that mean she can really understand the world of magic? Can I trust her? Can she really handle knowledge of all of this? I've known about my abilities for over 10 years now, and shit still freaks me out," she finished, shifting her weight from foot to foot with a pained expression playing across her face.

Lysander huffed and beat on his mothers shoulder with his tiny fists. Hermione, obviously used to this kind of behavior merely held him tighter, switching him around so he was resting on her other hip while she talked out her situation.

Ginny folded her arms in front of her, still holding her wand, and tapped one of her feet. Her brown eyes kept darting from one area of the room to another, as she had been known to do when thinking. She sighed and rubbed at her eyes. "Ok," she began, pushing herself off the wall and twirling her hair up into a twist and securing it with her wand, "let's think about this. Dawn is a smart woman. She knows me pretty well, as I have spent lots of time her family. I think she trusts me. If the two of us sit with her and explain what is going on," she rolled her eyes, "as best we can, anyways... then maybe there is a chance she could understand. And if not, we can obliviate her." she ended with a shrug.

Hermione gasped, "Ginerva! I cannot erase my cousin's memory! It's cruel and dangerous."

Ginny pointed a finger at Hermione, "It's more dangerous NOT to."

Hermione huffed and ran a hand absently through Xanders hair. Another fine mess she had gotten herself into. Should she bring them both home, and alter Dawns' memory? Would she have to also alter Dawn's husband's memory? What if her husband watched her disappear? Would he have called the police? A friend to freak out over the phone at? How many memories would she have to alter? She couldn't very well sit the entire town down and explain to them that she was a witch.

Xander wriggled in her arms and tugged forcefully on her hair. Hermione let out a painful yelp and snapped her hair out of his tiny little grasp. Clearly, the squiggly little boy didn't want to be held – there were places to explore!

Hermione dropped Xander down to the floor gently, and watched as he pulled himself to his feet. With a delighted squeal, he tore through the door, and hightailed it down the hallway in search of new people. Hermione rolled her eyes at Ginny's quirked eyebrow, "Another Marauder in the making."

Ginny nodded, and returned her attention to the sleeping girl on the bed beside her. For a few moments, the two girls just watched her – tapping their feet, pacing the room deep in thought.

Hermione stood just before Dawn's sleeping form with her arms crossed and her foot tapping impatiently – nervously. "Wake her."

Ginny sighed and pulled her wand. With a gentle flick, Dawn began to shift uncomfortably on the single bed, slowly pulling herself from sleep. Scanning the room with a confused expression, her eyes fell upon Hermione first, then Ginny – who was discretely trying to store her wand back in her jacket. Dawn groaned and pulled herself upright on the bed, looking to Hermione.

Hermione sighed, and took a seat at the end of the bed, careful to leave some space between herself and her terrified cousin.

"Dawn, we need to talk…"

Sirius dropped dramatically onto the well lived chesterfield just off of the breakfast room. He ran a hand through his recently groomed hair, trailing his fingers down his face and resting on his neck, rubbing the base of his skull to try and soothe away the anxiety and confusion.

He knew very well that Hermione had a son, and that he was the flesh of Remus. He had seen him as he passed through the veil – those green sparkling eyes looking lovingly up at his mother, laughing at the joy the magic of the colors brought to his small but affectionate family.

He thought he was prepared for the boy; he was just a child, and Sirius was always really good with children. From the moment he laid eyes on the bright eyed newborn Harry, he fell in love – it was an immediate brotherhood. Sirius knew Harry would be a great man, a great friend, and a great son. There was never a question, never hesitation. The moment he saw the boy, through the glass window of the St Mungo's nursery, he knew that little boy was just as much his in spirit as he was James' in blood.

_There he was. Swaddled in blue cotton and placed carefully into the bassinet labeled 'Potter, Harrison J.' was the most heart-stoppingly beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes upon. New life. A small bundle of flesh and bones protecting a mind keen to learn and observe. Harrison James; his best friend's son, slightly translucent skin, red and splotchy from his ordeal, wrinkled from months inside the comforts of Lily's womb. Long dark lashes framing eyes he could only assume be just as beautiful as his mothers should he decide to grace the world with them. Harrison. Tiny fingers, jerky movements – trying with all his force to adjust to a world where his limbs could stretch and flex, a world where he would learn to run and jump and skip. Harry._

"_Harry," whispered Sirius, raising a hand to gently lie on the meticulously clean glass separating him from the boy. The boy wriggled in his bassinet and let out a long yawn. Sirius smiled dreamily and let his forehead rest against the glass, watching as his finger traced the outline of the swaddled boy. Closing his eyes and pressing his palm tightly to the barrier, he silently vowed to protect the child until his dying breath._

_Remus stepped up behind Sirius, laying a bare hand on Sirius' green hospital gowned shoulder. Stepping up to his side, hand finding the side of Sirius' head, Remus leaned in a placed a chaste kiss on Sirius' temple affectionately from behind. Opening his eyes, Sirius resumed his task of tracing the boys figure with his slender fingers, "I love him, Remus."_

_Remus smiled, wrapping an arm casually around his friend's waist and allowing his eyes to rest upon the object of Sirius' attention. _

"_I know. I love him too, Pup."_

_Sirius sighed, and laughed softly to himself, as if he couldn't believe that he could love someone so honestly after knowing him for so short a time._

The voices in the kitchen were wrecking havoc on Sirius' head. Stretching forward, he leaned his elbows on his knees and took a deep breath. Finding this to be no help, he let his face fall between his knees as he pulled in deep shaky breaths, trying desperately to calm his oddly wracked nerves.

Nothing could have prepared him to come face to face with the child. It was an oddly familiar feeling – the same feeling when he pulled a wailing Harry from the rubble of Godric's Hollow so many years ago – a feeling of utter despair, humility, and complete devotion. A feeling of love.

"_Someday, Remus…someday we will have that; a little piece of your soul, stealing your heart away in a onesie," he whispered._

_Remus grinned at his long-time friend and brushed the hair out of his face, "Never guessed you for a guy who wanted a family, Pup."_

_Sirius chuckled softly to himself, "There are plenty of things that I want, but I'm too stubborn to admit it."_

_Remus regarded his friend; after being so close to the man for so many years, he was still pleasantly surprised on a regular basis. Just when he thought he had finally figured out Sirius Black, he was thrown for another loop._

_To the outside world, Sirius was a playboy. He flirted with everything on legs, could charm the eye-patch off of a sailor should he desire to do so. He was a prankster, irrational, and temperamental._

_But to Remus, he was something different entirely. He was a fighter; he was passionate, emotional, shy, and loyal. Sirius would tell St Michael where to stuff it, while groveling at the feet of his best friends - crying from torment, begging forgiveness. When he loved, he loved with everything he had. He would place his heart in your hand if he felt you would understand and could possibly love him back._

_Each time a girl would walk away from him, a piece of his heart would break. Time after time he would open himself up, just a little, hoping to find that _**this time**_ things would be better. Each time, his innocence was thrown back into his face, leaving him broken and alone._

_He had seen it time and time again. __The look of complete dejection on his dear friends face as he stood alone in the corridor, not quite sure what to do with himself. __Remus would quietly steer him back to the tower, holding his hand as they walked in ominous silence. It was never an easy thing to do – leading your friend away from the scene of his heartbreak, knowing even Peeves had decided to leave the boy alone upon seeing the scene unfold in front of him. But this was Sirius, and Remus would never turn his back to him._

_Remus was the only person who could reach Sirius when he was hurt. Even James couldn't do anything to help him. James had tried to soothe Sirius only a few times; reaching out to grab his hand, or gently lay a hand on his friends shoulder to let him know he was there for him. Sirius would jerk away from James as if his very presence burned him. At first, this disturbed James – made him feel useless, as if Sirius didn't really care about their friendship. But in time he had come to realize that it wasn't a 'James' issue, it was a 'Remus' issue. Remus' touch would slowly bring Sirius back to reality, would soothe his aching heart temporarily – long enough to get him back to the tower where the rumor mongers could not get their greedy little claws into Sirius' dejection._

Sirius shook his head of the weird kaleidoscope of memories…_Memories?_

He loved the child, he knew from the moment he laid eyes on him that his life would be forever changed. He couldn't be there for Harry when he needed him the most, but this little boy would have a good male figure to look to for guidance. He would teach the boy how to fly, how to be confident, how to treat women. He would be there for him when his heart would be broken, and when he needed to tell someone great news. He would teach him hexes and jinxes, and charms to make the next generation of Marauders a reality. And if he was allowed to be such a big part of the boy's life, he would love him like a father loves his own son.

Would Hermione let him be that close to her family? Sirius always knew he wanted a family, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he didn't just want a family, he wanted THIS family.

_Wow….there's a kicker_, he thought.

The voices in the kitchen continued to hum through the den and accost Sirius' senses. Deciding against going in to fetch his liquid courage, he settled for summoning it by wand.

The Amber liquid swished and sashayed in the glass as it levitated through the doorway and towards him. A small smile graced his lips as it came closer and closer, only to fall from his features as a pair of tiny little feet chased the magical glass into his line of vision.

Dancing below the hovering glass was the little boy; jumping in glee as his tiny little fingers waved and reached for the charmed cup, laughing and cooing in excitement at the wonderful amusement that dangled just above his head of light chestnut hair. His little green eyes sparkled underneath squinted lids, "Juice! Juice! Dance, juice!"

Sirius chuckled and swished his wand, making the glass slowly circle the room, eliciting a gleeful squeal from the little boy as he chased it around, stumbling once and falling to his knees, only to giggle and pick himself right back up and continue dancing after his prey.

Sirius threw his head back and let out a mirthful laugh. He continued to summon the glass over to himself and transfigured the liquid into pumpkin juice. The little boy wobbled up to him and pulled himself up onto the couch next to the older wizard, clapping his hands and laughing at the wonderful trick the man was playing for him. Sirius ruffled the little boy's hair, and passed the juice down his little waiting hands. The boy locked eyes with the contented grey ones looking down on him, and took a few large gulps from the glass. His sparkling green eyes grew in size as he drank, obviously appreciative of the flavour. With a gasping breath, he pulled the glass away from his lips – licking the remnants off of the corners of his mouth and handing the glass back to Sirius. Placing the glass on the end table next to him, Sirius looked back down at the little boy who was in the process of pulling himself up into the strangers lap.

Sirius couldn't help the smile that played across his lips, "Well hello there, tyke. What is your name?"

"Woof!" the child responded, casting his attention to the buttons of Sirius' sky blue shirt. Poking each button with a little finger, he went from the bottom button all the way up to the top, and then back down again, "But'in!" he explained, with a slight nod of his head – as if just realizing what those little circular things were for the first time, and needing to explain this to Sirius.

"Woof? Now that's a strange name, does you mommy call you that?" Sirius asked with a soft chuckle.

Xander pulled a palm back and let it smack against Sirius' chest – eyes still focused on the marvelous buttons in front of him. "Puppy!" he said, matter-of-factly.

Sirius' eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. He put a hand over his heart, "Me? I'm puppy?" causing the little boy to giggle slightly.

Xander pulled his hand back once more, and dropped it back to Sirius' chest. "Puppy!"

Sirius threw his hands up in mock defeat, "Alright! No need to rough me up, Woof. If you say I'm puppy, then I guess I'm puppy!"

Xander giggled and rolled off of Sirius' lap. He resumed his clapping, "Pup-py! Pup-py!"

Sirius' quirked an eyebrow at the boy, wondering if he could possibly know…

Dawn fidgeted with the strings on her paint-splattered smock. It had been a long day before the little boy had popped her across the ocean, and it only continued to drag on and exhaust her.

Hermione was now seated on the bed next to Dawn, hugging her shoulder in a way she hoped was comforting. She had explained to Dawn that she was a witch, and that everyone she had seen when she and Xander appeared were also witches and wizards. Seeing the frightened expression on her cousin's face, she quickly added that they were all good witches and wizards, and that there was nothing to fear from them as they were just like regular people, only they lived in a world with magic.

When Dawn asked how this evening had happened, Hermione gave her the only answer she could – she told her she hadn't the slightest clue. From what she could gather, Xander didn't appreciate being separated from his mother for such a long period of time, and had summoned his uncontrolled magic by accident, drawing him as close to her as possible. Because Dawn happened to be soothing the boy at the time, she got pulled along for the ride.

Once discovering that Dawn had apparated away from her home without her husband knowing, Ginny immediately set off to talk to Jack, and to place a memory in his head that Dawn was actually away on a Spa week – something she had won in a mail-in contest through some private company. She removed the memory of Xander staying with them for the week, and slyly added a little 'memory' of wanting to cook Dawn a nice romantic dinner for her when she did come home from the Spa. Ginny snorted with amusement as she closed the door behind her and made her journey back to the Burrow.

"I still can't believe that you're a witch! And Ginny too! She seemed so normal!"

Hermione giggled and rubbed her cousin's arm, "She is quite normal, I assure you. Being magical doesn't mean we are any different. Have I ever seemed different to you, abnormal in any way?"

Dawn chewed lightly on her bottom lip, "No, I suppose not. I've never seen you use magic. Do you use magic when I'm not around?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with mystery.

Hermione giggled at her amused cousin, "No, Dawn. I don't use magic anymore. I have no need for it," she finished with a shrug, her lip tugging up in the corner.

"No need!?" squealed Dawn, "goodness me, if I could do magic, I use it all the time! No dishes! No laundry! No cooking! No driving anywhere! Imagine all the free time!"

Hermione rolled her eyes playfully, "Yes, Dawn! All that free time! All it does is make more time in the day to think and be bored. The novelty wears off after a while."

Dawn giggled and nudged Hermione in the side, "Sure! I can see how MAGIC could be boring!"

Hermione giggled along with her cousin, pleased that Dawn was starting to take this new revelation with relative ease. Just as she was about to speak again, Hermione's attention was diverted to the thumping noise coming from the hallway. With a quirked eyebrow to her cousin, she rose from the bed and opened the door up to see what was going on. No sooner had she done so, than a big black dog came loping down the corridor, bounding and skipping playfully, tongue lolled out to the side – followed by an amused little boy, squealing and laughing as he chased the animagus with outstretched arms, chanting "Puppy! Puppy!"

Hermione laughed, and felt her heart skip a beat.


	19. Chapter 18

**SLAP!**

"What?!"

Ron rolled his eyes dramatically and huffed in annoyance, "That's disgusting, could you bugger off, yeah?"

"Piss off, Ron," retorted Harry, bringing his hand back up to his mouth to gnaw away at his fingernails.

Harry and Ron had perched themselves side by side on the countertop away from the ruckus of the kitchen. The constant chatter of the Weasleys was agitating. Ron was certain that they wouldn't figure out what was going on until Hermione decided to tell them, so making assumptions was just a waste of precious sanity.

Turning back to Harry to talk about the last World Cup, his irritation mounted upon realizing Harry was once again biting his nails.

**SLAP!**

Harry's face flushed red with annoyance, "What the deuce?!"

Ron pointed a finger in his friends face, "That's gross. You know what my dad says is under your nails? Bugs. Bugs are under your nails, and now you are eating them," he finished with a shudder.

Harry cocked an eyebrow and thoughtfully considered his nails for a moment, "I don't see any bugs under there."

Ron snorted, "They are too small to see; only Muggles can see them with their telescopes and stuff."

"You mean microscopes?"

"Whatever."

Harry took another moment to inspect his nails, squinting and squishing his face up in concern. With a sigh and a shrug, he stuck the nail back into his mouth and continued to gnaw on it, "To small to see, to small to hurt."

Ron grimaced, "Gross!" and jumped from the counter to pour him self a fresh glass of pumpkin juice. Just as he was downing his glass and moving onto the tray of roast beef snacks, the kitchen was overcome with a deafening silence.

Hand in hand, Hermione and Dawn began to slowly descend the stairs into the kitchen, aware of the numerous eyes firmly planted on them. Ginny pushed her way passed the duo on the stairs and held her hands up in front of the group of family and friends to assure they would not speak until she had properly stated what was on her mind.

"Obviously, we all need to talk. Fleur, could you conjure up some more chairs and elongate the table so we can all have a seat and discuss what is going on?"

Fleur nodded in response to the request, and quickly made work of creating adequate seating for the party. Feet shuffled around quickly as everyone scrambled for a seat, save for Harry and Ron, the latter having perched himself up on the counter next to his nail-biting friend once more.

Hermione took a seat at the head of the table, and motioned for Dawn to sit next to her. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat and fixed her eyes on a knot in the table surface.

"It seems that the explanations shall never end. I will ask that no one speak until I have finished, for I truly do not wish to have to explain myself once more. I will also ask that anyone who deserves to know this information be informed by you guys later, as there are some people not present who will likely… be affected by this information."

"This is my cousin. Her name is Dawn. She is a Muggle, and she lives in the town I have been living in since the battle. She is married to a man named Jack, and they have a child. This is not the child that she appeared here with. That child is my own…" she trailed off as the shocked gasps and soft murmurs began to overcome the kitchen.

Feeling slightly queasy being the center of attention, yet again, Hermione slumped back in her chair and covered her face with her hands as the voices escalated.

"Oi! Shut your yaps and let her finish, yeah?" scolded Ron from the counter. Hermione pulled her hands away and smiled meekly at her old friend, who despite looking pissed off at his family and friends nodded confidently in return as he shoved a handful of beef into his mouth and muttered a barely distinguishable "gits".

After a short burst of quiet and embarrassed "sorry" from the group, Hermione cleared her throat once again and continued.

"His name is Lysander, or Xander if you prefer. He responds to both. He was born February, 1999. I found out I was pregnant right after the final battle and that's….that's why I left. Jack and Dawn are his godparents, he is in good health, and yes, he is magical."

"It seems that Lysander did not approve of being away from me for so long. Ginny and I talked briefly about it, and we figure he summoned his magic by accident and apparated across the Atlantic. Dawn was soothing him at the time, and was the unfortunate victim of a side-along. Luckily, she was not splinched."

"Ginny went to Dawn's home and had a little chat with Jack. He believes that Dawn is away at a Spa retreat and will be returning Sunday night."

Molly gasped, "Ginerva! You obliviated the poor man!"

Ginny crossed her arms and snorted in amusement, "No, mum. I did not remove his memories, I just placed a couple false ones in his mind. He didn't know that Dawn had disappeared, so I just changed the memories a little so that he assumed babysitting Xander was just a dream, and that Dawn had been gone for a few days. He is a little confused, but doesn't suspect anything."

Molly placed a hand over her heart and sighed, "Thank goodness!" Arthur chuckled, rubbing small circles on his wife's back to sooth her.

Hermione tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. Before she could continue to speak, Bill piped in, "Who is the father then, Hermione?"

Hermione let her green eyes flicker up to catch Bills odd gaze. He looked as if the answer would come as no surprise to him. She couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.

"I was just going to address that, thank you Bill." Bill nodded curtly, and winked conspiratorially in her direction.

"Now, this is extremely important. You all need to be perfectly quiet and keep your reactions to yourself until I finish or I might not find the courage to ever bring this up again."

Looking around the room, Hermione considered the audience. Hands were fidgeting with doilies and glasses of alcohol, fingers were playing with stray curls and wisps of hair, eyes darting from one occupant to the next, searching out the possible guilty party. One by one, nodded consents were given.

Suddenly, there was a thumping disturbance from behind Hermione. All eyes in the room turned towards the stairs, where a big black dog carrying a giggling boy was slowly descending. Padfoot looked pleased with himself, and Xander appeared to be as gleeful as ever. Coming to a rest beside Hermione, she reached down and picked up the amused little boy, resting him in her lap. His big green eyes scanned the large table of people. With a small wave of his hand, he exclaimed, "Hello!" to everyone with a smile.

Hermione chuckled and kissed the crown of his head, snuggling him into her embrace. Sirius transformed back from his animagus form and pulled himself up off of the floor. He quickly conjured up a chair and nestled it in between Hermione and Dawn. While Xander was charming the table by showing Luna next to him how he could count to five on his fingers, Sirius extended a hand to the out-of-place Muggle and introduced himself quickly.

Hermione ran a hand through Xanders unruly hair and smiled sweetly at him. Looking back up at the group, she realized that she had told them all to be perfectly quiet until she could explain herself, and laughed internally – how long could she manage to keep the entire family in absolute silence before one cracked? _Probably not long_, she concluded.

"Ok," she began, allowing Xander to learn forward in her lap so he could slap his palms loudly on the wooden surface, "there is a long story that leads up to my pregnancy, and I do not wish to share it. It is my personal experience, and Xanders father's personal experience. My life is not open to discussion, nor is his. I must stress the weight of this confession though; I will not tolerate anyone speaking harshly about his father."

Hermione sighed, casting her green eyes around the occupants of the room, searching out a friendly gaze to give her the strength to admit to the people she loved more than anything in the world the one thing that scared her the most. The air was heavy, and she was starting to find it difficult to breathe. They will hate her. They will hate him.

Hermione suddenly felt a large hand slip into hers, long fingers weaving themselves through her short slender ones. Immediately her heart beat began to regulate itself, and with a deep breath she cast her eyes back to the knot in the table.

"Remus Lupin is Xander's father."

Molly looked rather ill. Hermione knew that Mrs. Weasley would not take this information lightly – Remus had always been like a son to her, despite being roughly the same age as her. Arthur stared out the kitchen window to the left of Harry, nodding his head slowly and letting the information sink in while he kneaded Molly's tense shoulder with gentle caresses. George bore no telling expression – as if he had not heard Hermione at all. Luna coughed and fidgeted in her chair, casting her glance back down to her strange juice, feeling slightly like an intruder on this private moment. Percy and Fleur looked rather disgusted. Neville seemed to have lost all ability to stifle his shocked expression, let alone to blink or close his gaping mouth. Charlie tapped his fingers softly on the table, carefully observing Dawn's confusion.

Gathering her confidence, Hermione gave Sirius' hand a gentle squeeze and let her eyes flicker up to meet Bill's. The handsome wizard merely leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms and gave her a quick wink. Hermione made a mental note to speak to Bill later – he obviously knew more than he was letting on.

Hermione glanced up to Harry and Ron on the countertop. Harry was very obviously trying to silently communicate with Ginny something akin to "seriously?" while Ronald had let his face fall into his palms. Ron was shaking uncontrollably, and it was making Hermione rather nervous – Ronald was known for his emotional outbursts – until he burst out in a raucous laugh that quickly infected George.

Xander erupted in a fit of giggles, clapping his hands and bouncing on Hermione's knee as he looked between the two laughing wizards. _Glad someone is getting some amusement from my embarrassment._

Sirius reached over and ruffled the little boys hair and chuckled softly to himself, causing Bill to erupt into laughter. Fleur slapped Bill forcefully on the arm and clucked her tongue at him, to no avail. Hermione was dumbstruck, "What is so funny?"

Ron wiped away the joyous tears that were falling from his eyes as he fought to catch his breath. Harry swatted Ron on the arm, "Yeah, what is so funny Ronald? Hermione slept with Lupin! With LUPIN!" he accentuated. Ron shook his head, unable to breathe through his laughter. George roared and slapped the table loudly with his hand as he and Ron began to babble through their laughter to one another.

Ron pulled in a shallow breath and exclaimed, "You slept with Lupin! Oh bloody Merlin! Hermione slept with Lupin!"

Hermione huffed, "Well thank you Captain Obvious! Here I was thinking it was the immaculate conception! Of course I slept with him you daft idiot!"

Molly flushed a violent shade of crimson, "Hermione! That is not appropriate language for present company!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, poised to retort but Sirius cut her off, "Come now Molly, you can't possibly expect the topic of parenting to be brought up without the implied topic of sex."

Molly closed her eyes and waved her hands in front of her face, "I don't want to THINK about dear, sweet Hermione being defiled by any man, let alone a married man!"

Ginny giggled, "Oh PLEASE, mum! The only virgins in this room are too young to know how to wipe their own arse!"

"Ginerva!" squealed Molly. Harry gaped at his usually modest girlfriend, wondering what was in the punch to make everyone so…candid.

"Gin! I'd rather not discuss…that…with your parents present!" Harry whimpered.

Ginny rolled her eyes and shot Harry an unmistakable look, "Sex, Harry. It's called sex. You've done it, it's just a word, stop being such a baby about it!"

Sirius threw back his head and let out a bark of laughter, "Oi, witch! I knew I liked you for a reason!" he roared with a slap to his thigh.

George stopped laughing long enough to make a rude sexual gesture, to which Charlie responded with a sharp slap across the back of his little brothers head. Ron pointed to George and continued to laugh. Charlie sent Ron a "piss off you wanker" look to which Ron rolled his eyes, "Come on, mate! She slept with LUPIN for Merlin's sake! You got to admit that's right hilarious," Ron turned his humored blue eyes to Hermione, "All those years I called you a teachers pet, and I was right. Just never knew how right I was!"

Molly slammed her fist onto the table, "ENOUGH! Settle down this INSTANT you lot!" she screamed, sending scathing looks to all of her 'ungrateful' boys who were finding this situation a little too humorous. She turned to Hermione, softened, "Hermione, dear, how did this happen?"

Hermione shifted Xander to her other knee, only to discover that the little boy was squiggling out of her arms and reaching with all his might for Sirius. Sirius chuckled and hoisted the little tyke into the air, lowering him down just long enough to place a zerbert on his belly and hoist him back up again. The little boy giggled and blushed, "'Gain, Puppy!"

Hermione chuckled, and turned her gaze back to Molly, "Well, like I said, I became pregnant not long before the final battle. Everything was just, so intense, and we knew that the likelihood of one of us not surviving was too great to just…anyways, it happened. I found out I was pregnant right after the battle when I went to St. Mungo's to check on casualties. I fell ill and a nurse ran some tests, only to discover that I was pregnant."

Hermione sighed and leaned back in her chair. Molly sighed and forced her eyes up to meet Hermione's, "Why Remus, dear? He was married. He had a wife who loved him and a child who adored him; why would you let yourself become that woman? For that matter, why would Remus allowed him self to become that man?"

Sirius snorted and rolled his eyes, "Dora didn't deserve him. She didn't love him and he didn't love her," he quipped, fixing his steely grey gaze disdainfully on Molly, "All you cared about was getting dear, sweet Nymphadora married. Poor, lonely, miserable Lupin needed a girl. Didn't matter to you lot who that girl was, just as long as she was willing and able to accept him as a werewolf! Didn't matter to anyone that they weren't in love, even though Moony told you OVER AND OVER AGAIN that he didn't want a relationship with my cousin! Didn't matter that it was a terrible match, all that mattered to you was that it WAS a match! He was a man and she was a woman, they were both single and childless and therefore PERFECT for each other and DESTINED to fall deeply and madly in love!" he snarled mockingly.

Xander snuggled in close to Sirius, gripping tightly to his blue shirt, pinging the buttons on the front to occupy him self. Sirius wrapped his arms possessively around the little boy.

Hermione grimaced, stealing a glance at Sirius. He was infuriated. His breath was coming in quick, short pants, his face flushed crimson with frustration and something else she couldn't quite pinpoint. His grey eyes were wild and accusatory, unwavering in their heated debate with Molly's returning blue stare.

Molly raised a finger and pointed it scathingly at Sirius, "Now see here, Nymphadora and Remus _were_ a perfect match! She needed someone to ground her, and he needed someone to come home to at night. They adored each other – they were great friends! It was only natural to assume they would become an item!"

"Good gracious, Molly! Are you really _that daft_?" he exclaimed, shooting her a questioning look, "All Dora wanted was to be a mother! It didn't matter to her who the man in her life was! It didn't matter who the father was! She was _messed up_! You don't decide to have a family then just go grab Joe-Blow from around the corner to supply his little men and hope that you can fall in love with him. You know very well the proper way to build a family is to fall in love THEN decide you want a family with that pers…" Sirius stumbled over his words, "with that person."

Sirius cleared his throat and broke away from Molly's stare. Bill was obviously figuring things out – letting his questioning glance drift between Hermione and Sirius as his mother infuriated the wizard with each word that tumbled out of her mouth. Hermione stroked Sirius' arm in what she hoped was a comforting manner while he shifted the boy in his lap, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on the crown of his head. Hermione reached over and took the boy from Sirius' grasp. Hoisting him up on her hip, she quickly strode from the room, not caring that she was making a ruckus as she stormed up the stairs and away from the questioning glances.

Sirius sent a deathly glare down the table, "Now see here, this is how it's going to be. No one is to make Hermione feel the _least_ bit guilty about what happened. There are very few people who know the situation and those that truly know, understand. _We_ aren't judging her, therefore _you_ shouldn't either. Remus did _not_ have a good life, which is not news to anyone here. But what should be remembered is that Remus was _never_ in want of love. He had some rough times, but he was always loved. He had good friends." Sirius glanced around at the guilty faces.

"Remus never asked for _anything_. He accepted his place in life, and worked his fingers to the bone to make this world a better place for a bunch of people who likely don't appreciate of deserve it. He _never_ complained, or whined, or bitched about anyone. He loved unconditionally and with his whole heart. He never lied, to any of you. Don't fault him for your own damn blindness when it comes to the matters of the heart. You stuck your noses in where it didn't belong, and it resulted in destroying his hopes for a family."

" I may have been in that damned veil, but I saw things that I know are true. I saw what Dora and Remus were really like. You lot pushed a friendship into a marriage that had you given Remus ANY bloody choice to sit back and think about it without being pegged as a heartless man, they could have avoided and never ended up with this fate."

"You took his chance at a mate away from him, and scolded her when she told you that they actually managed to find a little bit of honest to goodness love in this fucked up world. You broke the heart of a wonderful woman, and turned their child into a bastard. Remus would be _ashamed_ to see what has become of you…." Sirius sighed and pushed himself away from the table, "Remus would be so ashamed…" he whispered defeatedly as he walked out of the kitchen and off to find Hermione.

"What about Teddy?! Remus cheated on Dora! How do you think that reflects on his family values that he would bastardize his first born son!?" Molly screamed after Sirius, who didn't bother to turn back as he walked away, waving his hand to brush her off in his disgust.

Bill shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, "Teddy isn't Remus', mum." He murmured, casting a knowing glance across the table to a set of terrified brown eyes.


	20. Chapter 19

"_Scrivenshaft's" spoke Remus._

_James rolled his eyes as he absently pulled Lily's hand up to his mouth for a quick kiss, "alright mate, you and Diana go to Scrivenshaft's, Lily and I need to Gladrags to order the new Gryffindor design on all the Quidditch jumpers for this season. Pete – you and Sirius should check out Dervish & Banges to see if they have a couple of sneakoscopes that can be fused with those noisy dungbombs I got for my birthday, and we can all meet up at Broomsticks for a late lunch around 2pm, savvy?"_

_Everyone nodded their consent and quickly split up. Diana looped her arm through Remus' and kissed him sloppily on the cheek. Remus grimaced, tossing Diana a mockingly displeased look, causing her to erupt in quiet laughter._

"_Oh Remus', honestly! You're such a prude!"_

_Remus huffed, "I'm not a prude, I just don't want people thinking your my girlfriend," he retorted poking Diana in the ribs._

_Diana giggled and snuggled in closer to Remus, "Am I not smart enough to be your girlfriend, Remus?"_

_Remus chuckled, "You know very well that's not the reason," he began, casting a mischievous glance towards his dear companion, scrunching up his nose in mock disgust, "you're just not nearly cute enough."_

_Diana squeaked, breaking free from Remus' arm to swat him twice before he managed to escape, laughing wildly as Diana chased him down the street towards the quill shop_.

* * *

Sirius closed the door behind him with a trembling hand, slumping back onto the cool wood and letting his body drift slowly down to the floor. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he clicked the Muggle lock into place with the hand still grasping at the doorknob and let his head fall back against the barrier.

With eyes closed, he took a couple deep breaths and tried desperately to mentally brace himself for what was sure to be an uncomfortable confrontation with the green-eyed witch.

He thumped his head back against the door and groaned in agony, "Gods, Remus. I'm so sorry. So sorry," he whispered.

* * *

"What in the name of Merlin is your problem?"

Bill grasped the man's shirt violently and shoved him up against the wall with a grunt, "You are my problem. I don't know if you've realized, but the cat is out of the bag. Time to step up and take responsibility you weaseling little shit," he spat angrily, his usual soft brown gaze now wild.

* * *

_Sirius flopped back onto his four poster, tossing his transfiguration book to the foot of the bed and reaching into his drawer for a licorice wand. Taking a rather large bite, he scooted over and sat up so his back was pressed against the headboard, allowing Remus to flop down next to him. Pressing his back into Sirius' chest, he let his head droop down onto his friends shoulder. Sirius smacked away at the gummy treat in his mouth, unaware that Remus had covertly stolen the last 2/3rds of the treat and was currently stuffing it into his mouth, smiling wickedly._

_Sirius sighed and swallowed the gummy as he began to play with Remus' thick chestnut hair. He twirled a wavy lock around his long slender finger, and let it drop, only to pick a new piece and start over again._

_Remus smiled. He loved having his hair played with – it was such a loving, doting action that he couldn't help but lean into the touch. Sirius chuckled and placed a chaste kiss on the top of Remus' head._

"_Say Moony," he began, looking thoughtfully out the window to the rising fog that had settled over the lake, "do you think Jamie is right? About the whole family thing, I mean?"_

"_I'm not sure, Pup. I've never really thought of myself as a family man. I wouldn't be able to support a family, for one. Secondly, I would have to find some poor girl willing to look passed my lycanthropy. And even still, she would have to be one hell of a woman to trust me with my own children," Remus trailed off with a sigh. "I just don't think that kind of love is in my future."_

_Sirius nodded, "I'm not sure it's in mine either. Is that such a bad thing though? Babies cost a lot of money, they take a lot of time and patience, and they will inevitably hit the age where they can't stand to be seen in public with you. They will grow up and blame you for all the crap in their life, only to have babies of their own and stick you with the babysitting. Being a parent seems like a crap job to me."_

_Remus laughed heartily, "Well, when you put it that way, it doesn't seem so bad, being old and alone I mean."_

_Sirius sighed and pulled Remus closer to his chest, placing a kiss on his cheek, "You won't be alone, Remus. We are going to graduate, and move into that flat my uncle left me. I'll get a job at the Ministry, and with the money my uncle left, you can open that defense studio you've been thinking about. We can grow old and crotchety together, sit on the front porch and wave our canes at young children as they take shortcuts through our yard."_

_Remus snickered, "You – a job at the Ministry? Guess that means you will have to pick up a book every now and again."_

_Sirius snorted, "I'll have you know I do just fine in my courses, git!"_

_Remus sighed contentedly, "Old and crotchety together, eh?"_

_Sirius smiled, looking down into the pale eyes of his best friend, "If you'll have me."_

* * *

Hermione knocked softly on the bathroom door, "Sirius? Would…would you open the door please? I...I need your help," she murmured quietly to the small crack along the frame.

Sirius quietly cleared his throat and swallowed thickly. Standing up from where he had slumped down to the floor, he reached out and clicked the Muggle lock up and turned towards the sink. Running cold water into his cupped hands, he splashed his face twice to freshen himself up as he spotted Hermione slowly moving into the bathroom from the mirror in front of him.

His soft grey eyes met with her concerned and weary green gaze by reflection. Hermione handed a dry face towel over to him, "I would like to leave, but I'm afraid I'm in no condition to be apparating with two side-alongs," she mumbled to her feet.

Sirius held up a hand and shook his head as if to stop her from whatever explanation she was rehearsing, "Not to worry. You take the boy back to Harry's, I will bring Dawn along with me right behind you."

Hermione let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding and smiled appreciatively, "Thank you, Sirius."

* * *

Dawn had made her excuses once they had settled into Harry's flat that she needed a good nights rest after the excitement of the day. Taking Xander with her, she made her way to her temporary bedroom across from Hermione's and closed the door behind her. Sirius threw a silencing spell on her door just in case Harry decided to pitch one of his famous fits when he got home, as it was likely to happen with the events of the evening.

Hermione changed into a pair of brown pajama pants and matching brown hooded sweatshirt. She slipped her feet into a pair of grey fuzzy slippers and padded her way over to Sirius' flat while twirling her hair up into a messy bun.

Sirius made them each a cup of hot tea with a splash of brandy to calm their nerves. Sipping silently for a few minutes, Sirius decided the uneasy quiet of the room was becoming too much to bear.

"Ok!" he gasped, "Let's not pretend this evening did not happen. You are going to talk, I am going to talk; we'll get pissed and hopefully this weir," Sirius gestured wildly with his hands, "…tension will be gone by the end of it."

Hermione quickly set down her tea and shuffled into the kitchen. Sirius rubbed his temples as he heard the clinking of glasses and movement of various bottles from the next room. Hermione made her way back into the den with two glasses and a large bottle of corked amber liquid, "No idea what this is but it looks potent and there is almost a full bottle of it so here we go," she mumbled as she poured a generous glass for each of them. Raising her glass into the air, Sirius mimicked with a 'cheers'.

Hermione shivered lightly as the liquid burned a path down her throat. Smacking her lips together a few times, she sighed and turned her gaze towards the handsome wizard across from her who was gulping down the mystery liquid like it was water in the desert.

"What a bloody night," she groaned.

Sirius pulled the empty glass away from his mouth and poured himself a fresh glass. Leaning his elbows on his thighs, he leaned forward in his chair and twirled the amber liquid around, "I'm sorry you had to be put through that. It's never a pleasant feeling to be put up in front of the firing squad. I only wish I could have hexed Molly's lips shut without a dozen witnesses present."

Hermione sighed, "It's alright. I knew it wouldn't go over easily. Molly simply adored Tonks. I knew she would react poorly to the thought of Tonks' husband and I having an affair. You can't really blame her, she doesn't understand the circumstances. If I had explained the whole 'mate' situation and what occurred to draw Remus and I together – romantically – then she would probably understand. Quite frankly, I don't feel like explaining it to her as it is none of her business. She can hate me for eternity for all I care. I just don't like the thought of her disliking Remus."

Sirius chuckled lightly, "It's strange that they say 'opposites attract'. You and Remus are so alike it's eerie."

Hermione sipped at her drink and eyed Sirius questioningly, "How do you mean?"

Sirius continued to twirl the glass between his hands, watching the liquid create a funnel-shape down the center, "You both read obsessively, you both have insatiable appetites and incredible metabolisms. I would be hard pressed to show you a spell that you don't already know. Neither of you are superficial, or flashy. You are both stubborn, passionate, and neither of you will ever look at the world through a rosy filter. You both are fiercely loyal, and care more about the people you love than you do for yourselves," he trailed off.

Hermione slipped out of her seat and slumped back on the chesterfield next to Sirius, leaning back and taking a large swig of her drink, "You're right, it is eerie."

Sirius nodded, and leaned back, letting his head fall back upon the back rest and turning to face the little witch who was staring at him with strange intensity. Hermione let her eyes roam over his face momentarily, taking in the soft lines around his eyes, the crease in his brow, the little strands of grey that were slowly forming around his temples. She traced the outline of his lips, drawn to the way that the corners quirked upwards even when he was not smiling. He had a small scar on his left upper lip. His nose was ever-so-lightly dashed with freckles that should you not be this close to his face you would have missed entirely.

Hermione smiled inwardly. Sirius was a beautiful man, there was no denying that. She wondered how many people really understood just how beautiful he truly was, how many people knew that he had a light dashing of freckles, or that his steely grey eyes had a little bit of green flecked through them laced with gold.

Sirius winked playfully at her, jolting her back to reality and causing her to blush slightly. He oddly did not mind that she was scrutinizing him so closely – a privileged he extended to only 3 other people in his life; James, Harry, and Remus. They were the loves of his life. James had been like a brother to him, almost like an extension of his very own body and mind. Harry was turning out to be exactly the man his father had been, only slightly more jaded and reserved. Remus… well Remus had been everything else. All of the happy moments in his life he had shared with Remus; pranks, discoveries, friendship, acceptance, accomplishment, his fears and his desires alike.

Sirius thought he should be unnerved to be feeling this happy without Remus present, but in a way he was. He was reflected through Hermione's beautiful green eyes. Even though Sirius had never known a green eyed Remus, there was no denying that they belonged to him.

Sirius swallowed thickly, _she belongs to him._

Hermione's head rolled back so she was facing directly into the doorway. She took a long sip from her glass and licked her lips of the remnants, "I want to thank you, Sirius. For tonight, for defending Remus and I. I know it could not have been easy for you to talk about him…" she trailed off.

Sirius sighed, "Easier than you would think, actually. Sure, it's painful to think that he is gone, that I am the last survivor of our friends, but in a way, I'm really not. Harry is turning out to be so like his father was. Same headstrong attitude, heart-on-his-sleeve, never thinking about the outcome of his passionate outbursts. He's got himself Ginerva, who is so freakishly like Lily that it almost makes my skin crawl. And you," he murmured, taking the chance to flicker his gaze up to meet Hermione's, "you are so like Remus that it feels almost as if he is still here."

Hermione blushed lightly and tore her gaze away from Sirius', "He missed you, you know. When you passed through the veil, Remus was inconsolable for months. He never did recover from losing you - blamed himself actually. Always murmuring about how he should have been watching Bella, should have known she would take great pleasure from executing a member of her own family. Even when we were together, I could see in his eyes when the room was quiet that his thoughts had reverted back to all the mistakes he had made with you; believing you capable for murder, letting you go to Azkaban without a fight, letting you fight your own battles against your family, keeping you from contacting Harry as much as you would have liked, keeping you locked up in that dreaded old house with your mothers portrait while knowing how much it tortured you to be there..."

Sirius swallowed thickly and kept his misty grey gaze on Hermione, willing her to continue talking about his dearest friend, afraid that if he spoke Remus' presence in the room would be forever gone.

Hermione fumbled with a loose string on her sweatshirt, continuing to mumble on, "I heard what you said tonight, that Remus was never in want for love. Is that true?" she whispered, resting her eyes on Sirius'.

Sirius nodded slowly, careful not to blink as tears threatened to spill from his eyes, "I meant every word. Remus was never in want for love," he murmured.

Hermione's brow furrowed in thought. A few moments of silence passed between the two before she willed up enough courage to continue on.

"You loved him." It wasn't a question, merely a statement of truth. She should have seen it before, but it just wasn't one of those things that immediately came to mind when you saw Remus and Sirius together. Sure they had always been close, but it seemed like one of those friendships that just couldn't be put to words. The silent touches, loving gazes, and carefree laughter of a couple of boys who had been friends long since before they had met.

* * *

_Pete nearly jumped straight through his own skin when the dormitory door slammed open and Remus came scampering through… tripping over his own feet and laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. He just about died of laughter when Sirius stomped in after him._

"_FIX it, Remus, fix it NOW! I swear to MERLIN I will bloody murder you with my own hands if you don't FIX IT NOW!" his oddly sing-song voiced bellowed across the dormitory walls._

_Remus wrapped an arm around one of his bedposts and gasped for breath, slightly bent over and clutching at his chest. It would have been a fright to see if Remus wasn't shaking uncontrollably from laughter. Sirius tossed his book bag down and lunged across the room towards Remus. Remus squealed, scrambling over his bed to put some distance between himself and his seething best friend._

_Sirius shifted his weight from foot to foot, fists clenching and relaxing in frustration. His steely grey eyes were almost pure silver from the fire and venom he felt pulsing through his veins. He wanted to wrap his little hands around Remus neck and squeeze until he reversed the damn spell._

"_Pads…I can't… it's timed…I'm sorry, really really…" Remus huffed out between breaths, "sorry". He really was sorry, but he hadn't lied when he told Sirius that the spell was time release. It would be another 6 hours before things returned to normal._

_Sirius threw his fist into the bedpost and screeched like a wild banshee. Of course it was a time release spell, he knew that long ago. It still didn't change the fact that he was stuck like this for 6 hours any better. He knew it was irrational to screech at Remus for not having a reversal for it, but it made him feel slightly better to have at least someone to yell at._

_Just as Sirius was on the verge of pitching one of his famous fits that were famous for clearing the dormitory for 12 hours at a time, James flew through the door with his Polaroid in one hand and a developed photo waving in the other._

"_Oi! You aren't going to believe what I have here! I was out snapping pictures for my Muggle Studies project and just…" James trailed off, having registered the change in the room._

_Standing dead center of the room was his best mate. His black curly hair was tied up into two yellow ribboned pigtails atop his head. His eyebrows lengthened slightly, and shaped. His usual 5 o'clock shadow was replaced with smooth creamy skin. His lips twitched up slightly in the corners, pink and full. If that wasn't enough, taking a glance downwards, James noticed the definite addition of breasts to his best mate, and a uniform skirt where usually there would have been slacks. All in all, Sirius Black made a pretty cute girl._

_Sirius shot James a scathing glance. The room went dead silent. Sirius quirked an eyebrow at his friend, daring him to speak, to say something to set him off. James was stunned. Dropping the picture he had so proudly brandished moments ago, he quickly lifted his camera and snapped a picture._

_Before Sirius had time to react – to pummel his best friend into the floor – a quick hum of magic skitted by him from behind. James squeaked in a very feminine manner as his unruly hair lengthened, his square frame rounded off, his nose turned up and his hands contracted into delicate palms and fingers._

_Sirius' head snapped around and saw Remus proudly storing his wand back in his robes. He didn't even noticed James' squeal and retreat from the dormitory to the bathroom to assess the damage as he smiled at his mate and nodded._

* * *

"Bill, please. This has to stop! We keep having this same stupid argument over and over again... what happened to us? We used to be the best of friends," Charlie pleaded.

"Yes, Charlie, we used to be very close. Things change, people change..." he spat.

Charlie sighed, running a freckled hand through his short red hair. Bill took a deep breath and turned to face his brother once more. Charlie looked on the verge of an emotional outburst, his unshed tears threatening to spill should the air shift in the slightest. Bill sighed.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. You're my brother, you have always been, and will always be my best friend. But we aren't playing Wizards and Warlocks in the sandbox anymore, we are grown men. I have a wife, and a family. They need me, and I need them. I never thought that a family of my own could mean so much to me, that a woman or a child could steal my heart quite the way they have. I would die without them, and while some people think that makes me weak, I happen to think it makes me stronger. I have something to live for. I have something to fight for."

Charlie wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his striped shirt and tossed his pleading gaze to Bill, "You think I don't want that too? I would trade places with you any day Bill! I don't have anyone to love, anyone to take care of. I go to bed each night and crawl underneath cold sheets. I live in an apartment that has blank walls and a closet full of dangerous artifacts that are not suitable for children...do you know why? Because I have no children. I have cold sheets because there is not another warm body there to curl up into. You...you have everything I want, and everything that I can't have."

Bill gave Charlie a calculating glance. He knew Charlie was lonely, and he knew he was a good man. Charlie had an amazing capacity for love, but found it difficult to find a woman who would want to give their heart to a man who had such a dangerous job, a woman who could understand his life long ambition to put his life on the line day after day to try and tame those fantastic creatures enough so that they would be less of a danger to others.

Charlie turned his back to his brother and buried his face in his trembling hands. He began to sob silently, wishing that this conversation would just end already, that he could go and have a couple of drinks and let his mother kiss him on the forehead and lift his spirits with tales of his childhood. He was vaguely aware of Bill placing something upon the picnic table beside him as he spoke, "I cannot give you Tonks back, but there is someone who needs you as much as you need them."

A few moments passed and the sound of the back door quietly shutting made it's way to Charlie's ringing ears. He sighed, wiping the last of his tears away as he turned to see what Bill had left for him.

It was a picture, of a small boy with vibrant purple eyes and strawberry blond hair.

* * *

_Sirius kicked absently at a hard ball of snow, watching it bounce a few meters ahead of him before stopping and waiting for the next assault. It was a warm day under the grey Hogsmeade sky, but not nearly warm enough to force away the snow._

_Sirius had been ditched by his friends; James had managed to pull Lily away from Scrivenshaft's newest novelty item – a quill and parchment set that notated their owners thoughts in neat pullet points (...perfect for studying for NEWT's James! I could be studying and preparing for two different courses simultaneously!) - and into Madam Puddifoot's for a cuppa, Pete had been given some insider information from Remus that their dear Diana was simply dying to try one of Luciano & Gorbitts famous cinnamon buns that come with a choice of 16 different toppings and decided to muster up his courage and ask her on a date, and Remus? Well, Sirius wasn't exactly sure where Remus had buggered off to, but he suspected it had something to do with the new shop that sold Muggle novelty items that Remus had mentioned could be a perfect place for him to find something for his mother as a Christmas gift._

_'At least the snow tapered off', he thought, squinting up at the grey clouds from under his faded red newsboy cap._

_Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his too-big pea coat, Sirius left the remnants of the mutilated snowball behind and made for The Three Broomsticks for a warm butterbeer to kick the edge of the chill off of him. Just as he was wondering to himself how long it has taken Lily to hex James for the pick-up line he had been so proud of and planned to use today ('__If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.'), he saw two people scuffling quickly for the alleyway just to his right and up about six stores. The last boy in looked suspiciously like Snivellus, and immediately 8 different hexes and jinxes popped into his mind that would brighten up his day._

_Sirius snickered gleefully to himself, skipping along quietly along the fronts of the shoppes so that he could easily peer around the corner of the alleyway and cast his hex without being caught._

_The first thing he noticed, was that the boy was not Snivellus at all, It was Jordan Mullins from Hufflepuff. He had the same long dark hair as Severus, but also had warm brown eyes and a thin goatee that made him look about 2 years older than he actually was. All in all, he was a very sweet boy, had even gotten the Marauders out of trouble a few times by vouching for their whereabouts when McGonnagal would try and tear them a new one.(Truly, Professor, James and Pete were with me in the East Wing common room the whole time discussing Muggle music. If you are going to punish them for anything, punish them for not liking The Beatles. Honestly! The Sex Pistols? Sid Vicious is cool and all, but no one is as cool as John Lennon!')_

_Before Sirius had the opportunity to be disappointed, he noticed that Jordan was not simply in an alleyway with someone, he was snogging the living daylights out of that someone! His hands were pressed up against the cool stone wall of Fortiscue & Ingrams, one of his legs was crammed firmly between the legs of his companion, and he was panting violently in between kisses._

_Sirius' lip twitched up into a sly smile, wondering who Jordan had been keeping secret from his buddies. Not being much of a voyeur, he made to turn and walk away to share this information with Pete and Diana, when Jordan pulled back and revealed his secret._

_Brown hair flecked with bits of unmelted snow, soft pale eyes whose corners were laden with creases from laughter, full bow shaped lips that encased a set of perfectly straight white teeth...that was Remus._

_Remus smiled sweetly at Jordan, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. His November eyes danced with mischief as they flicked between Jordan's honey brown eyes and kiss swollen lips before reaching forward and catching his mouth once more in a quick kiss._

_Jordan laughed quietly, bringing his hands down to rest on Remus' sides, stroking him lightly while never tearing his glance away from the boy in front of him. Both boys smiled happily and whispered oh-so-quietly between themselves._

_How had Sirius never noticed this before? Remus was kissing another boy. He was smiling, and running his worn mitten-laden hands up Jordan's arms. Jordan cocked his head to the side and slowly reached up to the collar of Remus' tweed jacket, pulling it tight around his neck, and adjusting his golden scarf to keep out the cold. Remus thanked Jordan with a goofy lopsided grin before letting his head fall back against the wall._

_Jordan leaned in slowly and let his lips brush against Remus', who grasped tightly to Jordan's winter cloak and pulled him in to deepen the kiss. Jordan opened his own mouth and danced his tongue gently across Remus' lower lip, licking the tip of Remus' tongue and making him shudder._

_He bit gently on Remus' lower lip, letting his teeth drag across it before releasing it and kissing him once more. Remus let out a breathy moan before creeping his leg up against Jordan's arousal. Jordan groaned from the blissful agitation and pressed himself fully against Remus, trapping him against the wall and ravishing every piece of skin he could make contact with._

"_Oh Merlin...more..." Remus rasped, grasping the other boys thigh with his left hand while pulling his scarf off with the other. Jordan ground his aching arousal into Remus', eliciting a sharp gasp and intake of breath from the boy pressed to the wall, "Don't stop, Jordan, please..."_

_Sirius whimpered quietly as he watched Remus grip Jordan's long hair and guided his mouth back to his own. Leaning against the side of the alley wall, Sirius watched with rapt fascination as Jordan continued to push his friend over the edge, touching his clothed chest, making that kind and gentle face contort with pleasurable pain, causing those bow shaped lips to curl up and expose his perfectly straight white teeth, forcing away that gentle silky voice in favour of a breathy husk._

_Sirius was confused. This was his friend, and here he was, spying on what was surely meant to be an intimate moment. Never before had he ever imagined that Remus' could be such a creature of nature, despite knowing that 12 days of the year he was exactly that. But the wolf and the boy were so different; the wolf was crass and impulsive, natural and carefree whereas Remus was calm and calculated, solitary and kind._

_A loud groan broke Sirius from his reverie. His eyes snapped back to the scene in front of him. Remus' eyes had snapped shut, his head lolled back against the wall with Jordan's hand firmly secured over his mouth as he shook and moaned into the glove. Jordan dropped his head to Remus' shoulder and bit into the material as he too was overcome with spasms of pleasure. Remus wrapped an arm around Jordan's neck and held him as they both calmed down._

_Sirius calmly pushed himself away from the wall and staggered away from the alley, thankful that he had not been caught watching them, but cursing himself for staying as long as he did for it would surely cause much discomfort in the nights to come._


End file.
